AIBU to feel hurt my husband will not visit my gallery display?

[NewAquaHare]

my Art is being displayed for the first time in a gallery which is 2.5hrs drive away. My husband says it’s too far to go and it’s not his thing anyway. AIBU to be upset by his lack of support? If it was the other way round I’d be excited to go and see it. He says it’s my hobby not his.

Can you make a day of it? Really the time to go would've been the launch. Why did you miss that?

That’s amazing OP! Congrats 🥂💖

!!🎉🥳🙌🍾🥂🎊!!

It’s not like you have to just go there and back. You could make a day of it and visit Scarborough, go for food then come home. I don’t think “ I don’t want to” is a reason I’d expect. It would made me rethink the relationship.

Well most of us are excited for you if that helps any.

I'm a professional musician. So is my husband. I go to my husband's (passion/hobby) classic car things and I express the greatest delight and interest in the cars I see there because I love him. I've actually come to learn a lot about classic cars. But I don't actually give a *. But as I said, I love him, I'm proud of him, I love to see him happy with it. He glows. That's wonderful. We've driven 4 or 5 hours for it. Yes, I've already seen the car in our garage. It's not the same. Come on OP. You deserve more.

That’s such a fantastic achievement OP!! I’d go to this if you were my friend, never mind spouse.

He’s a miserable, selfish arse. Presumably not the first time he’s shown you where you rank on his list of priorities!! I hope you use this shining example of his twatishness to rebenchmark how much effort you make for him 😠

I'd have to pin my Bestie to the floor to stop her going to see it and taking me with her..
Even if she hated Art, or my Art, or Galleries or Scarborough, if someone really loves you, they support you, whatever it takes

I totally get that you’re sad he isn’t up for it. It’s disappointing.

However I don’t see why that means you can’t go and celebrate your own success. If he isn’t up for it, is there a friend or another family member who would appreciate an outing to Scarborough? Stay overnight in Whitby, make a weekend of it? It’s a lovely part of the world. The gallery could be part of the trip. Maybe if you reimagine it like that, he might be interested in coming after all.

Not that you should have to do the mental legwork to entice him along!! Which is why I think inviting someone else might be a good way to go.

Congratulations on your gallery display, have a lovely time with your daughter, it will be so good for her to see what mum has achieved. Definitely make an overnight or weekend of it if you can.

He is an arse, I was with one of those for 20+ years, now separated for past 8 years and I so wish I had done it years sooner. Life is too short to pander to self-centred individuals - they never change.

Take your daughter and a friend and have an overnight stay.

Go see your work and get your photo taken next to it. Introduce yourself to the gallery if the owner/manager is there - don’t miss the chance to network.

Plan some lovely meals and make it a really special day.

Well done NewAquaHare, you should be really proud. Don’t let your DH’s miserable, unsupportive attitude let it take the shine off for you. Go with your DD and make a day of it. Let your DD be proud of your accomplishment, you will regret not going but I doubt you’ll regret going. Be proud! You’ve done brilliantly!! 👏 👏 🧑‍🎨

I commented before saying I wouldn't feel like going for so long to just see a picture I had already seen. BUT if I had understood how much it meant to you I would have done it. Have you told him how important this is to you and how much it would mean to you if he went without you?

It’s very unfair and unsupportive of him. You don’t have to do a 5 hour round trip in a day. Book a hotel for a night and make it a whole weekend celebration. I’m sorry he’s not supportive of you and congratulations.

Yes I’d be gutted and he’s being a thoughtless berk who couldn’t care less about your feelings - that’s quite worrying in a relationship.
Honestly my husband would be there in a shot and I would do the same - in fact I’d/we’d probably do the same for family/in-laws, close friends too.
I think you need a serious talk with him when you’re not upset and angry because this seems a tip of a very big iceberg.

I’d be really disappointed if my DH said this to me.

I started a hobby that has turned into a little business, my DH gives up weekends to support me, my DC and DGD have all supported me too.

Take a friend, make a weekend of it.

Congratulations

The fact that it’s in Scarborough makes it even worse if you ask me, 2.5 hours is not much of a drive at all really and you could make a day trip out of it, get fish and chips and an ice cream and a walk down the front. I can’t believe anyone would be so miserable!

Op this is an amazing achievement. To be chosen and have your displayed is fantastic.
I'm sorry your dh is so unsupportive of you and your art. To be hoenst his response would make me really look at the relationship.
As partners we do things for each other that e dont always enjoy. I've been to many football matches that I'm not fussed about but my dh asked me to go with him. We had fun. He a has also done things for me that he wouldn't normally.
Go with your dd and have a greta time

Do go with your daughter!! What a wonderful experience for her seeing her mother’s creation chosen and shown. What a great role model you are for her ❤️

And please don’t let your rubbish ‘D’H make you leave your friends and family out of the trip. I have almost zero interest in art, but if a friend or family member had apiece chosen for an exhibit I wouldn’t hesitate to go (and be disappointed if they didn’t ask). It’s not so much about the art, it’s about a fun day out celebrating you.

A 2.5 hr journey if perfect to learn your DDs music preferences or for a storming audio book 😁

And, CONGRATULATIONS 🍾🎉

That is shit.
Well done, what an achievement having your creativity recognised in that way!
My husband would be down there like a shot, as would most judging from the comments.
Sorry.

What an amazing achievement! Tell your friends and family - I would drive 2.5 hours to meet a friend in Scarborough for the day even without an awesome thing like an award winning painting they had done to see and I would be gutted if I was your friend and you didn’t tell me because you’ve married a fun sponge selfish arsehole who’s knocked your confidence. I hope you and your dd have a lovely time.

What a bad excuse for a human being. Unless he has other more agreeable traits trade him in.

@NewAquaHare this is amazing!

Of course he should go and his reaction would have me questioning the relationship.

go with your daughter and have a lovely weekend. Tell you friends and family and say if anyone would like to join you for a celebration you’re going in X date. I would go for my friends if I could have have a night away. Please don’t him let you dull your achievements. Celebrate it and you!

You must go OP - it's a huge achievement and deserves to be properly celebrated. And during the drive there you'll have the space to consider how much more time and energy you'd have to devote to your art if you binned your miserable, selfish - and probably very jealous - cunt of a husband. The fact that he feels able to spoil such a significant personal milestone is truly despicable. Go and have a fabulous day with your daughter who, I am sure, is bursting with pride in her Mum, and set about disentangling yourself from your resident killjoy.