AIBU to ask for one weekly lie-in with the baby?

[Anouser127128]

partner thinks I’m being unreasonable because I’ve asked for a long lie one day a week on his days off, he barely helps with baby during night I could count on one hand and exclusively pump reason was so he could help.
but since baby has been born he’s had all the long lies and said he might get more sleep than me but doesn’t mean it’s better
baby wakes every 1.5hrs after the first 4 hour stretch and I can’t go to bed then as have an older child also, I’m exhausted every single day he also gets 2 hrs uninterrupted sleep in mornings before he goes to gym also then work later on in day

What a waste of space he is. YANBU, OP.

Oh god these shitty men! 🙈🙈

It's obviously not helpful now but why do women continue to shack up and breed with such useless fuckers??

Of course it's not unreasonable! The only unreasonable part is that you haven't already completely lost your shit and kicked him out of the bed every Saturday morning!

These posts drive me crazy

The baby is a joint responsibility and your need for sleep is equally as important as his

Therefore on a weekend you should both get a lie in!

If he refuses tell him you will check into a hotel for a night

I’m guessing your DH also does nothing house/cooking or child-care related. You’d be wise to go back to work as soon as your maternity leave is over and make plans to separate. The amount of useless men out there is staggering.

This is the man that's supposed to love you. A lot of couples I know took it in turns to get a lie in at the weekend, one on the Saturday, one on the Sunday. You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

You definitely deserve some sleep time.
For us, DH absolutely struggles with early mornings way more than me. So I got up, and about 9am kicked him out of bed. He then took the kids out for the morning, gave them lunch, and i just slept (unless one was small enough to need me for milk, when they git brought to me before more sleep for me). Traditional? No. Worked for us. Now Night owl DH does the late night ternage collections.

So, YANBU to want a chunk of sleep. A lie in may or may not be the best route.

So you are both exhausted. Then you tell him that you alternate lie-ins. No arguing. I cannot quite understand how he cannot see that. I am angry on your behalf.

The idea of a hotel for the night sounds like a good idea tbh. You have got to start getting him used to doing stuff rather than "mummy is the default".

You have to stand up for yourself if only to support your children in getting a stronger bond with their father. (Actually for your sanity but tell him that).

Also you need to loosen your bond. Just go off for a run or go to get your nails done - away from the house so he has to muddle through, just like you did in the early days. When you come back bite your tongue if anything has been done differently to you.

Guessing older child isn't his?
Has he ever done much to help or does he do other things that you aren't mentioning?

I mean if he has never helped within the home or stepped in to help with your eldest I am not sure why you suddenly thought he would be winning dad of the year with his own child.

is the older child his ? I’d be off to stay elsewhere once a week. Twat.

Was he absolutely fucking useless before you got pregnant?

He doesn’t help with house work but that’s fine but he is an amazing dad other wise and older son isn’t his but you would never know he’s been a step dad to him for around 5 years it’s just around the who’s more tired and it’s always him, I tell him I’m exhausted and you can tell by looking at me but he needs his sleep more apparently

He is a amazing dad it’s just the more sleep, he thinks because he works he needs it more basically

An ‘amazing’ dad doesn’t treat the mother of his children like this.

What a useless bastard. I exclusively breastfed my three babies so I did /do all night feeds. If my husband isn’t working at the weekends he gets up at 6am with the three children and does breakfast etc one of the days, and I’ll sleep in until 9/10am or so or whenever baby needs milk.
you both need to give each other rests. Sounds like he’s getting all the rest. Plus some me-time at the gym, which I’ll bet you’re not getting either.
and you’re doing all the extra work of pumping and washing bottles so he can help and he’s not even helping ?! I would be raging.

So what does he actually do then that makes him amazing?
As he doesn't help with housework, doesn't help at night and doesn't sound like he gives you time to do anything as he is busy at the gym or work.

Define amazing dad? You said he’s not keeping the house for the children. Does he cook? Does he run them around to their clubs? Shoe and clothes shopping? Help with homework? Etc.

if you are defining amazing father as someone who plays with them, isn’t violent and earns a wage that’s not amazing it’s only half of the basics

He’s not an amazing Dad - he sounds useless. He’s not supporting you raise them or contributing to running the home.

Is he doing the laundry for the family, doing the clearing up at the end of the day, prepping the meals, taking the children out for the day to give you a break?

He’s clearly not an amazing dad. Or husband. If he was, you wouldn’t have posted.

What makes him so amazing, exactly? He doesn't sound it.

He’s not an amazing dad. The bare minimum of a father is to model good behaviour and I don’t think good behaviour is leaving all the housework and childcare to the mother. What sort of example is that?

I have 3 kids and since the first was a baby we have done saturday lie in for me, sunday lie in for him. Until 9am, then get up and help out. None negotiable.

Tell him that is what is going to happen. If he wakes you before 9am on your saturday, wake hima t exactly the same time on his sunday. He'll soon learn.

Sounds like a useless prick. Glad he's not mine.
Do remember his 'help' if you're considering any more. You only get more tired with each addition. And his type rarely get less like a prick.

He can’t be an amazing dad if he thinks he needs all the extra sleep going, and you have hardly any.

That’s not amazing as it puts your kids in danger to be cared for by an absolutely exhausted Mum.

Been quite pleasant to your child when he’s around them doesn’t make him amazing

Similar set up in my house. It’s fair and everyone gets a crack on the extra sleep. Depending what we both have on which way around it is but either way we both get a lie in each weekend