To put toddler outside so I can calm down

[brokendownagain26]

My 2 yo has been screaming at me all morning resulting in me being late, very flustered and stressed. I stayed patient until I didn’t and lost it, put him outside so I couldn’t hear the screams. But I’m just so fucked off

Its not unreasonable to want distance from your toddler - put them in a bedroom/playroom. Outside doesn't seem all that safe imo.

That doesn't seem ideal. A few minutes in another room is understandable, or even you stepping into the garden while they're in a space place. Shutting them outside seems punitive and not safe.

I can still hear them screaming if they are in the house though so that’s pointless and they follow me anyway.

Are you at home alone with him? Do you get some time to yourself at all? It’s hard this age!

Outside where?

Sympathy. I wouldn't put them outside, what if someone sees/hears them and reports you to SS? Put them somewhere safe in the house. Have you tried ear defenders?

Keep telling yourself this phase will pass.

My son used to have the most horrific meltdowns so I empathize.

It was only years later I realised the off switch was just to give him a cuddle. May be obvious advice but if you haven't tried it, do.

If it’s in an enclosed garden it’s fine !

So YOU go in the garden not your child. Every body needs a time out sometimes but you leave the situation after making sure your child is safe not just locking them out. How sad for your child

Home with my other child and him yes.

If it’s not too cold or hot or pouring rain and the outside space is secure and childproof then you take your 5 mins. I have reached points of disassociation and shut down with DD before although I left her screaming in a room in the house rather than outside. If it will prevent you from doing or saying something you will regret then take 5 minutes, regulate yourself.

And he may also find hes regulated in that time too. With DD I discovered that the best thing with tantrums is to let it happen. No point trying to reason with her through the red mist. I let her scream and kick and flail around on the floor, but I’m present so she doesn’t feel abandoned (this is not when I am about to lose my own shit though). When she’s calm I speak softly and we have a cuddle.

Good luck. Toddlers are built different and people with angelic toddlers who don’t have tantrums or who don’t have their own sensory or regularisation issues will never relate.

Still in my underwear or I would have. And the screaming meant I just can’t think where my clothes are. I mean it’s just been going on since 515, I’ve got an awful headache, I know he’s probably really tired as this has been going on for ages but won’t go back to sleep so not sure what else I can do.

I assume the garden is safe and enclosed. Being outside might well make them calm down if they decide to run about getting rid of their energy or whatever. If the OP is letting them play by the main road then that's obviously more of an issue.
For some children they're actually safer outside than inside. If OP goes in the garden what's to stop the child climbing and getting to things like cleaning fluids or electric sockets.

Enclosed yes … he did calm down but I’m still stressed and worked up and we’re probably now sort of winding one another up. Horrible shitty morning.

Still going through this stuff with a 9yo in my family. It's truly sh*t. You have my sympathies OP. I know this day will get better for you❤️

Fine to put him in his bedroom or something for a timeout but bit harsh to put him outside. I hope he had a coat on. I think you should be the one to go outside to calm down.

Won't help now but I did find one technique that worked with my toddler. They expect a certain reaction from you so with mine I got on his level and whispered at him. It wasn't the reaction that he expected and he just stopped straight away and looked at me. It was enough to break up the constant screaming for long enough that I could bring him down from whatever mundane thing he was stropping about.

Keep going, two year olds are an arse.

What were you late for? Work? Hospital appt? Are you generally in a stressful situation (aside from screaming toddler)? You say you are both still winding each other up - in what way?

When all else fails, get dressed, get out, go for a walk or similar (together!). Re-set.

Proper ear defenders, as used by people who work with chainsaws and the like. And a baby gate or half-height stable door type thing to keep them in one room where there's toys etc and nothing they could injure themselves on. Give attention when they communicate sensibly in words (or just get a bit quieter); no attention if it's just screaming.

It’s quite warm here. I would have but had no clothes on. One of the problems was I couldn’t do what he wanted as too much screaming.

Leave him in his cot or put him in a play pen. You can’t just put a toddler outside on their own.

Is there something exciting to play with in the enclosed garden? Could you let him out to play with a climbing frame or car and watch from the window with a cup of tea.?

we have neither

Personally I would have put the TV on rather than shut him outside. Do you think that would work next time? I think being shut outside could be scary for a 2yo.

The TV was on, but he doesn’t really watch it tbh. He sort of will but only if you sit down and watch it with him and not when he’s in a mood like that.