Neighbour calls at 8:30 am on Saturday to tell me she is stressed?

[Kate011]

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

She’s 45. Same age as me. Yes they were young moms.

She sounds like a chatterbox. She was more than likely venting than asking for help, some people are a bit more helpless than other people.
I would advise her to go ask citizens advice for the information she needs.
8.30 is a bit early. I’m an early bird too, next time don’t answer unless it’s convenient.

Stop being so amenable, just say hello if you see her but any time she asks you a question say you don’t know or sorry I’m busy. She’ll soon get the hint.

I'd ask her why the fuck she was ringing ME when she has much closer friends AND A HUSBAND in the building!

As for lending her your keys - absolutely out of the question .

Weird as hell. Cut yourself loose of her OP.

You’ve said things the 3rd time. So it’s not all the time.

8.30 is obviously early for you in a Saturday but for all isn’t.

She clearly needs support which would be lovely for you to give.

But if you don’t want to help her then don’t respond to her knocks or calls.

Of you answer and say nothing then how is she to know you aren’t happy with her asking for help?

I voted Yanbu but actually this is your own fault - if these things keep happening to you , it's because you are not dealing with people appropriately.
When people tell you that they won't be calling their own friends and family because they have lives of their own and are busy, the response to that is 'so do I'. It's literally insulting you to your face and behaving as if you are their support person, rather than being a person worthy of consideration too!
So you should be telling your colleague who calls you at 11pm and the neighbours who call you to sort out their lives, that you are busy/ that it's not appropriate to be calling you.
Then block their number.
Ive never needed to contact my neighbours in an emergency and if I did, I'd just knock on their door - it's what my own neighbours have done in a genuine case of need.

Honestly, people are so wet nowadays - instead of having a frank conversation regarding appropriate boundaries, they just get walked all over and then whinge in the internet.

Imagine being like this. Great community, super society, yaaaay!

18 year old grandchildren at 45? There are only 27 years between her and her grandchildren so she and her daughter/son were parents at age 13 and a half!?

Is it a key that can’t be cut at a key shop? She wants to borrow your key, nope. She wants to copy/cut it, maybe you ir better still one of her friends can go with her to get it cut locally. I would suggest that to her then stop replying.

She's used to taking advantage of others. You need to learn the phrase 'I'm sorry I can't help' and the swift termination of the call. Also, from your other examples, 'I need to get on with my day now so it's time for you to leave'.

That’s what she told me?

but I’m maybe I’m remembering wrong and they are 16

OP, mute her number.
She is abusing it.
Learn from this.
Stop giving people your number.
It reads as if you might be a soft touch.
I would have cut in when she said she was actually in her flat, didn't need help to get in, and was using your number at 8.30am for a rant.

CF, I would be annoyed and tell her not to call my number again.

Suspect she called you because no one else answered. What with it being 8:30 on a Saturday.

YABU to let it eat into your day like this. Say no and let it go.

She’s now texting me asking me if she can borrow my keys because it can take up to a week to get replacement from council

and that she can’t wait that long and she’ll be forced to ask people to open door for her

so I guess she wants me to go without keys instead?

She called you because you were the only one who picked up.

You were the only who picked up because everyone else recognises that she's got anxiety issues and doesn't realise she's being a nuisance. She has leant on them too much rather than learning to do things for herself.

They have all got fed up of it.

You are just the next one on the list who needs to tell her to sort her own shit out or block her.

Unfortunately.

I would not be remotely surprised if she wanted a lift, or at some point will ask you for a loan of some sort.
She has a spare key. Tesco does a replacement. It is not far away. She is anxious she has lost her main keys.
What she expects you to do about that I have no idea. All you can do is say keep looking. Where did she last have them ? Etc.
I would not go up to her flat to help her look for them.
You know almost nothing about her. How does she have your phone number ?
Make sympathetic noises but do not get involved.
She seems needy or has decided you would be good to latch onto.

She said let’s exchange phone numbers in case of emergency

Absolute no. She has her spare.

I do help. A lot actually.
But I am not a doormat.

she already asked me for a lift before. and a loan.

she said her friends “who are really good people” I never met are really struggling, and if I can give her a few thousand so she can loan them. She can’t help them because her savings are low

Why has she got your number thou ?
I would get rid of her number or block if U don't want her contacting you maybe she has no social etiquette and doesn't realise it's rude to call on people that early especially people she isn't actually acquainted with .

She said let’s exchange numbers in case of emergency

Laugh and say no.
Tbh just don't engage with this woman.

Having read your latest posts OP I really do think the phrase Will you please Fuck Off should be deployed.

Why am I not surprised.
Steer well clear. You will probably have to be quite rude to her for her to realise not to keep bothering you.
Her keys are her problem. Not yours. Do not give her your keys. It will probably invalidate any insurance you have, and you will not be able to get rid of her.
She might even decide she cannot afford her rent and can she be in your spare room.
As to lending money to people you do not know !!! She has some cheek.