to leave ten year old twins in a cafe while I swim?

[justkeepswimminginalake]

I’m a single parent to ten year old twins and I was hoping to start open water swimming again. There’s a swimming lake near me which has an onsite cafe and I was thinking about leaving the boys in the cafe by themselves while I swim. We’ve been to the cafe a few times and it’s fairly chilled, mostly swimmers (and their friends/families), young families and old people. It’s also next door to the reception area for the swimming lakes so if they feel uncomfortable there’s somewhere else they can go.

Would I be unreasonable to order them breakfast and a drink and leave them there for half an hour while I swim. They’re generally pretty sensible and I’d pack Yotos with headphones, and some games and books for them to entertain themselves. There’s no one else who can take them.

me and my friend use to leave our 8 and 10yo children watching us do aqua aerobics from the cafe one evenings a Week.
they had iPads a snack and a drink.

it was fine.

2 sensible children should be able to sit in a cafe for 30 minutes at that age.

Good grief. They are ten not two. They will be going to high school in a year so what could possibly be wrong with leaving them in a cafe TOGETHER. No wonder kids have no resilience these days.

I was going to cafes with friends from age 10. Late 00s, all from naice sensible families. Seemed very normal at the time. No ill befell us!

I'm on the YANBU side. Honestly, these scenarios people are imagining are ridiculous. And, I can't see how leaving them at home alone could possibly be safer than leaving them in a cafe. If you have sensible children, they understand what to do in various emergencies, and understand "stranger danger" then go for it. I despair of how mollycoddled people are with some children now.

Can you book them into an activity there, whilst you swim?

I suppose it might be a bit traumatic for them if you drown, OP ... but apart from that, it sounds fine to me.

I think it’s fine. I used to get dropped of at age 8 with my friends to go to the swimming pool. 8 year olds were allowed in unsupervised.
if the kids are sensible then I don’t see the issue. At 10 my dd was walking to the shop or outside playing with her friends.

In this day and age?

Certainly not.

This thread is wild. I do similar with my 8 year old. He sits and waits while I have a sauna and a dip then we have lunch together. He is totally fine for 30mins sitting chilling. Better than leaving him at home and I would have to rush back.

🤣🤣

Year 6 and sensible? I'd say that's fine personally. My only concern (and I say this as the parent of now 15 yr old twin boys) would be if the two of them either had an argument or got a bit 'silly' and started mucking about and annoying other cafe users. But if you're confident they won't do that then I think it's fine :-)

I’m not understanding the first few responses!! It’s surely absolutely fine? I would imagine safer than the ten years olds going to the park etc in their own which surely people allow their ten year olds to do?!?

op , do it, I don’t get the responses at all.

Lots of weird answers. My ten year old goes to cafes with his friends (and even manages to order food and drinks!) I’m at home!
They might be happier at home but as long as they are buying something in the cafe I don’t see a problem for half an hour.
Does everyone else really think 10 is too young to be in a cafe alone? Aren’t they walking to school, playing out etc?

Yeah 8 is y3 or y4 which is also not ok

Is this a joke?

Why on earth not?

If they’re sensible of course it’s fine. They’ll be at senior school in a year. Why would another adult need to be actively responsible for half an hour? They’ll sit there, eat and chat surely.

My 10yr old goes to the local cafe with her friends for lunch completely on her own. Ignore the fretters op, safe independence is a good thing to teach children. And there’s a massive lack of it in UK.

This. At that age children are old enough to go out and about on their own. Make sure they have a phone incase there is an emergency, talk them through anything they may need to know and they will be absolutely fine

I'm in a minority but I don't see the problem with doing this. My 10 year old could be left in a cafe for 30 mins, surely most could!?!?

My 10 year old walks to and from school, stays home alone after school (some days, just for 45 mins max) goes to the shop alone, asks for from shop assistants if he can't find something, plays out unsupervised with his friends, rides his bike places, can vacuum (badly), can cook a (very) little bit, and could be trusted to behave in a cafe while eating a bacon roll without me by his side! I consider these all the sort of minimum of what a 10 year old can do!!

I'd go for it and would think nothing of another mum doing the same. We're in a minority though it seems...

At ten years old? For crying out loud, they’re off to secondary soon at that age! People on this thread need a reality check, they’re not five!

I truly don’t expect supervision. I was basing it on how my friend I I would be at the leisure centre cafe alone at a similar age and we didn’t need supervision and the thought came when one of them asked to go to that cafe this weekend because he like their cakes.

Home is an option, but the length of time alone would be considerably longer. The round trip is 40-50 minutes, without swimming time. They could also have my old phone which they could call me on (I have a dry bag in my tow float so can have my phone with me and audible even if I can’t answer) and if they called I could be with them in under two minutes vs half an hour. I hadn’t thought of giving them the phone or I’d have put that in my OP.

Totally different. YOU were in an enclosed space with friends. Your parents hadn't gone off swimming in lakes and leaving you.Jeez

I’d ask the cafe, it completely depends on the children and if they can behave while waiting though.

Perhaps ask the cafe staff if they happy for it to happy without them being responsible?
But yes, my 10 year old is walking to home from school. If they are trustworthy and staff are ok then yes.