Neighbour calls at 8:30 am on Saturday to tell me she is stressed?

[Kate011]

And by neighbour I mean lady in my building two floors above me. Who says hi and stops to make small talk/chat with me sometimes.

I answer phone call at 8:30 am because I think it’s an emergency.

she starts telling me how she’s under a lot of stress right now because she lost her keys?

I ask if she wants me to let her in building, she says no, she’s in her flat, she had spare key to her flat and someone let her in building.

and asks me if Tesco does copies? (Tesco is like 3 minutes away by bus) And where she can get replacement?

I tell her council does replacements as it’s a council building. she then asks how to contact council to get replacement.

She knows I rent privately in this building from private landlord so don’t have contact with council and been living here much, much less than she did? So how would I know?

she lived in building 16 years, how does she not know how to contact the council about lost keys?

and what does she expect me to do?

Or was she expecting me to offer one of our keys while she waits for council key replacement??

She keeps ranting and complaining about how she’s so annoyed.

She has a close couple friend living in the building. They always hang out together.

why not call and tell them this?

she also has a daughter and two 18 year old grandkids who she says are super close to her living nearby.

she told me she has so many friends. Why contact me this early out of all people??

sometime ago I remember she knocked on January 1st on my door asking if my daughter can help connect her to/figure out her problem with her tv. I barely knew her then.

another time she kept complaining how she has no heating nearly all winter and doesn’t know how to complain to the council repair team. And asked if I knew how to. When she asked I suggested she ask her daughter for help she said “oh I don’t want to bother people, they have their own lives and problems” .

but calling at 8:30 on Saturday is bit ridiculous no?

Why should OP accept an unwanted chat early on a Saturday with someone she barely knows just because the lady wanted one? Cheeky fuckery.

Wow to the lady who couldn't poop calling you - not sure what she expected you to do about that! This sounds like a boundary issue - a counsellor recommended a book called set boundaries, find peace to me. I do get why you're irritated - really this lady should be calling her daughter or her friend so you have to make it less rewarding for her to involve you unless it is an actual emergency.

You don't have to. Say no. Block the number. No more early chats.

She now texting asking to borrow our families keys because it can take up to week to get replacement

Don't open the door. Ignore her or shout "go away' at her. The last is rude but often work pretty well.

Block her number. Don't engage.

I'm guessing you have a kind face OP 😜

Time to practise frowning!!!

I'd be blocking this one's number 🫣 what a fucking nightmare!

You now know to block her number going forward because she is going to abuse the privilage. . When a neighbour asked for my number a long time ago I told her my number is for friends and family and not for random people.

😳

Say no, you need those keys for yourself. If you give them to her what will you use!

Don’t respond to her messages, don’t answer the door if she comes round. You are also a person with your own life, or whatever she said. I can understand you answering the phone - she gave her number for emergencies and you thought there was a genuine emergency. But she definitely could’ve texted rather than called, or asked her family to help her, or looked on the council website herself

Not everyone is up with the lark
Saturday is my only day to lie in
I happen to be a night owl and I love sleep
I hate these pious ones who view it as "lazy " if you aren't up at 6am doing yoga and scrubbing the house.
I'd be livid if my plans for a lie in were destroyed by some stupid women who can't think for herself

if you fear you might have trouble getting keys back from her or just don’t want to lend them to her ( fair enough) then tell her you don’t have any spare to lend. Maybe she’s overstating other friendships or she’s annoyed them enough already. Some people want someone else to not only do every little thing for them but the thinking and working out how to do every little thing and that is annoying. There is a middle ground between doing nothing and everything. If you were a council tenant you may or may not know the process or contacts to put her on to. In your case you can simply say as a private tenant you don’t know anything about the council side of things and wish her luck/ refer her to the councils website to have a look/ say x may know.

Reply .. sorry that doesn't work for me... bow I'm very busy today.. good luck with getting sorted out ..
And then block
She is far too imposing

Just say sorry I’m busy today so don’t have time to help.. could you try asking your friend/daughter instead

Of course it’s unreasonable of her to phone you so early and for that reason, but the very fact that it is such ridiculous behaviour suggests that she‘s really struggling, so I would be inclined to be kind to her.

Agree!

8.30 is early

Just say sorry you don’t have any to spare. Surely her mates can help her

This was my thought. There is no community at all. Its horrible. Maybe there is more to it. Open the conversation. Is she troubled,.lonely, looking to get to know you and finally has an 'excuse' to open up the communication link.

Growing up, pre 35 I lived in about 30 properities - the community spirit was wonderful - even when we were noisy bastard students.
Ive been in my current house two years and despite my gentle efforts my next door neighbour has just sort of started to speak to me. I moved in on my own when youngest was 8. If I saw that, Id get to know them, pass my number if in case of issues, check in when snowed in and power cuts. Not a hoot or care was given. In my last two homes, as a parent, we all spoke to each other and looked out for each other - cards, gifts, home baking. My neighbour asked if we have had a christmas here yet.... this will be our third. There are no hedges, walls, fences between our front - its these crazy crammed in new developments with drives at the front and our cars almost touch. I cant get my head around it. A neighbour 3 doors down shouted at the kids for playing on the street last summer. 7 or 8 of them playing. I felt sad, I honestly thought moving to one of these developments would have more of a community spirit. Nope.

I would have made an excuse to get off the phone like one of the kids is crying, I can smell something burning, etc. I would jam down my finger on the off button before she could reply. Or just make like you are talking to someone who has interrupted you and walk off and leave it. That lets them know their place in your personal hierarchy without you overtly being rude. Then they will have to whinge to someone else. I hate whinging neighbours. In fact I hate neighbours full stop. The only good one is a dead one.

With late teens grandchildren she must be 60s/70s unless all were very young mums? Maybe she’s lonely or feeling isolated?

She obviously sees you as her friend.

That’s the thing. She’s not.

i see her hanging out with people all the time. She hosts constant dinner parties.

she has a best friend and her husband living in the building. I always see them together 24/7 hanging out.

she always has many people over. I always see her with group of friends.

her daughter is always at hers too.

You obviously come over as a kind, capable and knowledgeable person OP.

Do what you did but do watch for dependency because that’s what happens to me; I collect the confused and incompetent!

I don’t think 8.30am is horribly early but we’re all different.

There might be several reasons for her finding things hard.

I’m still laughing at the poster who told us about the school WhatsApp where everyone was slagging off school and then one said: “Are the kids ack tomorrow?” It seemed to sum up how daft everyone is getting. No need to read or understand anything because you can just ask someone who has and save yourself the trouble!

Anyway, have a good day!

My mother in law started doing things like this, bothering the neighbours with minor problems and getting anxious over little things. It was the beginnings of dementia and she was frightened because she was struggling to cope. She wasn't that old either.