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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think a couple moving into in a five bedroom house is selfish?

871 replies

activedough · 02/10/2026 20:05

AIBU here??

I’ve noticed that a couple have recently moved into a 5 bed detached property in my area. They don’t have any children…

I honestly don’t understand it. Why on earth would two people need five bedrooms?! Surely a house that size should be going to a family who actually needs the space?

It just seems incredibly selfish to me when there are families struggling to find suitable homes.

OP posts:
AnonyMumAuDHD · 03/10/2026 00:03

Summersongroses · 03/10/2026 00:00

Gosh. I live in a 3 bed terrace house. And there’s just me. Should I live in a 1 bed flat???

Indeed, you are very selfish and ought really to be living in a festival tent in your back garden, using an old bucket and the garden water supply for your needs. That way a far more deserving family can live in your home.

According to the marxists lurking on this thread tonight, anyway.

PigeonsAmongstTheCats · 03/10/2026 00:05

We're a couple with no children and live in a 4 bedroom house. I don't really see how or why it could be selfish as we chose to buy it from the open market and there was nothing stopping a family from buying it.

We sleep separately due to disability so that's 2 bedrooms. One is an office and the other is a dressing room which doubles as a spare bedroom.

We ultimately wanted a detached house, and where we wanted to buy that meant a 4 or 5 bedroom house.

Fortuity · 03/10/2026 00:05

activedough · 02/10/2026 20:15

They look like they’re in their late 20s so I very much doubt they have adult kids boomeranging!!

Oh, well, if they're in their late 20s there is absolutely no chance that they might be hoping to have children who will need the bedrooms.

Oh, wait ....

Swimforthewin08 · 03/10/2026 00:08

Oh fgs. You have no idea about their lives have you?! They would be entitled to buy a 10 bed if they wanted! You are clearly jealous.

Happyjoe · 03/10/2026 00:10

AnonyMumAuDHD · 02/10/2026 23:45

I love the idea of using some space to foster rescue cats - or acquire one or two more. All that space to roam!!

When my kids were younger I ran an after-school child minding business from home (which was how I ended up fostering two boys) - it was lovely to have the house full of kids and dogs. I was a guider/scout leader at the time and had lots of energy back then. No way could I do that again now.

I’ve been re landscaping the garden in recent years to attract butterflies and pollinators and been delighted with the results this year. Our house may be large, but we’ve filled it will lots of kids and memories over the years - am hoping there’ll be more if we’re blessed with grandkids one day. Otherwise… more dogs!

That sounds wonderful! Loads of happy memories full of love and laughter :-)

Girlintheframe · 03/10/2026 00:19

Why on earth do you care?

TheDenimPoet · 03/10/2026 00:23

A house is free for anyone to buy. If a couple with more children didn't for it, presumably they didn't want it (or couldn't afford it).

My partner and myself both work from home, he has an adult son who regularly visits (enough to warrant a permanent bed in the box room for him), and I have elderly grandparents who I would love to offer a home to. If I had the money I'd go out and buy a 5 bed, and on paper there's only two of us at the moment as well.

TheDenimPoet · 03/10/2026 00:25

CremeDeMure · 02/10/2026 20:13

Unless they are being state funded to move in there, it is nothing to do with you.

Do you think couples should move house when their kids grow up ane leave home?

Maybe they plan to have kids? Or have big house parties. Or both work from home and have home office each? Or a hobby room each? Any number of reasons that are still none of your business.

Even if they ARE state funded, it's STILL nothing to do with her!

Happyd · 03/10/2026 00:40

Maybe they have bought it thinking of the future with children .. anyhow it’s none of your business!!

MorphandMindy · 03/10/2026 00:40

An estate agent actually asked me that when we were looking at our last home (just DH and I). "'What are the two of YOU going to do with all those rooms?!" It felt like the weirdest question to me and I may have just stared at him, as I didn't want to be rude and say the thing that was on my mind, which was "Fill them up with people and things, of course!"

(We worked from home there and we had both of our children in the period we lived there. We didn't move out because of lack of space, we moved because of school catchment areas shrinking!)

RoobarbsCustard · 03/10/2026 00:44

activedough · 02/10/2026 20:05

AIBU here??

I’ve noticed that a couple have recently moved into a 5 bed detached property in my area. They don’t have any children…

I honestly don’t understand it. Why on earth would two people need five bedrooms?! Surely a house that size should be going to a family who actually needs the space?

It just seems incredibly selfish to me when there are families struggling to find suitable homes.

