AIBU to think they were overreacting to my initial necklace?

[NamesOnANecklace]

I was at a meal with family and friends of family yesterday. I wore a necklace with my partners and children’s initials on.

A friend of the family asked what the initials were for an I told her, although as she knows my partners and children’s names, I think she already knew. She asked why I would have my partners initial and went on a rant about not needing to be owned and that he hadn’t even married me and given me a ring, yet I ‘wear his name on me’. 😳 I said it’s just a necklace, they’re quite popular, I like it and she’s reading too much into it. Later on she started talking about it again with someone else so that I could hear and the other woman was agreeing with her.

What would you think? Do people really see an initial or name of their partner on a piece of jewellery as some sort of ownership and non feminist stance or are these women as strange as I think they are.

I’ll still wear my necklace either way, I just wondered what others thought. I have lots of personalised jewellery, I even have one with my dogs names on.

As for ‘him not marrying me’, that was my choice. We have been together for 25 years and are very happy.

Reading that back, it sounds even more ridiculous. 😬😅

It's not something I'd choose to wear but each to their own.

You think you have problems? I have my cats’ initials on a silver chain.

Tell that rude wagon that not only have you a charm of his initial, but you have ‘Dwayne’ (your secret sexy nickname for DP) tattooed across your coccyx. 🤣

She really wants you to be married, eh

Is her own marriage a happy one?

It's usually the unhappy women that hate unmarried mothers

Get a necklace with 'fuck off judgy pants' on it to wear next time you see her.

What? People wearing jewellery as a visible sign of commitment to a long term partner?! Shocking. 😆

They were being ridiculous.

I have jewellery with names and initials on, anything from my partners name to my pets. My partner has a chain with mine and our children’s initials on too.

I think in these circumstances, a good solid “what’s it got to do with you?” would have been appropriate.

Oh tell her to do one. The terminally over-invested-in-who’s-got-what brigade. Your necklace sounds lovely (as does the one with the cat’s initial; it made me smile) x

Your friend is being ridiculous. I'm married and I kept my own surname. I asked my husband to buy me a necklace with 3 hearts with his name and my 2 kids names inscribed on it. It's nothing to do with ownership. They are my family who I love and it's nice to have jewelry that has meaning attached. Might not to be to everyone's taste but the world would be a very boring place if we all liked the same things.

I don't see them as an ownership issue but I do think they're naff and tacky. I'd never have said anything to you in person though.

Why do you even need to say that on here? OP didn’t ask whether you thought they were tacky or naff. I think you would get on with those women well, getting little digs in to make yourself feel better. 😂🤡

It would be only problematic if he was forcing you to wear a necklace with his name on it.

She sounds extremely rude.

Turn it back on her "why are you wearing a wedding ring, doesn't that signify that a man owns you, because you don't have to wear one you know", "why have you taken your DH's surname (if she has), why do you need to be 'owned' by him?" make her see how ridiculous her words are.

ooh but you couldn't help yourself getting a little dig in here though could you!

You'd have proved her point though, because we all know we are owned by cats.

Why won’t you marry him?

I have a bracelet with DH's and DC's initials. I don't feel it is indicative of any ownership. However, we're also married so your relative might think it's ok? I think they are a loon.

There are some people who huff and puff about women being proud of being called Mrs, or of enjoying signing their married name and having the same name for their whole family. There are some who moan about Miss Marple not being changed to Ms, instead of realising there's more than one way to be proud of yourself as a woman, and that you don't necessarily have to get married to be an impressive person, and some people are very proud to use Miss and prefer not to marry/use Ms.
Ignore them! Your choice. Some people tattoo their names, which I wouldn't, but it's a choice, and you could see what they say if you tell them you're considering that, if you want to be petty.

Something shes unhappy about in her own relationship is at the root of that little tantrum I think.

I’d probably feel a bit weird about this because I was in a really controlling relationship at uni (he had retroactive jealously OCD) and he got me a necklace with his name on which became the bane of my life (would make me send photos of me wearing it if I was out and would cause a scene if I wasn’t wearing it etc). I wouldn’t ask you about it or berate you for it though. Each to their own, I’d probably just keep a close eye on you in case 😂

I've skewed the voting as I dropped my phone and accidentally hit YABU.
It's not proof of ownership, it's love. Maybe she's jealous.

Of course she was being ridiculous, judgemental and downright rude and you do not owe her any explanation.
However, if you did want to waste any more time on this individual then perhaps point her towards the wise words of Taylor Swift, in her beautiful song 'Call It What You Want'
"I Want to wear his initials on a chain round my neck, not because he owns me but cause he really knows me."

She sounds absolutely horrible.

I think people who critique other people's choices without being asked to are tacky and naff as well.