AIBU to refuse my 17-year-old caring for a 14-year-old all week

[Jollytealswan]

My 17yo has a 14yo niece. He has been asked for look after her for a week whilst her family goes on holiday. She is no relation to me.
My 17yo is a good trustworthy guy, but i have yet to leave him alone in the house overnight. I think he would be absolutely fine, but the situation has never arisen.
I am however dead against him being responsible for a 14yo for a whole week. Maybe overnight with me on call. But not a whole week.
My mind is racing through worst case scenarios...missing 14yos, medical emergencies. household disasters, arguments etc.
I get that I would end up responsible for the 14yo as well.
I acknowledge that the law is unclear on this and relies on risk assessment and common sense. I wouldn't leave my 17yo alone for a week.
What does everyone else think?

No. Read the 15yr house party thread

Technically not an adult,so if he got into a scrape then I would be responsible for him I expect. Then end up being responsible for both of them with no say so over the 14yo.

No I wouldn’t agree to this. And he shouldn’t have been asked. Mostly because teenage girls and teenage boys shouldn’t be in this type of environment on their own for a number of days.

No.

Well, only until someone asks a question about their 16yr old doing something and everyone piles on about how "children" shouldn't be let out of sight for even a moment because of all the predators everywhere 😜

This would be my reason for saying no as it’s essentially putting you in charge (but via the back door!) unless his dad is close by as presumably it’s the dad’s sibling who is the one going away?

This & also the point of them being too close in age so it’s teens hanging out.

No way he is under 18
that is classed as a child looking after another child.
If something were to happen
social services and the police would be on you like a ton of bricks.
I wouldn't do it.
Especially if you say he hasn't been left alone before.

Personally I think they sound irresponsible people

They could have asked you an adult to do it rather than the the 17 year old child. That would have been better.

You can refuse and should refuse if you don't feel comfortable with it

Surely though they’ve been away from home for the night?

So what’s the update @Jollytealswan ?

Yes. But thats not the issue

I would say no, 14 year old girls are hard work in my experience. And she will likely do what she wants and ignore your son.

I agree with this.i wouldn't be happy for a 17 year old boy to be responsible for a 14 year old girl
They are too close in age and the potential for something going wrong is much greater

I suggest that a lot of 17 year olds experience of having had - or not had a night alone is a function of their parent(s) lifestyle finances etc and not over protective parenting

And?

You really are very sheltered if you think that creates some unbreakable holy barrier to issues, either real or perceived.

I've got a nearly 17 year old who has never been left alone overnight. The situation hasnt arisen. This is not unusual amongst his friends.

It's totally inappropriate for the reasons you've listed OP and for several that you haven't. There is absolutely nothing unusual at all about a 17 year old never having been left alone overnight.

Absolutely not !
They are too close in age for your DS to have any sort of authority in that situation.
Many many things could go very wrong .

I think it is peak mumsnet that everyone here is horrified about it without actually asking what the 17 thinks about it, but then are horrified when 18 years olds don't act like adults and suggest "get their own place" the moment a dish is left out.

Why does the o.p get a casting vote anyway?

No way. We have all been 17 year olds ourselves and know how irresponsible they are. Id never allow it.

Like a 16 year old with their own child is???

It's not a good idea because 1, she can not take any notice of anything he tells her and also if he tries to stop her doing something she could blackmail him by threatening to say he abused ger

That would make her his cousin.
She is his niece so must be the daughter of his half sibling.

Very true @Shinyhappyapple but there must still be a shared dad in there somewhere (Op’s ex) - can he not do it?

Very same here and mine has never stayed home alone while I fecked off for the night either plus we still go away and have fun together. Some people parentify their kids something chronic.

Oh and no I would think it highly inapropriate also.

Hahahaha you would think...