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AIBU?

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Abandoned at 6 weeks pregnant - AIBU to shut down?

358 replies

NattyEagle · Yesterday 14:04

I cannot believe I am typing this but my now ex “partner”of 2 years has given me an ultimatum. Have an abortion and we carry on as a couple, or keep the pregnancy and I will never see his face again. As soon as he said this, we were done!

His initial reaction was apprehensive - I thought it was fair. But I NEVER would have imagined hed do a runner. When I first told him I was pregnant he made it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere - it just wasn't the best time. 3 days later he gave the ultimatum. He was as cold as ice.

He’s being manipulative and saying “don’t let any man tell you what to do, if you want to keep it, that’s fine, but I will not be there”. He had a truth dump and admitted to being a terrible father to his other two kids, beating them, being abusive, and basically not enjoying fatherhood. He loves them “sometimes” but cannot stand the responsibility. The entire time we were together I never met his kids but he claimed to be father of the year, pretending to see them and be with them.

I’ve cut contact with him and blocked him yesterday!

Hes ruined this. He was the one who told me not to take the morning after pill! We agreed we would see what would happen regarding family planning and a baby. Hed go up and down but always maintained it woild be a good thing.

i had a bad feeling that I’ve misjudged who this man is and contacted his ex who I have never spoken to.

she was an Angel and told me he has not seen his other two kids properly in two years due to social services intervention because he badly best their 9 year old. On top of that he was just a terrible terrible partner that financially abused her and beat her. He wouldn’t turn up to visits, ignore them for months at a time. No birthday cards….nothing. He also refused to divorce her and she had to get it done via court order. He told me they were divorced 3 weeks into us dating. The amount of lies exposed in our conversation was something out of a Netflix documentary. He told me she was a housewive….turns out she had 3 jobs while he paid for nothing. When her son was a baby she came home and he had bitten him! Hes a stranger. A stranger. I’m broken.

I basically have been with a compulsive liar and sociopath who saw our relationship as a bit of fun. I ignored a lot of red flags because I’m 34 abojt to turn 35 in December and I’m scared. I’m kicking myself for letting my loneliness consume me.

I don’t want to be pregnant anymore but already had a termination at 31 and cannot bring myself to take the pills. I feel no connection to the pregnancy anymore because of him, and am scared I’m romanticising motherhood out of fear of it not happening for me.

you know how some woman say “F U, I’m keeping it!”. That’s not me! It sounds horrible but I’d love to just have a miscarriage to take the choice out of my hands. I have no desire to be a single mother or raise the child of a compulsive liar. I don’t think I can love this child and heal from his lies. I’m also petrified this is my last chance to be a mum. I guess I’m clinging on to being pregnant - I felt so special and giddy in those short three days before my world was turned upside down.

please give advice and be soft with me. I want to be a mum but not like this. The abortion just feels….wrong. I’m 34 about to be 35. What if I never meet anyone? What if I do but we can’t get pregnant. The abortion I had at 31 was a massive massive relief. This feels like the hardest thing ever. I see no good outcome. Children abandoned by a parent seem to have a lot of trauma no matter how big the village.

my head is saying get rid of it and feel horrible because you deserve to. Deep down inside you knew who this man was and you played with fire because you were desperate. If you don’t have kids after this - that’s the way the cookie crumbles. The other side of my head is saying that I’m just grieving a massive loss and I will forgive him, come to peace with this, and love my child.

please give it to me straight and share your experiences because my brain is fried. I’m 5 weeks + 4

OP posts:
NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:19

@pinkyredrose hes lied about a lot of stuff but it was passed off as just “silly” by his own mother and “at least your not alone, all men lie” by my friends! I’ve broken down so many times to friends saying “this isn’t a real relationship, it’s mentally abusive, I’m just too weak to leave, I need help” and theyve done NOTHING.

he lied about his job and income, making daily elaborate stories so I could believe him. I forgave him like an idiot because I was told by so many people that as opposed to emotionally abusive it was just “silly”.

he lied about getting me valentines flowers. Pretended he bought them but they never came.

he pretended to be seeing his kids every other weekend but one time he claimed to be in a restaurant with them and that they were eating items not on the menu when I googled it. Told myself maybe the menu had changed.

There’s 1000191818181818 other things but these were the weekly flags.

OP posts:
Thundertoast · Yesterday 16:19

NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:13

Hello everyone - I know it’s a silly point - but I will really never ever see his face again! Ever! He hates me! I was just his toy. He is OBSESSED with his ex and that’s why he sees those kids when he is allowed to which is rare. He is relived that I’m gone. He hates me. I promise you! He will never come back but it’s weird - that will haunt me forever! No child deserves to know their dad lives 40 minutes away on the tube and wants nothing to do with them!!!

But you dont know that, remember.
You thought you knew him, now you've found out you didnt know him at all.
So you DONT know he wouldnt try and reappear in you or your child's life. You have no idea. You need to rid yourself of the idea that you 'know' anything about this man or what he might do, to protect yourself.

