my husband screamed at me last night after me asking for a plan on debt repayments (that he hid from me for 3 years). I asked nicely and calmly. He started shouting at me, saying I wasn’t being compassionate, I was calling him weak and not a man, and that I wasn’t helpful.
i tried to say that I was helping by being proactive and helping with a plan (he says to me when I am stressed that I need to problem solve so I was helping him do this). He’d also asked for my help 4 days ago and so I was following up - I’d sent him a draft plan and was asking what his thoughts were.
he was screaming and I was trying not to cry. When I asked him to stop shouting he said he couldn’t be bothered arguing and “he needed space and to fuck off”. He spent the night playing video games and didn’t speak to me. He didn’t speak to me this morning and just left for work. I then got a text “am I picking you up from work?”
I struggle so much when he’s like this, so angry and doesn’t care I am crying when he shouts. I also struggle with him snapping back to “normal” and not addressing the issue at hand or how he spoke to me. Am I being too sensitive? Or should I just learn that adults get angry sometimes and shout? Should I learn more resilience?