To pull DC out of school for 6 months and go to New York?

[Avalive]

Hi all. I have 3 DC, DS7, DS4 and DD18months.

I’m a SAHM (plan was to go back to work PT when DD was 2/2.5 and in nursery/childminder).

DS1 has had a tough school life so far, he was getting bullied but school weren't doing anything about it and then when he hit back one day he was the one who got into trouble even though the bullying had gone on for months. I Know hitting isn’t great but I wasn’t happy about just him being punished. We moved schools and he’s been really unsettled and been saying he doesn’t want to go. This school is also a not great school in general but the better schools in the area and slightly further away unfortunately had no spaces.

DS2 has started reception at the same school and is doing okayish but could he doing better.

DH has been offered a 6 months contract in new york, expenses paid etc including accommodation, he can either go on his own but then potentially not see the DC or me for a long time which they would struggle with as he’s a good involved dad or take them out of school for 6 months and go or not go at all and turn it down.

I’m honestly in 2 minds, part of me thinks it’s a mad idea but another part of me thinks it’s a good opportunity and we’d be mad to turn it down, because he’d get better money etc and we could potentially put the extra money into savings.

Wwyd?

Personally I’d go, your eldest isn’t really settled right now anyway, and I guess there’s every chance his contract gets extended and you can stay there longer. Definitely need to make sure there’s enough for you all to live on and explore the area and make the most of it. It could be a great opportunity and if it’s not they’re young enough to come home and settle back in

Was thinking the same thing. There’s a risk you might only get into a worse school or one that’s further away when you return.

If you can afford it go!

Disruption, not distribution!

What's the plan for when you come back in six months and the school is still shit? I'd only go if you had a solid return plan that's an improvement on what you're not happy with at the moment, ie their school, because six months will go in a flash.

If you don't enjoy NY, then coming back after the trip to a shit school situation will just feel like a massive disruption you could have avoided. If you do enjoy NY it will be a total bummer to come back to a sub par situation. Make a solid return plan and go for it. Don't use it as an avoidance tactic.

I wouldn’t because I dislike New York, it’s incredibly depressing with so many high rises and no light, plus everyone seems angry all the time. It has none of the joy and beauty of London or Paris etc. And America is so tense and miserable right now.

I’d focus on getting your kids settled in new schools here. People romanticize New York, it’s just another big, loud, expensive city.

I would do it. 6 months to explore and go to museums and be together as a family. I think the impact on education would be minimal and as your child isn’t happy in school anyway this will give you all a reset.

The thing is their current school isn’t great academic wise, but it was the only school with space as the better schools are oversubscribed, when a neighbour found out about them going to the current school I was warned as it has a reputation of it not being great and high staff turnover etc

I could homeschool in that time using the oak academy and probably get them ahead of what they would be if they stayed in the current school but I’m also aware I likely wouldn’t be thinking of home schooling if it wasn’t for this opportunity

It’s 6 months from November 1st until April so they’d likely finish their current school at half term, we’d come back in April and I could continue homeschooling til september and hopefully there’ll be a better school though I know I can’t bank on it. DS2 is also a summer born so could I perhaps defer and he redo reception for the social side, But i’m also aware he could get bored if he’s learnt most of the things school are doing

For me this would be a no brainer. I would go in a heartbeat. There are definitely other parts of the US I wouldn't go to for 6 months, but NYC isn't one of them.

Your kids are so young still. Where I'm from (Sweden) you don't even start school until you are 6/7 and they all turn out just fine.

It sounds like more turbulence for them, I personally wouldn't as I had several school charges as a child and it definitely made me very unsettled.

I have taken mine out so similar ages for DH extended work trip but it was a place I really wanted to go and was great for DC - don't know New York or what it is like for kids so not sure about that part. Had a fantastic time with them and they got so much out of it although they were actually pretty happy at school and settled back in again really quickly. Would you all be able to go visa wise?

@Avalive I‘d go if I were you. We lived in Manhattan for a year with young children. Message me if you want some info. The older kids started kindergarten and pre-school there. We‘ve made wonderful memories and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I think it’s a chance for yours to get a break and a clean slate.

I’d do it but with a view to getting them into a better school in September 27. My dc missed reception due to being in the USA (much longer than 6 months) and it was fine, I just checked the curriculum and homeschooled do they exceeded expectations for the year they were entering. But, big but you need good health insurance not just travel insurance for dc, a suitable visa which probably means applying to the embassy and it’s rather late to be applying, and his employer should be paying for suitable family accommodation

We moved to and from the states pretty regularly when I was a kid. I absolutely loved it. 6 months is a bit short to settle a family and your DH could absolutely go and fly back regularly if you stayed but I'd definitely take the opportunity to do something so interesting while the kids are still small.

I can’t think of many things more stressful than spending that length of time in a busy city with three young kids while my DH was working, but if you’re the type of person who’d enjoy it, now’s the time to do it. Any older than 7 and I’d say no way.

Absolutely go for it!

I'd go, it'll be a great experience for them. We went to the US for a year when my children were 8, 6 and 3 and had a brilliant time. We went to museums, days trips all sorts that we would have never had the chance to experience if we hadn't gone. And my kids caught up pretty quickly when we returned.

I’m biased as I live in New York and my kids grew up here but DO IT. It will change your kids’ outlook on life forever, show them a different world.

Just make sure you have the correct visas to be here for more than 90 days and if you want to put your kids in school then that will be a different visa too. In addition, make sure you have health (not travel) insurance.

Do it! If you home school you'll have lots of amazing places to visit that will be enriching for the DC.

I'd need to know loads more about the total package before saying yay or nay (but don't say on here...way too intrusive) You do need to know what kind of home would be funded, what the salary and expenses would be...stuff like who would fund your utilities and so on. We did similar (no kids though) to NJ but some 26 years ago on a massively lavish package. One thing I do remember is that if you want to eat UK style (ie not a load of crap) it will be expensive. We got a one week "go and look around" trip before we had to say a firm yea or nay. One thing you should bear in mind is that I found there was a shedload of stuff you won't find out about until you live there...some good...some interesting.. maybe some really difficult..so you need to be open to bumps in the road. I wouldn't give it a no out of hand though, although it didn't work out for us.

Do it!

What have you got to lose?
Assuming health care for family provided - zero. You have absolutely nothing to lose as none of you are enjoying the current experience.

Grab the opportunity, ensure on school waiting lists and fingers crossed they might have bumped up the list sufficiently for your return.

Life is short.

Go.

Go! If your children were happy and totally settled in an over subscribed school I can see why you may hesitate about taking them out and potentially not getting their places back but as that doesn’t seem to be the case definitely take the opportunity.

My fear would be losing places in schools, doesn’t sound like an issue. Great adventure, go for it.

Do it.
DS1 sounds unhappy anyway and you don’t like the current school. NY is super child friendly, loads of stuff to do and an unforgettably brilliant and formative experience for both boys-as opposed to 6 months of being unsettled anyway missing their dad? You’ll be there for Christmas!