Gobbledegoo · Yesterday 16:22

Sending you support and a MN hug. Whatever your decision it will be the right one for you.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:22

Kackacc · Yesterday 16:09

This man will be your child's father, whether or not he has contact, whether or not he ever gets close enough to physically harm them, your child will have a difficult start and identity knowing their father was abusive and rejected them, plus potentially years of mental and emotional torture for you and your child ahead. You will have social services involved during your pregnancy and after birth assessing how you will keep your baby safe from this person, potentially complicated court proceedings if he ever wants access in future.

You have done the right thing now and split but you say yourself you have gone back to him in the past despite seeing red flags which is worrying for your safety. I would walk away from this pregnancy, do some therapy to heal your personal issues and insecurities and make sure you are in a position to be the strong, safe parent every child deserves before taking steps towards motherhood again in the future.

thanks @Kackacc

ive been delusional for two years and it needs to end, even it it causes me pain. I need to grow up.

OP posts:
IDontCareWhatMyUsernameIs · Yesterday 16:23

Christ, the last thing you need is a lifelong connection to this psychopath. I wouldn’t have his baby if it came with a million pounds.

You really need to work out why you fell for his thinly veiled shite though, and were willing to have a baby with someone whose kids you had never even met.

Badvocthebad · Yesterday 16:25

Terminate and move on
Do the freedom programme

Minasama · Yesterday 16:25

I would not have a child I didn’t 100% want and I would not have this man’s child. You will never have him out of your life if you have his baby. Also genes pass down so if it’s a son he might be just as abusive towards you.
Terminate, and you may yet meet a decent man to have a child with. That’s super hard to do if you’re a single mum with a baby and can’t go out.

cestlavielife · Yesterday 16:27

This foetus might not survive anyway. Might be disabled. You just do not know. This early you can terminate and terminate any connection with this awful man. And be free to have a baby with a nice someone.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:32

IDontCareWhatMyUsernameIs · Yesterday 16:23

Christ, the last thing you need is a lifelong connection to this psychopath. I wouldn’t have his baby if it came with a million pounds.

You really need to work out why you fell for his thinly veiled shite though, and were willing to have a baby with someone whose kids you had never even met.

@IDontCareWhatMyUsernameIs thanks. Stern but needed. I’m surrounded my chaos and poor decision making human beings where a bad way of life has been normalised. My best friend was an affair partner for 22 years (she’s older than me) and shared him with another woman half the week! Had a baby with him who is now 17!!!! Ridiculous.

OP posts:
NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:42

@LittlestBoho thanks but many women genuinely just don’t go on to conceive after a certain age and have issues. I’m scared. It happened for this one or that one just doesn’t give me hope at all! I just need to have an abortion and accept I may not be a mum and be at peace with that. There’s a LOOOOOOOT of grief there especially since I’ve gotten a taste of it. I was so happy in those first couple of days. I know it was all a lie and based on foolish irresponsible behaviour, but I was 🥹

OP posts:
Onlyyoucanknow · Yesterday 16:45

I had an termination because I see that the person it was with was an alcoholic and potentially violent from something he did to me once. I was desperate for a child.I had another child later on but I was an older mother, and was unable to have any more.
I now regret my decision and wonder what might have been. I also try to look at how I would've explained to that child about why they don't see their father and would've been worried if they had tried to contact him.

Perhaps if I had been able to have more I wouldn't think about it.

I think that only you can make that decision. It's not something you can get advice from here. I'm just letting you know what happened to me.

EmeraldDreams73 · Yesterday 16:49

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, OP. As others have said, I think you should be proud of yourself for immediately getting rid of him.
What a shock to the system but I too would not have this baby in your shoes. If he took it into his head to see the child, the system wouldn't stop him. He could do untold damage to both you and the child, and that's without considering the fact that some of his traits could well be passed on to the baby.

In your shoes I would be ending things immediately, as you've done. I would also end the pregnancy as tying yourself to him can only be a recipe for trauma down the line.

Being the right thing to do/what feels like the best option for you DOESN'T mean it's easy or that you deserve to be miserable. But you sure as hell don't deserve to be trapped in a spiral of problems that were actually avoidable, albeit not easily in terms of the emotional fallout.

Whatever you decide, bloody well done for seeing the light now. Take care. X

NattyEagle · Yesterday 16:55

Onlyyoucanknow · Yesterday 16:45

I had an termination because I see that the person it was with was an alcoholic and potentially violent from something he did to me once. I was desperate for a child.I had another child later on but I was an older mother, and was unable to have any more.
I now regret my decision and wonder what might have been. I also try to look at how I would've explained to that child about why they don't see their father and would've been worried if they had tried to contact him.

Perhaps if I had been able to have more I wouldn't think about it.

I think that only you can make that decision. It's not something you can get advice from here. I'm just letting you know what happened to me.

@Onlyyoucanknow thanks for being realistic with me and not acting like fertility isnt an issue. It is. I may never get pregnant again. It’s a big “may” I feel is being glossed over.

