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AIBU?

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AIBU to worry CMS deductions could push my son into crisis?

337 replies

Wokeuptired · Yesterday 10:56

My son split from his ex almost 2 years ago, they have 2 children together and 1 child that my son brought up as his own, their was lots of drama in the relationship and his ex was very demanding, my son paid her maintenence every month and paid for other things for her like the sky bill and some h/p goods, at the end of last year my son took a very serious attempt at taking his own life and he got sectioned, he obviously couldn't work but his ex was still demanding money from him, In March he got his old job back but he had to save for a deposit and furniture as well as pay for prescriptions food fuel to get to work, he was around £200 short each month and we helped him out with that, during this time his ex refused to let him see the children and he has not seen them since January, he had an upcoming court case to get to see them, as the eldest isn't his biologically he had to get a lawyer to help him as he wants her included.
Now the CMS are involved and they have taken £1700 out of his wages this is £700 for the month and £1000 in back pay as they calculated this from December last year, this leaves my son with around £500 after tax, he can't live on £500 as he can't even cover his rent with that, he has just got himself sorted financially but still owes money.
He doesn't know what he can do as he has phoned CMS and they said it has to be that amount and he explained the situation.
He has been to his boss to see what can be done and if he leaves this job he will break his contract with them and they won't employ him again, he can't go part time and then do work on the side to make the money up.
He just can't afford to work, it's ridiculous as he doesn't want to go on benefits as he also pointed out that it won't help his mental health.
What can he do?
I'm just so worried that he is going to try and end his life again as this seems like a no win situation.

OP posts:
aliceyyyy2654 · Yesterday 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Unfortunately I don’t think mumsnet will do anything about it

Blondeshavemorefun · Yesterday 18:09

Agree the numbers don’t add up

if he didn’t have a job then payment would have been £7 a week while on benefits

I can’t see how he has managed to owe so much money in 2yrs

I would call cms

Plsfindattached · Yesterday 18:23

aliceyyyy2654 · Yesterday 18:09

Unfortunately I don’t think mumsnet will do anything about it

got my post deleted again! Honestly it’s pathetic

Taytosambo · Yesterday 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

My goodness, the sheer audacity of you to say that. You actually stated lies in some of your posts. I don't think it's other posters ruining this thread.

aliceyyyy2654 · Yesterday 18:28

Plsfindattached · Yesterday 18:23

got my post deleted again! Honestly it’s pathetic

Me too 😂 will have to keep quiet and not share my opinion anymore

Plsfindattached · Yesterday 18:35

aliceyyyy2654 · Yesterday 18:28

Me too 😂 will have to keep quiet and not share my opinion anymore

We aren’t alone. Hopefully will eventually rein it in a bit.

ilovebrie8 · Yesterday 19:15

That doesn’t sound right OP. Hope he’s okay, I feel sorry for him and the stress he must be under.

He shouldn’t be left with so little to live on.

bigboykitty · Yesterday 19:17

ilovebrie8 · Yesterday 19:15

That doesn’t sound right OP. Hope he’s okay, I feel sorry for him and the stress he must be under.

He shouldn’t be left with so little to live on.

OP updated to say he'd completely misunderstood the calculations and that isn't the situation.

Wokeuptired · Yesterday 21:43

I'm here in the UK now able with our son, he has got to speak to someone within cms
They have said that they will contact his ex and try to get him to pay directly to her as when payments go through the cms he pays £90 and she gets £90 deducted so the children will be better off by £150 a month, but she has to agree to that.
I have had a few vinos but my son seems calmer and he said he will give her what she says she needs. And we will help him as much as we can, i even messaged her a few months back when we could and said we would always make sure they were OK.

But their are other issues we can not yet talk about as it will harm our sons case.
He will do anything for his children and i think as he was minutes away from ending his life he now realises how precious his life and that of his children are.
Thank you for the posters that have understood his position as he has now read every reply and he has taken it on board

OP posts:
Wokeuptired · Yesterday 21:44

She gets deducted £60, sorry too much wine

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · Yesterday 23:08

She gets £60 deducted from what ?!!!

as I understood that if she happens to claim Universal Credit that CMS is not counted in her figures/calculations.

Theunamedcat · Today 00:11

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · Yesterday 23:08

She gets £60 deducted from what ?!!!

as I understood that if she happens to claim Universal Credit that CMS is not counted in her figures/calculations.

Your charged a fee if they have to get involved its not that much unless your paying a hell of a lot sorry but this entire thread isn't adding up mathematically or otherwise

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