AIBU to refuse my 17-year-old caring for a 14-year-old all week

[Jollytealswan]

My 17yo has a 14yo niece. He has been asked for look after her for a week whilst her family goes on holiday. She is no relation to me.
My 17yo is a good trustworthy guy, but i have yet to leave him alone in the house overnight. I think he would be absolutely fine, but the situation has never arisen.
I am however dead against him being responsible for a 14yo for a whole week. Maybe overnight with me on call. But not a whole week.
My mind is racing through worst case scenarios...missing 14yos, medical emergencies. household disasters, arguments etc.
I get that I would end up responsible for the 14yo as well.
I acknowledge that the law is unclear on this and relies on risk assessment and common sense. I wouldn't leave my 17yo alone for a week.
What does everyone else think?

Definitely not, maybe a weekend if they were siblings and sensible.

I left my 15 and 17 year old for 5 days and they were fine but their dad / aunt and grandparents were are a few min drive away.

I wouldn’t. I can’t imagine either of them want that anyway.

You haven’t listed the worst case scenarios. It would not be appropriate for a variety of reasons even allowing for him being a fabulous and capable human.

i can’t get over the fact your 17yo has never been left alone for the night.

Where are you staying in all of this? In the same house but out at work etc? Or would he be going to stay in her house?

Your 17 has never been left alone over night, are you joking, and do you wipe his bum too?

My 17 year old will be in charge of the house and pets soon as my partner and I are on holiday for a week.

I would honestly rather a 17 year old looked after a 4 year old all week! The 4 year old is less capable of getting into trouble (e.g. going out without permission)

Too big a responsibility for him. 14 yr old could try alcohol, drugs, sex or something else adulty and it would reflect badly on him if he was in charge during this time. You probably wouldn't leave your 14 yr old if you worried about these things happening, but the child could surprise you!

Why? I don’t remember ever being left overnight.
I remember going clubbing. I remember babysitting other kids until the early hours before going home but I dont think a circumstance arose that my mum left me overnight. Still went away to uni at 18 and became a capable adult. Wasn’t a biggie.

OP- no I wouldn’t agree to this either. Too much responsibility on him.

He stays at his girlfriends and with mates. I am just always at home. I obviously need to work on my social life. I know he would be fine, i just like my own bed.

PS I'm not shocked at a 17 yr old never having been left alone overnight. I've only done it for work (for example one of us on nights and one gets a work call out) so if I didn't have the job I do I don't think it would have come up tbh.....

What a load of crap.

Loads of people dont go away on holiday, lots are still close to their children at that age amd would take them with.

Alot of 17 year olds wouldnt have been left on their own overnight before.

Why should a 17 year old have to look after a 14 year old relative all week? Craziness.

Hardly weird. I wasn't alone overnight at that age. I know everyone on Mumsnet views 16 year olds as adults etc but in the real world a lot of 17 / 18 / 19 year olds still ask their parents for advice and not all of them feel ready to be left alone. The OP does acknowledge that the situation has never arisen. It is a possibility!!!

i voted YABU solely for this reason.

I went to a different city at 17 for uni and now parents won’t leave them overnight alone.

Is he actually expected to look after the 14 year old, or is it more 2 responsible teens keeping each other company?

I mean I had my own house and child at that age so I'm sure he'd be fine. It does depend on what the 14 year old is like though and whether they'd try anything daft.

Why are people sticking on the fact he's never been alone for the night? It probably just hasn't come up rather than it being a conscious decision

Its more a case of i don't stay away overnight. My daughter lives at home too. He would be absolutely fine. I am single and up to now we all tended to holiday together, because ....well we actually like eachother and have a laugh. Its obviously going to change now he's older, but weird as it seems I like my kids' company.

Yup. I am single and like my own bed. And a bit skint. Not everyone is going for citybreaks. Its just worked out like that.

In her house.
I would obviously be on call and don't live far away. I haven't been asked.

Nope. Mainly for his own good because I'd not want him to be put in a situation of being alone with a younger girl

No way. Apart from anything else, all my boyfriends were 17 when I was 14. I know it less usual now but I can well imagine if they are thrown together like that the niece could develop a crush that she might try to act on, or vice versa.

Plus I think in terms of general maturity they are often about level at those ages - so it's weird for him to be 'looking after' someone who's not that much younger than him.

There are lots of other reasons not to do it too - as you say, you wouldn't leave him alone on his own for a week, why on earth would you do so now?

And it's much too much responsibility, however level-headed he is. What if she just tells him to fuck off and walks? So much could go wrong!

Which is the insane relative that is proposing this OP?

Jesus, what a snidey response. Maybe the situation just hasn't arisen.

If you've not up to leaving your 17 year old alone for a week then I presume you know him well and no, he can't care for his niece for a week. It's that simple.

Besides, did you see the party thread where the poor posters house was trashed by her 15 year old? Ha.