AIBU to think they were overreacting to my initial necklace?

[NamesOnANecklace]

I was at a meal with family and friends of family yesterday. I wore a necklace with my partners and children’s initials on.

A friend of the family asked what the initials were for an I told her, although as she knows my partners and children’s names, I think she already knew. She asked why I would have my partners initial and went on a rant about not needing to be owned and that he hadn’t even married me and given me a ring, yet I ‘wear his name on me’. 😳 I said it’s just a necklace, they’re quite popular, I like it and she’s reading too much into it. Later on she started talking about it again with someone else so that I could hear and the other woman was agreeing with her.

What would you think? Do people really see an initial or name of their partner on a piece of jewellery as some sort of ownership and non feminist stance or are these women as strange as I think they are.

I’ll still wear my necklace either way, I just wondered what others thought. I have lots of personalised jewellery, I even have one with my dogs names on.

As for ‘him not marrying me’, that was my choice. We have been together for 25 years and are very happy.

I think that kind of thing can be a sign of abuse or control, or feel a little icky - but then it wouldn't make any difference whether you were married or not, so not sure why she brought that up.

Jewellery with initials/names on it doesn't appeal to me personally, but unless the relationship seems problematic in other ways, I wouldn't think it was an 'ownership' thing. There certainly was no need for her to say anything, and it was weird of her to make a big deal out of it.

You should of said

I also have a tattoo of his name, but i wont show you where that is 😜😉

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but it would have been great if you had just said "not every opinion needs to be shared, Sandra. Sometimes your thoughts on other people's choices are best kept private"

and then changed the subject.

As for the talking about it with the other person, don't sweat it. I have been that other person a few times and all i remember thinking was "cripes what a nasty gossipy person" while feining fake interested "hmmm" sounds.

Why? Is your husband not important to you? Are you one of these people who see him simply as a sperm donor?

It seems very sweet and sentimental to me. It’s not like he branded your bum like a cow.

I wouldn't wear either personally, but wearing your kids' initials makes more sense to me, as you literally made them and they'll always be a part of you. A husband is (and should be) very different to your children, no matter how much you love/adore him.

Does she also think your children own you?
If it was just your partner's initial then maybe at a stretch I could see her point. There are undoubtedly instances of this being an "ownership" thing some men do.

But I wouldn't have thought this was an example of that if it's just an initial and your children's initials are included.

I've seen these necklaces and they can look quite elegant. Which is totally besides the point. I think the main thing is not whether people like it - everyone is an individual, natch - but the fact that someone that is supposedly a friend thought it perfectly fine to be so nasty to your face and then snipe about you in earshot. It's the person, not the necklace, that's the problem IMO.

Edited to correct typo

Is she married or does she wear an engagement ring?

If so, I’d be suggesting she looks into their origin…

I have a necklace that says 'beans' my cats nickname. Would love to see her reaction to that!

Why on earth is she up a height about it 🤣🤣

She sounds crazy! It’s none of her business and to make a comment was really rude.
Wearing personal jewellery like that is clearly because you love & care about the person’s initials on the necklace, not because you own them.
These necklaces are very popular so she would have seen lots of people wearing them, she was just being nasty.

It's a bit of a leap, isn't it? You wear the necklace because you like it and (presumably) you love your partner. She sees it as you being owned by him. Bonkers enough to think that but to say it out loud...

What a strange take from her. I really wouldn’t give it another thought. Definitely a her problem.

Every single piece of jewellery I wear is sentimental from my wedding, engagement and eternity bands, the ring with stones symbolising my children and just other pieces that people I love gave me. I’m just someone who likes to wear jewellery that has meaning.

Same!

Is she early to mid 30s out of interest?

I never thought of getting the cats’ initials on a necklace, this thread has given me ideas! One of them has the same initial as one of the kids though, so I’d be in trouble from DC2.

I’m not really a jewellery person but if one of my friends had her children’s and partner’s initials on a necklace I’d assume it was because they were people she loved? I might feel differently about a necklace with the partner’s initial only, but it still wouldn’t be any of my business 🤷‍♀️

Just press the other option - it changes it.

"Oh don't worry, it's only temporary until my tattoo appointment comes around. I won't wear the necklace after that."

She sounds bonkers and your necklace sounds lovely.

😂😂😂

I too wear a necklace with my husbands and child’s initials on. It just gives the necklace more meaning.

It’s not for everyone and it’s a personal choice.

I would never think to question someone wearing one similar.

I have my children & husbands name tattooed on me….

A piece of jewellery is nothing compared to that 😆

I honestly don’t even look at other people’s jewellery 🤷‍♀️ and don’t have an opinion on it.

I see I'm not the only one who thought @NamesOnANecklace should get a Fuck Off Judgey Pants on a necklace to wear whenever she sees her lovely critic..
Come on OP.. will you dare? 😂

Yes it males no sense but you like it so why on earth does it matter

Why do people care so much when other people' have opinions if it works for you then just get on with it

Some women!
Marriage is old fashioned