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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"How do black people feel? How do brown people feel? How do cripples feel? How do fat people feel?"

155 replies

Temptree · Yesterday 22:34

As stated by Miriam Margolyes today, as she gets worse and worse...... and worse.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5574225-omg-miriam-margolyes-andi-peters?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

It was intolerable what she said on This Morning last week.
And now what she's saying today by way of defending herself is even further intolerable.

OMG Miriam Margolyes Andi Peters | Mumsnet

I've got an annual leave day today and am spending the morning shamelessly on the sofa watching daytime TV with cups of tea and biscuits after an exha...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5574225-omg-miriam-margolyes-andi-peters

OP posts:
JHound · Today 10:34

CinnamonJellyBeans · Today 07:39

A woman as old as her, who has written a book, has enough life experience and intelligence to know that the way she referred to the colour of Andy Peter's skin was grossly and wilfully offensive. The accent was also grossly offensive.

If I said that to someone, I'd rightly lose my job. There's no way you can explain away calling someone that unrepeatable term.

I don't think Andy Peters dealt with it well at all. If it is safe to do so, you should call out racism every time, terminate the conversation, or refuse to further engage with the person. He did none of those. It may well have been a surprise for him to have experienced overt racism on his own talk show, but as a seasoned presenter, he should have managed that better.

Sometimes shock means you don’t have the right words in the moment so I think it’s unfair to criticise his response.

JHound · Today 10:36

Livelovebehappy · Today 08:46

Interesting to see how some on the left are defending her though. Must be difficult for them to process this when she has also been an advocate for a lot of left leaning ideologies. She probably just doesn’t care, like a lot of elderly people, who develop a ‘no filter’ mindset where anything that was previously hidden in their head just comes out.

Where have you seen people “on The Left” defending her?

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:37

JHound · Today 10:34

Sometimes shock means you don’t have the right words in the moment so I think it’s unfair to criticise his response.

Absolutely, its like the freeze or flight response. And I think entertainment presenters are conditioned to always defuse a situation rather than confront it.

3peassuit · Today 10:39

I was impressed with Andi Peters professionalism. He must have been shocked but his response was civil and classy (more than mine would have been), it made Miriam look rude and ignorant by comparison.

JHound · Today 10:39

RhannionKPSS · Today 09:21

Utter nonsense, people are having a go because she is a vile, disgusting woman and the only genocide going on is being inflicted on Christians in Sub Saharan Africa , but no one is marching for them!!!

This is absolutely batshit.

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:41

JHound · Today 10:39

This is absolutely batshit.

Which bit is ‘ absolutely batshit’ ?

Foolish1984 · Today 10:41

Summer26woohoo · Today 08:13

She's losing her marbles is my considered opinion.

Yes there are plenty of fully with it people in their 80's but there are plenty who aren't. She's losing what little filter she had, which I suspect is age related.

I can't get excited about what she said tbh, in the grand scheme of things there's much worse going on.

If course you can’t get excited about it if none of what she said applies to you!

Melisand · Today 10:41

TheFairyCaravan · Yesterday 23:55

She’s a nasty old hag. How she hasn’t been cancelled is beyond me.

Oh the irony! Check your own ageism and misogyny perhaps 😆🙄

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:42

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:41

Which bit is ‘ absolutely batshit’ ?

I imagine it's bit where you claim there's only one genocide currently happening in the world

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:42

JHound · Today 10:33

While I definitely think that is true for some there are people who have commented on MN on this issue who have expressed similarly problematic views regarding race. Some who in the other thread criticised MM while defending Lady Susan Hussey who engaged in identical behaviour. So it’s clear for some their objection to what she said is not what she said but rather her politics.

Are you aware that the lady in question was speaking to someone who was wearing traditional African clothing which no doubt prompted her question?

JHound · Today 10:43

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:41

Which bit is ‘ absolutely batshit’ ?

All of it. Although special mention for the mention of “sub-saharan Africa”.

And also the implication that an entire region is one country.

Melisand · Today 10:45

TheFairyCaravan · Today 07:58

She’s being calling disabled people, like me, a cripple for years which is incredibly offensive and she knows it but doesn’t care. So if I want to call her a nasty old hag, I bloody well will.

So we should respond to someone being offensive by being offensive ourselves.
okaaaaay 😆😆😆🙄

JHound · Today 10:45

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:42

Are you aware that the lady in question was speaking to someone who was wearing traditional African clothing which no doubt prompted her question?

And?