Surely a house that size should be going to a family who actually needs the space?

What do you mean by ‘going to’ a family that needs more space? I mean, presumably if it was for sale, larger families had the same opportunity as the couple to buy it?

SheilaWilde · 03/10/2026 00:47

I live in a 12 bedroom castle with 4 dogs, 5 cats and a goat. I’m keeping the extra bedroom as a guest room incase I have a guest.
Also, I noticed David from work buying 8! cans of sweetcorn tonight, I know he lives alone and is in his 30’s. It’s just pure selfishness on his part. I don’t like sweetcorn but Jackie from number 65 does, although, luckily, there were still 78 cans left on the shelf.

XenaSharples · 03/10/2026 00:51

They should give it to a couple who had more children than they could afford.

LondonLass2026 · 03/10/2026 00:54

My God, mind your own business and get on with your own life!

SorryNotSorry00 · 03/10/2026 00:59

This post is either rage bait, attention seeking or reeking of jealousy.

However seeing as I’m sick to death of seeing this begrudging jealous mentality here in Ireland, I’ll join in.

This couple have every right to buy or rent a 50 bedroom house if they see fit seeing as they’re presumably doing so with their own money. It’s not their business or fault that “families with kids” are in need of housing, they didn’t make these kids. If you have a problem with that I suggest you get out more, find a hobby and stop begrudging strangers enjoyment of their hard earned money and what they spend it on.

Oxo01 · 03/10/2026 01:02

SpiritAdder · 02/10/2026 20:07

Maybe she’s pregnant with triplets. Maybe they have aging parents who will need to move in. Maybe their adult DCs are boomeranging home with partners and grandkids. Maybe they want to run a B&B.

Nunya

All of these or they are going to Foster or Adopt.

ThatHangryRubyReader · 03/10/2026 01:02

Imagine not being happy for someone else because you think they dont deserve it. WOW You must have no life.

DesperateforSunshine · 03/10/2026 01:03

What is this madness? I live in a 9bed with 8bathrooms and a 5bed annex with land and a pool and tennis courts. Who cares? I paid for it and pay enormous amount of tax and council tax

CanadianJohn2 · 03/10/2026 01:09

I fully agree with you, Comrade activedough, and I commend you for your vigilance. Report this couple to your Block Captain, who I am sure will refer it to you neighbourhood Commissar.

HoppingPavlova · 03/10/2026 01:15

activedough · 02/10/2026 20:24

It’s bedrooms PLUS 2-3 sitting rooms, 3 if you count the conservatory.

And? What’s the problem? It’s very easy to use all that space. I don’t understand the issue unless it’s a council house and they have been allocated this as a couple, then I disagree. Otherwise if a family wanted the house, a family would have purchased the house.

InterIgnis · 03/10/2026 01:17

Oxo01 · 03/10/2026 01:02

All of these or they are going to Foster or Adopt.

Maybe they want a variety of themed sex rooms.

Mommywomb · 03/10/2026 01:18

Sorry to say but you seem like a very jealous person! You don’t know their circumstances and it is none of your business either. If the bigger family wanted it, the house must be on market so they could have. I feel you live in a small house may be and just jealous of them being able to afford it as a couple.

symmetrymaybe · 03/10/2026 01:20

They bought it just to annoy you. They overheard you in the supermarket talking about an old lady who bought a whole mince pie for herself.

Boreded · 03/10/2026 01:22

SpiritAdder · 02/10/2026 20:07

Maybe she’s pregnant with triplets. Maybe they have aging parents who will need to move in. Maybe their adult DCs are boomeranging home with partners and grandkids. Maybe they want to run a B&B.

Nunya

Or both work from home which wipes out 2 bedrooms as offices

HoppingPavlova · 03/10/2026 01:23

Oxo01 · 03/10/2026 01:02

All of these or they are going to Foster or Adopt.

Or maybe they don’t plan to have kids at all.

DH and I have plans for when our kids are all out.
Craft room for me; Hobby room for him; Library room; Office room with 101 3D printers (yes, we are arguing over this as I think >1 is excessive, whereas DH thinks numerous are essential); Spare room. I also have plans to redecorate one lounge completely to my taste and it will be ‘mine’ and he can have the other🙃, and we can also have a ‘clean’ sitting space without household crap spread everywhere in case people come over for coffee/a wine to avoid the rush clean up before people arrive. In short, none of this would be anyone else’s business just as the house OP is talking about is none of their business.