Did I make a faux pas at child’s party by not bringing a present ?

[Sleepingworries]

My child was invited to a birthday party for the first time last weekend and it didn’t even cross my mind to bring along a present… it was only when I saw a pile of presents in the courner that it made me wonder if that is the done thing.

I’d totally forgotton about the party, and only remembered when one of the other mums text me asking where I was so I also didn’t have a card either and got there halfway through.

Have I made a faux pas here ?! I did apologies for not remebering the card but it’s a bit late now.

You’ve left it a week to ask this question?

I'd send it on Monday and say you forgot it. Of course you're supposed to bring a gift, at the very least a birthday card.

@Sleepingworries did you grow up on a desert island???

Go get a gift and card now and take them round and apologise for "leaving them at home".

Its been etiquette to take a card and gift to a child's party for the last 100 years in the UK!

If you end up going to 15 parties a year (that’s fairly typical at infant stage), £10 a go is £150. A couple of children doubles that (obvs) - and there are many families where £300 is a significant amount of money.

A tenner is fine in most areas. And if you can’t afford it, a fiver works just as well.

Oh, that’s actually really bad! You WILL be spoken about I’m afraid. Not only for the no card & present but turning up half way through because you’d forgotten is also really rude.

My child was invited to a birthday party for the first time last weekend and it didn’t even cross my mind to bring along a present

Really? 🦬

You should be showing up on time too.

Your kid can't take you anywhere.

It is the done thing to take a gift and card to a kids party. It doesn't need to be expensive. Why not buy something now and hand it over at school/nursery next week with apologies that you didn't bring it on the day. I've also had kids come to my children's party with no gift at all. I didn't think anything of it because I know it's difficult to always be organised and I'd prefer that the kid comes and has fun, rather than doesn't turn up because their parent forgot or wasn't able to buy a gift.

Are you from another planet?
no card
no gift
turning up half way?
yeah I’d be annoyed.
gifts aren’t necessary but a card and being on time are.
otherwise your being so rude. Turning up late so you can have a good time but not even acknowledging the kids birthday.
what planet are you on?

It depends on the situation but I wouldn't worry too much about it. If someone turned up for my childs birthday when they were younger without a present I wouldn't bat an eyelid, some people are on a tight budget, some people have chaotic lives and it slips their mind etc I would genuinely just be glad your child could be there present or no present. I'm actually surprised at the answers here.

How are you adjusting to life on earth op? Must be a big difference to your home planet

You've apologised for forgetting a card so I'd pop a voucher or £5/£10 into a card and take it to school tomorrow/post through letterbox today.

It is the norm to bring presents, but don't feel pressured to spend silly amounts as kids receive so many things. You'll see lots of threads on here about good ideas for gifts - small amounts of cash/vouchers are nice so kids can choose something themselves, as are "consumable" gifts like arts and crafts sets, colouring book and pencil set etc.

I cant believe you are asking if its a faux pas to turn up to a birthday party without a card or gift!

Put a tenner in a card and give it to them on Monday. It’s rude not to give a present.

Is this a joke?
You showed up half way through a party, no gift and no card?
Are you from Earth?

You made three

no card

no gift

forgetting and turning up half way through

I hardly ever bring a present. They're normally whole class affairs, and who really wants thirty presents?

I being a present if the birthday kid is a close friend.

We always bring a card though.

They won't necessarily be spoken about at all, maybe by rude people perhaps but not everyone would be so nasty and spiteful.

I also think this is a reverse.

Nobody is this rude. Turning up without a gift or card is one thing, but not arriving on time is quite another. I’m guessing there was no RSVP either?

You got there halfway through and didn't bring a gift? They shouldn't of bothered inviting you. They probably won't in future

Yes obviously birthday invitations the standard etiquette is to bring a gift

Relax everyone. The sneering tone her isnt helpful or kind.

People make blunders all the time. Reeellllaaaax! None of this matters. In 100 years we will all be gone anyway.

OP just pop around w a present and own it. Dont lie or make excuses. You forgot and it wasnt intentional and you want to make sure the child had a present. Just say that.

All this leaving on doorsteps etc isnt necessary. Approach it with kindness and it'll be fine.

This is a valuable lesson. For OP it will be to be more organised. For the parents of the child it will be a lesson is accepting peoplr wont always conform to ones expectations.

The cause of our misery is our demands things be different to how they are, not the forgotten present or card.

Be kind to yourself OP.

Me too.
It is generally considered a bit of a faux pas but not to the extent of taking a present round after the event. If you didn't bring one with you, for whatever reason, I'd leave it at that. it wouldn't bother me if someone turned up to a party of mine or my child's without a present, even if it's the norm to bring one.

It's not compulsory. I've always told dd not to expect presents and it's nicer for someone to come with no present than not come because they're embarrassed they can't afford to bring one. That aside, if it's not a question of fnanaces I would send something in on Monday.

I don't want to be harsh and everyone else has covered the several faux pas you made but make sure you always respond to invitations to say whether your child will be attending. (Seems obvious but so does the present) Also, update if you accept and then can't make it.

I mean it was a total shambles from start to finish really, so the lack of present is just part of it! Turning up halfway through empty-handed is pretty bad. A day late and a dollar short, as the saying goes. But no one died.