She asked a weird question. Was answered and refused to accept the answer thus tumbling into the same weird racial othering that MM engaged in.

But thanks for proving my point about ‘some’ people’s issue being not what was said but who said it.

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:46

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:42

Are you aware that the lady in question was speaking to someone who was wearing traditional African clothing which no doubt prompted her question?

People can wear traditional African clothing in the UK too

Sunbringer · Today 10:46

I used to think she was hilarious… then I read her book. It’s basically just filth and acting like masturbating strange men in bushes as a favour is funny. Even though she was very young and is apparently a lesbian. Very strange woman.

FallenNight · Today 10:48

On the plus side in her audience she also said repeatedly that Nigel Farage is not her cup of tea (well something like that using her own choice of descriptive words) asked if anyone was a Reform voter in the room, then gently encouraged anyone who disliked or disagreed with her views on reform and Farage to go home. So not all bad.

Anarchy99 · Today 10:52

FallenNight · Today 10:48

On the plus side in her audience she also said repeatedly that Nigel Farage is not her cup of tea (well something like that using her own choice of descriptive words) asked if anyone was a Reform voter in the room, then gently encouraged anyone who disliked or disagreed with her views on reform and Farage to go home. So not all bad.

That’s a cheap way of trying to be funny though. Sniping at Farage is hardly revolutionary. Most people do it because he’s utter scum.

JHound · Today 10:52

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:46

People can wear traditional African clothing in the UK too

And let’s be honest - if that was a white woman in traditional clothing from an African country she would not have kept badgering her to know “where are you REALLY from”.

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:52

Melisand · Today 10:45

So we should respond to someone being offensive by being offensive ourselves.
okaaaaay 😆😆😆🙄

You're right, and I agree. I do have sympathy for disabled people who have spent years on the receiving end of slurs such as "cripple", however.

Especially right now when they're being subjected to increasing ableist discourse in politics and media - not limited to the current euthanasia bill and anti-disabled benefits bashing.

Unfortunately, for many disabled people what appears to others to be just words and healthy debate directly relates to the deaths of people with disabilities across the country.

Anarchy99 · Today 10:52

Melisand · Today 10:45

So we should respond to someone being offensive by being offensive ourselves.
okaaaaay 😆😆😆🙄

Actually yes. I have no issue with insulting a nasty bigot

JHound · Today 10:53

Sunbringer · Today 10:46

I used to think she was hilarious… then I read her book. It’s basically just filth and acting like masturbating strange men in bushes as a favour is funny. Even though she was very young and is apparently a lesbian. Very strange woman.

I don’t know how she has managed to escape my attention. I don’t think I have ever watched her in anything, never read a book of hers, never seen a full interview with her in it.

And for that, I am thankful.

Fast800goingforit · Today 10:54

She is not losing her marbles. It's all part of her revolting act. She knew she could not be crude and make sexual remarks on a daytime TV programme so decided to take the piss out of the presenters in a really offensive way, dressing it up as something humourous instead.

RhannionKPSS · Today 10:55

JHound · Today 10:43

All of it. Although special mention for the mention of “sub-saharan Africa”.

And also the implication that an entire region is one country.

I am well aware of the African continent, probably far more than you and it is NIGERIA , which is a sub Saharan African country , that is suffering a genocide of its Christian population

Anarchy99 · Today 10:58

Sunbringer · Today 10:46

I used to think she was hilarious… then I read her book. It’s basically just filth and acting like masturbating strange men in bushes as a favour is funny. Even though she was very young and is apparently a lesbian. Very strange woman.

I think most of what she says is probably made up anyway, in a lame attempt to seem interesting and edgy

AssassinsEyebrow · Today 10:59

Anarchy99 · Today 10:52

That’s a cheap way of trying to be funny though. Sniping at Farage is hardly revolutionary. Most people do it because he’s utter scum.

I do think Miriam attempts to engage in real debate and having watch a documentary she did where she travelled across the US, I think she's genuinely interested in different points of view. I also admire her ability to be as forthright as she is, and she has spoken out against the Gazian genocide several times.

I can see why she's become an attractive figure for TV execs to bring on screen but in doing so there's an inherent condescension. They see her shocking statements and stories as funny coming from a 'fat little old woman' and invite us to laugh at her, in the way we do Catherine Tate's Nan.

What people are now seeing is that condescension can't hide the very real racism in her statements, whether that's unconscious or not, and some could argue execs have a duty of care to those of minority groups, such as Andi Peters, not to put them at risk of being on the receiving end of an -ism on air.