to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

Yes, you would.

Who is supposed to be responsible for them? The staff?

What if you run into trouble swimming?

It's a terrible idea?

Absolutely no way can you leave 2 ten year olds in a cafe while you swim op.

As a fellow mother of twins, not that the number of children is relevant, absolutely the fuck not. What on earth are you thinking????

They are too young. Are the staff meant to look after them?

YABU. They are young enough to still need supervision.

Also, how close is the cafe to the open water? Sounds potentially dangerous.

Sorry, but no, not at that age.

I agree with others and think although they may be fine its not fair on the staff to leave them unattended. If they are sensible they aren't far off being able to stay home alone but even then I'd be uncomfortable not to be in contactable whilst you are in the water.

Sorry, no :( It would probably be fine but you can't just not have anyone there. It's unfair on the staff and other people in the cafe (if anything happened), as well as on your sons.

In 1 year they will be making their own way to school, possibly walking by rivers, canals etc dependent on location.

I'm not personally sure that 2 sensible brothers, in a cafe, eating should be an immediate no.

Are they sensible?

Use their socials to see if there is a single parent support group or set one up so you can buddy up with a few mothers and share care.

Fair enough if that’s the consensus. I used to be dropped off at the local leisure centre at upper primary age to go roller skating with money to get a slush puppy in the cafe afterwards. We’d often bump into people from school doing similar but maybe that was localised to my town, or times have moved on.

No. Sorry, but it’s like the beginning of a TV miniseries where you watch on the edge of your seat as the blonde woman with high cheekbones leisurely enters the dark water…

I think you will get away with it precisely once, before staff speak to you and ask you not to do it again.

No that’s not ok, the cafe isn’t free childcare and if they were old enough to be left unattended then you’d leave them at home.

This with bells on it!!!

how utterly irresponsible what if you drown or something happens to one or both of the twins!

Do you not have any local friends OP? I would happily sit in a cafe with my friends' children for half an hour. Alternatively, a paid babysitter is your best bet.
I would be very shocked if the cafe are okay with you leaving such young children unattended there while you go swimming to be honest.

That was dropping you off to do a child centered activity with appropriate staff around. Not being left in a cafe so your parents could go swim. But yeah times have changed

There’s a wristband system with a manned gate to make sure people have paid so they couldn’t access the water.

I think it’s fine. How long are you swimming for?

They're old enough to walk home from school so why not

Also there's 2 of them. They will take care of each other. I'd be fine with it.

I don't think it's as crazy an idea as people are making out.......

Times have moved on I'm afraid - though I'm early 40s and definitely was never left anywhere away from home with no adults when still in primary school

Staff would not be happy with this at all

"What if you drown" has to be the weirdest argument against doing this.

Having worked at that leisure centre when I was at school, they weren’t in any kind of caring role and weren’t looking out for the kids at all. They were mostly bored teenagers.

Id aim to start next spring. Give this winter a swerve and go swimming in a pool with them, I think you’re then ok to do this next spring when a few months later they’ll be getting trains or buses to school by themselves, walking through town and quite happily stop at McDonalds or whatever on the way home.

Would it be any different if your twins went to a local cafe and you stayed at home? I dont understand the fuss especially those saying its not the staff's job.... they aren't childminding, the children are 10 ffs.