to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

By the time I was ten I used to take a sandwich and cycle a mile or two to a woods where I used to play with my friend, including <shock horror> paddling in the stream and be gone for hours. And this was only in the 00s so I'm not as old as Methuselah or anything.

So I don't quite know why leaving two ten year olds in a cafe for 30 minutes would be a catastrophe.

They would definitely need to be sensible kids though, and not the type to egg eachother on.

I think people saying the OP is crazy are going a bit OTT. There will be children who turned 11 4 days ago making their own way to secondary school this week. I let my 10 year old walk to our local shop on her own so instinctively sitting in a cafe shouldn’t be any different. That said, I’m not sure I’d be as comfortable doing open water swimming outside the cafe. I have no logical reason why but would probably feel better we doing something inside the building.

Oh since I took so long to type that more sensible people joined in! Cool, we can all be in the negligent club together 😁

I think it is fine. I am sure if they do play up the cafe staff will let you know not to do it again.

So, a random cafe with strangers is safer than your home environment?

And yet there’s the other thread with loads of people saying a 12 year old can supervise a 5 year old sibling at the park.

Year 6 no? My son was going out with friends for fast food at that age, so not sure much different? I know fast food different but if well behaved is it an issue? I know of others who were going to cafes for hot chocs at that age with friends. Mum would be 'on site'.

My kids can be dicks so I personally wouldn't, but if we'll behaved I dont see the problem! Id probably check with cafe to let them know.

I honestly think it sounds absolutely fine. At this age, DD and a friend used to take themselves to Pizza Express, order pizza and doughballs and then go to their Saturday activity together. No problems. They were out of their respective houses without any adults for about five hours.

DD is late teens so this wasn't in the distant past or anything.

Is this a serious post? You cannot be for real. How many 10yo's choke in a cafe?! If you don't ever leave your 10yo's to be independent and do things for themselves it is you who is being neglectful. 2 ten year olds should absolutely be able go to a cafe, order some drinks themselves and sit for 30 minutes!

Op, I promise you, for some bizarre reason you have some really really strange responses on this thread.

OF COURSE it’s absolutely fine.

anyone who can’t trust their NT 10 year olds to sit together in a cafe for a half hour with their mum 100m away has gone seriously wrong with their parenting and needs to loosen the reins before their kid gets so far behind the norm. (They already are).

No. Someone needs to be in loco parentis if you’re not there, and in this situation, it’s strangers or staff.

my parents did it loads with me and my sisters; from 6 and up, but times have changed.

This. These kids will be going to secondary school soon.

What do you think strangers in a cafe are going to do with two 10 year olds boys?

I think you can once they are at secondary school and are used to being more independent

Have you not seen how many predatory men are lurking around?

🙄

You can't leave 10 year olds unsupervised in a cafe while you go swim in the lake or whatever. That's fucking nuts.

Have you heard of sex offenders before?

Your best bet is to find another Mum who wants to swim too and each babysit the others DC. In open water it's cold so I get you'd probably only want 20-30 mins in the water.

Why?

Are they year 6 or the oldest year 5s?
I think this is OK, off to secondary school next year!! I think some posters have been very over cautious.
But they should have a phone so they can contact a grandparent or father if there’s one involved incase you drown… less traumatic than having the police trying to track them down, possible emergency fostering etc….

What year are the eh @justkeepswimminginalake? If year six and sensible, then I’d absolutely leave them for half an hour in a cafe. They have to start building independence for high school.

Good Grief.

Their mother is going to be swimming in open water. She won't be able to keep them in her line of vision or hear them.

The staff is not there to be her fucking childcare.

I think this is fine and would do it. But I was home alone in the day from 8 and by ten went swimming, town etc with a friend and no adults. I think the middle school system helped with the gradual transition to independence back in the day

I’m glad that there are some responses along these line now, because I was starting to feel like the worst parent for even considering it. I’m still really off put by the overwhelming negativity and might stick with the home idea (with the promise of being them back cake) but I’m glad to know that I’m not totally crackers and on my own for thinking that a couple of ten year olds can have food and a drink in cafe and entertain themselves for a short period afterwards.