To pull DC out of school for 6 months and go to New York?

[Avalive]

Hi all. I have 3 DC, DS7, DS4 and DD18months.

I’m a SAHM (plan was to go back to work PT when DD was 2/2.5 and in nursery/childminder).

DS1 has had a tough school life so far, he was getting bullied but school weren't doing anything about it and then when he hit back one day he was the one who got into trouble even though the bullying had gone on for months. I Know hitting isn’t great but I wasn’t happy about just him being punished. We moved schools and he’s been really unsettled and been saying he doesn’t want to go. This school is also a not great school in general but the better schools in the area and slightly further away unfortunately had no spaces.

DS2 has started reception at the same school and is doing okayish but could he doing better.

DH has been offered a 6 months contract in new york, expenses paid etc including accommodation, he can either go on his own but then potentially not see the DC or me for a long time which they would struggle with as he’s a good involved dad or take them out of school for 6 months and go or not go at all and turn it down.

I’m honestly in 2 minds, part of me thinks it’s a mad idea but another part of me thinks it’s a good opportunity and we’d be mad to turn it down, because he’d get better money etc and we could potentially put the extra money into savings.

Wwyd?

This is correct re summerborn. It has to be agreed before the child starts school.

Is this plan to go this November? How long has your husband had this work placement planned? That's under a month to get everything organised even if the company is providing accommodation? Is it a package for all of your or just him. What about health insurance and visas? Your children will need to be on your husband's dependent visa to be able to attend school.

Absolutely go for it. And put your DCs names on the better schools waiting list, you never know they may have spaces for when you return.

Definitely go to NYC. It might be the boost your kids need, you can choose a good school and sort something better out in the UK if/when you return. No brainer.

Go, you can find a new school when you get back.

Do it 100%!! You may like it and wish to stay for good 😆

GO!! Great experience for you all.

What are you waiting for? Pack your bags and go. Great opportunity for the children, maybe the better schools will have space when you get back or maybe they go back to their present school, but with a whole different outlook. It’s six months, go and enjoy New York.

retired primary school teacher/headteacher here. I'd say go - having first made all the careful checks about visas, health insurance, etc., which other PPs have noted.
For me, the advantages of you+DCs being together with DH for the 6months vastly outweighs the disadvantages of you/SAHM having to manage toddler + two DCs (who are not particularly happy in their school) on your own for 6months. If the two older DCs were very happy in their school, that might make a difference. But they're not.
Families need fathers, so you need to weigh the 'absence of father' against the 'more school upheaval'. (Here I'm taking it for granted that you've got a good DH who's an involved and loving father).
Also, your older two are old enough to have some understanding of what is afoot. Bring them into your family discussions. Allow them their own mental & emotional space about what is about to happen. Treat them as "fully paid up members of the family firm". And, yes, that is obviously within reason & with caveats. They are v young. But they deserve to be consulted and prepared for what is about to happen to their world.

I agree with the PP who recommended tooling up with information about teaching the two older DCs reading with phonics. My own DD did this for her DS - they live abroad & move from country to country. She used the Oxford Reading Scheme. Also, there''s lots on BBC about teaching number / early Maths which is very good.
I've no idea where in UK you live? I'm a Londoner & I found that New York City (Manhattan, Brooklyn) was the most easily understandable city I encountered in the US. If I had to pick anywhere to live in US, it'd be New York. If you understand European cities, you'll be OK in New York. Good luck.

100% go!!

Will you get help with schools from DHs employer? We were on sabbatical at Columbia uni when DS was a preschooler. They paid for accommodation and a Montessori pre school. There were support groups, socials etc. It was great as a short term thing.

Neighbours of ours have family in Spain. They took their 7 year old out 'for a year' to visit. That was 2024 and they haven't come back yet. Similar school woes here for her.

On a light note, if they attend school you may need proof they have had chicken pox. Our DS hadn't, so had to be vaccinated in order to attend pre school.

Now this fascinates me. One of the reasons we didn't want to stay beyond the sabbatical was that summer was way too hot. Loved Sept-April, May-Aug too hot

Going in less than a month? Are visas for all five of you even achievable in that time frame?

Do it! Kids are young enough to miss UK school

Every person I've known in my adult life that had regular school moves hated it. Some still have issues with making connections because they think no friendship will last.
All those saying great for museums etc.
Will this happen through a harsh NY winter?
Home schooling. Will this mean the eldest will not want to go back to a formal setting he is already struggling with?
Are they at an age that they will remember the experience for life or is it more for you? We immersed ours in Vientiane life once as under 8s and as adults they remember chasing pigeons around St Mark's Square from the experience.
What will the demands be on your husband. That deal could involve long hours and stress. There might not be much down time for family experiences. Work culture is different in USA to UK.
Will you have enough space and disposable income to really enjoy NY as a family and is sacrificing the saving potential worth the experience?
All things to seriously consider.

I would go for it what a great experience for all.

New York is soooo expensive.

The full touristy experience maybe, but living there with some help from employer is cheaper than London. Plus a lot of real must do things aren't expensive

Absolutely go. Its an exciting opportunity

Oh my god, do it. The kids don’t sound particularly settled where they are. Go and have an adventure.

Definitely go, it will be a great adventure with great memories. Just make sure your visa’s are on point!

You can't just refuse to leave a country if neither the OP or her husband have jobs once his contract has gone in 6 months.

There's two very clear mentalities on here, one is 'screw the kids, screw the consequences just do it because you want to do it OP' and the other is imploring the OP to consider potential impacts and having to repair the damage they may do!

It's ok spinning a fairytale where the OP home schools and her and 3 young kids wander NYC alone! Like others have said there's a difference between having one child to homeschool and having 3 of very different ages - the realities of that have to be considered!

I've been to NYC with my partner, we stayed in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It was a great trip but believe me it feels unnerving walking the streets knowing people carry guns! There was shootings not too far from our apartment whilst we were there, you hear sirens through the night and it's eerie. We were nervous walking past groups of guys stood on the streets because we worried they might think we were looking at them the wrong way and pull a gun out their waistband. I wouldn't want to be wandering around NYC alone with 3 very young kids - I think it will be more daunting than the OP realises!
And god forbid the kids do get enrolled into a school there and a shooting happens.

What if Iran decided to state another massive 9/11 scale terror attack in NYC - it's great place for a week's holiday but a lot more unnerving to stay for half a year.

Does the offer give any funding for housing, schooling, healthcare etc? All of which are expensive in US. You woukd be moving to and fro mid year which is not great as far as integration either way is concerned and others may think of you as too temporary to both getting to know you. Is there a HE network? Think about your return, school places could be difficult to secure, even for September. What plans do you have for your property as you might need specialist insurance if left unoccupied and short term rental could prove tricky.

Six months could become something longer and more permanent. The people I know who've done stuff like that haven't regretted it. I think it will give you all an enriching experience.

I think the devil is in the detail. My DH got offered a job in Belgium. We were happy to move there but suddenly they weren't prepared to support our move at a "local" level. They wanted everything to be as an ex-pat but not support any of the costs involved. And suddenly they were only prepared to support my DH being there and not his family. If the Company are willing to provide (or support financially) accomodation, moving costs and healthcare then it's worth considering. Otherwise it's probably not doable.