WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

[DinonneS]

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

Oh to be a fly on the wall when she tries to explain how you picking up this potentially knife wielding, aggressive, possibly sexually deviant 15 year old is going to scar her precious daughter for LIFE 😂

Nutters are everywhere atm

Yeah, this. This is all that needs to be said.

What's she on??
Perfectly normal ( and nice ) thing to do!!

So weird! I wouldn’t pick her child up again. What if you had needed to stop for petrol, would that have been an acceptable time delay?

Be interested to hear how your talking to goes.

Tell her to have a chat with herself. Ungrateful so & so.

Ywbu to give any of them a lift. It’s 10 minutes walk. Rain won’t hurt them.

there's always one 🙄

First two posts are spot on.

They've been watching the Odyssey and are checking for Greeks 😊

Long time reader, first time poster.

Signed up to follow this.

She is a loon!

Dont take any crap from her OP
you did a nice thing.

I am presuming that knowing you were collecting her at x time and how long the journey takes was expecting her child to walk through the door at 2.55pm. Perhaps she is a worrier. When they did not walk through the door at the expected time, she was then forced to spend the next 15 minutes sick with worry and unable to think about anything else, convinced that something awful must have happened. Not necessarily that you had done something but that something bad had happened to her child.

if the child is a teenager, whilst they are old enough to message mum to say “hey we’re dropping off friend b as well”, they are still a child and tend not to forward think about things like that.

Maybe they’re seen as overreacting, but if they were genuinely upset and afraid that could explain their attitude towards you.

YANBU at all to give dd’s other little friend a lift. It would be cruel to make them walk. But where it might be slightly that YABU is that you told or made neighbour think child would be home at 2.55 then took them on a jaunt without letting her know the revised ETA, leaving her completely in the dark to worry about her until you finally brought her back (15 minutes probably seems like a long time if you thought your child was being brought home by a trusted neighbour but they have not been!)

Please update us on how this goes when you speak with neighbour!

There have been lots of threads like the ones in my list on MN, where the question was asked totally seriously. “Friend’s mum gave my DD a lift - was she DBS checked?”

Hi sorry for the late response. I went straight on a work call when I got back so I’m only just catching up. To answer a fee questions;

I assume mum was watching out on her ring when I said I’d pick them up and was expecting her to be back at a certain time.

i did not message the mum to say we were dropping someone on the way as I was driving. I just assumed her dd would shoot her a quick message while she was in the car to let her know. They’re 15 and have all had phones since they started walking to school, which was year 7!

We live in a tight knit, fairly small, village so a lot of dd’s friends have been her friends since primary school and they have all gone on to the local secondary together. All of us parents take it in turns to pick up/drop off. I’ve given so many lifts to dd’s friends and many of her friend’s parents have given her a lift. It’s just what we do here. It isn’t out of the ordinary for any of us to see a child walking down the street and offer them a lift. Which is why my first thought was for me to offer to pick her dd up as I knew the forecast was heavy rain.

I’ve never had a problem with this neighbour before. She is quirky and she has had issues with other neighbours in the past. In general though, I don’t have a lot to do with her socially. We have picked up and dropped off each others children before on many occasions. There was a time in primary when she was doing all morning drop offs and I was doing all the pick ups as it suited our work schedule.

I can’t imagine her dd text her to complain about me dropping another child off. Her dd is lovely and was very grateful for the lift back as they would’ve been soaked!

Lol what? Those are mental! Especially what if the pps husband saw her on the dash cam! Who thinks like this?

Ah just let her daughter explain to the anxious mummy. I'd ignore (not answer) any calls but respond with a brief text asking her to voicenote you with whatever is bothering her. Then ignore.

Sounds like she forgot her meds or something.

That is insane. I regularly have a car full of random teenagers who I am ferrying home after parties/sports games etc.

It would never occur to me to check with parents first at that age.

That’s bonkers (and also a very early school finish)

It's a pity the girl has to pay for having a crazy mother.

“Chatting about it later”?!?!?! FML

I would have had NO CHOICE but to answer,
chat shit, get banged 😂😂😂

how on earth was she "forced" to "spend the next 15 minutes sick with worry"?

If she had capacity to monitor the door (i.e. was not performing open heart surgery with no way of contacting anyone) then she had capacity to either ring her dd or OP herself and ask where they were!

Ooh thanks I never knew that!

She’s insane, sorry OP. As another poster said, no good deed goes unpunished

This is just plain weird. What on earth are you going to “chat” about? Get your phone to turn the conversation into text so you can giggle about it for weeks. Do you think you are expected to apologies for not disclosing your kindness to a third child?

I can't think of any reason why it would be an issue? We often had random kids that my kids knew jump in the car to be took home in bad weather, I'd have appreciated it from any of my kids friends parents bringing them home too, unless they were known to be druggies/drunks/erratic drivers, none of which seems to apply to you. How bizarre!

If mum was a worrier and panicked over a 15min detour, what stopped her messaging/calling her daughter... Yup, definitely true about no good deeds going unpunished by some crazy people!

Hilarious that she thinks she gets to speak to you like you're a child too... Who tf does she think she is?! 😅🤣 Absolutely invested OP, please let us know what her issue is/was!