AIBU to think my husband is too harsh about five-year-olds cartwheel?

[Fawncard]

Me and DH are married 7 years.
We have a 5 year old DD, DD and DH constantly clash. He thinks it's funny winding her up but she often gets upset about it and he sometimes wont stop until she is in tears. Like let me be clear its mostly just childish stuff like taking the cup he knows she likes things like that he will always give it back to her but he seems to enjoy seeing her get annoyed which is starting to become a red flag for me.
Anyway over the last 2 days DD has being trying to do a cartwheel.... she thinks she can do a cartwheel (she cannot do a cartwheel and does not want advice on how to do a cartwheel she wants to do it "herself") she has been practicing and practicing. When she asks me to watch her I will find something positive, "well done you are working really hard at that" "woah that one was much higher" etc etc. But DH just keeps going "that's not a cartwheel" and keeps giving her unwanted advice and putting on videos of kids doing actual cartwheels which is annoying and upsetting DD and today she again ended upnin tears and DH just seems so unapologetic about it.
He says he doesn't want her to be "delusional" but at her age I wanted to be a bloody unicorn 5 year olds are allowed to be delusional.
He thinks I'm being too soft I think he's being an arsehole. AIBU?

He's a grown adult man and you're her mother. Due to thevfact that he is reducing her to tears/you are allowing him to reduce her to tears, I won't stop short of saying that this is emotional abuse. Stop this right now.

I feel so sad reading this. My dad always used to tease or wind up my sister and me until we cried. Looking back and now having my own children I can’t understand what kick he got out of this. We don’t have a great relationship now and I see him as a bit of a bully.

I'd go further than this and say that at the moment his behaviour indicates that he will undermine her educational pursuits and I would be very tempted to keep him clear of all of that. I wouldn't want him commenting on her homework and making her feel anxious or stupid.

So what if he knows something about gymnastics. Doesn't mean he's the best teacher? What he's doing by constantly criticizing his little DDs attempts at cartwheels is saying "I'm the expert in gymnastics. You should listen to me but your attempts are no good."
He's just showing off.. He had something that he's good at and he has to parade it in front of his DC.
He's very insecure isn't he?
Seriously awful way to treat a five year old who should be given every encouragement and positive feed back and most of all allowed to make mistakes because that is the way we learn.

I would record it next time it happens discretely. I'd document the times hes done it recently. I'd save it somewhere safe. I'd then speak to him in the strongest terms. He either changes or he leaves.
These types of people will go for 50/50 if you separate and you need to ensure she's with him as little as possible. Tbh this would be a huge turn off for me and I'd be already thinking there is no way back.

My father used to do stuff like this to me - he would hide my favourite cuddly toy because he thought my distress was entertaining.
He shattered my confidence in so many ways and it has affected me for the rest of my life.

I speak to him maybe three times a year these days.

LTB

No way in fuck I’d let anyone bully my 5 yr old like this, let alone a grown man.

Unfortunately so many adults, not just dads, have zero understanding of child development and how important these kind of interactions are for their child’s future mental health, and setting the tone for a future parent/child relationship.

If he’s constantly making her cry, she could become quite anxious; she might even start to expect to be upset by him. its best to nip this in the bud, and in this case explain to him that one day she WILL be able to do a perfect cartwheel, because she’s practised it so many times. Just like one day she’ll be able to ride a bike…. Moving forward - one day she’ll learn to read, then to write, to drive a car etc etc. Being a child and then a teen is all about learning processes. Is he going to tell her she’s crap at every stage? Or perhaps he needs to learn to support her now, so that one day when she’s 17 and learning to drive they don’t have a blazing row on a main road. The foundations are so important, so just tell him to stop bring a nob and do better! X