OP posts:
whippersnapper55 · Yesterday 16:56

Oh I'm so sorry you're in this position. I can't advise you either way, you're a strong woman so don't doubt yourself because of that bastard. Only you can know if you're making the right decision for you. Whatever you decide, please don't be hard on yourself. Sending hugs to you 🫂

Annoyedbyhusband · Yesterday 17:01

I would terminate. I couldn’t be tied to this mess. You will never be free of him if you continue.
also, I have a couple of friends that were with awful partners when young and got pregnant and kept the child. What they didn’t account for is that the fathers awful behaviours were caused mostly by undiagnosed mental and neuro diversities, which then passed onto their children, who now have the same traits and the mothers have brought up the kids alone, with a lot more understanding and being able to help them,of course now due to schools understanding more etc, but those inherent traits are there in their kids, so its been very hard long roads for both of these women and their kids.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:03

whippersnapper55 · Yesterday 16:56

Oh I'm so sorry you're in this position. I can't advise you either way, you're a strong woman so don't doubt yourself because of that bastard. Only you can know if you're making the right decision for you. Whatever you decide, please don't be hard on yourself. Sending hugs to you 🫂

@whippersnapper55 im not strong. I’ve virtually lost my mind and have spent two years in a relationship with a man who clearly didnt love me but breadcrumbed me enough to keep me desperate. I tried to leave so many times but couldnt face the loneliness. The unknown. Him and I broke up for 4 months. It was 4 months of hell. Torture. No relief to be without him. Just missing him so much. No one has ever wanted me a day in my life but him! Everyone else in the office found someone! Everyone goes on dating apps, swipes twice and finds someone! Everyone else meets their partner at the pub. Me? Alone. Of course I clung on to the first thing that came along. Even if it was distant, filled with confusion and lies! I’m not strong! I have nothing left in me to take these pills. I want to be a mother so badly but not like this.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · Yesterday 17:04

Op have an abortion and get a sperm donor.
Do not be tied to this man amd put another child and yourself in danger

JLou08 · Yesterday 17:05

I don't think this is the right place for advice. It's such a personal decision and people here are coming from the position of what they would do. Seek some family planning counselling ASAP. It's still early in the pregnancy, you have a few weeks to figure it out but with such a final decision it's best to be supported by professionals and have some time to process and make your decision.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:05

Annoyedbyhusband · Yesterday 17:01

I would terminate. I couldn’t be tied to this mess. You will never be free of him if you continue.
also, I have a couple of friends that were with awful partners when young and got pregnant and kept the child. What they didn’t account for is that the fathers awful behaviours were caused mostly by undiagnosed mental and neuro diversities, which then passed onto their children, who now have the same traits and the mothers have brought up the kids alone, with a lot more understanding and being able to help them,of course now due to schools understanding more etc, but those inherent traits are there in their kids, so its been very hard long roads for both of these women and their kids.

Edited

Thanks. His son is very violent and autistic with ADHD. Would attack the mum and his sister all the time. He's only calmed down now due to medication.

OP posts:
muddyford · Yesterday 17:06

If you have the child you are tied to this vile man for at least 18 years.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:07

JLou08 · Yesterday 17:05

I don't think this is the right place for advice. It's such a personal decision and people here are coming from the position of what they would do. Seek some family planning counselling ASAP. It's still early in the pregnancy, you have a few weeks to figure it out but with such a final decision it's best to be supported by professionals and have some time to process and make your decision.

@JLou08 i don’t want a few weeks, I have limits of how far along I will allow myself to be. Also I’m not made of money these services take ages through the NHS and charity helplines are just anti abortion nutters.

OP posts:
Doyouknowdanieltiger · Yesterday 17:09

Hi op im sorry you're struggling with this.

If i were you I'd have the abortion.

You may meet someone, you still have time for a child.

When you've had time maybe consider a sperm donor route? Freeze your eggs? Im not very clued up about those type of things but for the love of god dont have this man's child.

NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:10

muddyford · Yesterday 17:06

If you have the child you are tied to this vile man for at least 18 years.

@muddyford he would never show his face again, he hates me. I just know we will never cross paths. I fear I’d never be free from him emotionally if I kept it.

OP posts:
NattyEagle · Yesterday 17:12

Doyouknowdanieltiger · Yesterday 17:09

Hi op im sorry you're struggling with this.

If i were you I'd have the abortion.

You may meet someone, you still have time for a child.

When you've had time maybe consider a sperm donor route? Freeze your eggs? Im not very clued up about those type of things but for the love of god dont have this man's child.

@Doyouknowdanieltiger i don’t want to. I’m just so scared to take the pills. I can’t do it. I had a termination before and took the first pill before I left the clinic. I was so excited to have it over with. Now, at 34 going on 35, I’m petrified, ashamed and embarrassed.

OP posts:
Bigcat25 · Yesterday 17:13

NattyEagle · Yesterday 14:13

Hey everyone - him and I are done. Thanks for your responses and I’ve edited my post.

I fairly attractive and social but like many women really struggle to date and meet men so when people say I will meet someone else and have a baby like it’s so easy….it doesn’t make me feel better! I guess that’s why I stayed with 26262627 red flags!

A sperm donor would be a massive step up from this bastard who will abandon his kid. If you want a child it doesn't have to be this way.