DH wants my birthday presents back

[BeRedUser]

So a few days ago I bought 2 nice creams for a total of £50 with some birthday money I was given for my 40th. My dad specifically gave me some money amongst a sentimental present for me to buy something for me only as he knows I don’t do that very often. So I thought I’d treat myself as im on maternity leave and don’t socialise or go shopping any more (actually haven’t done since pre kids in 2021). I’m completely sleep deprived for the past 5 years.
Anyways my DH answered the door and asked what the parcel was, I told him and he went mad. he said how incredibly stupid I was spending that much money on creams. I know it is expensive but I don’t go to salons or anything for facials and I feel crap after having kids so I thought it might just perk me up and feel less tired. DH said how dare I spend that money while I’m mat leave and it should be going towards the bills (bearing in mind 100% of my salary goes on bills
and I have no money of my own afterwards). He took the box away, put it in his car to return it.
Now he says he wants my birthday presents back that he gave me (Garmin watch and an led mask) which I did put back in the box for him. So i am feeling rather sad, I’m left with nothing for myself from my birthday, all we did on the day was go to our usual down the road restaurant, he didn’t make much of an effort on the day.

I feel like divorcing this prick now. I wish my dad knew that his money that he specifically gave to me is going in my DH pocket. Dad should have just given it to him directly instead of me.

Am i being ungrateful and a spoilt brat?

thanks

I can’t believe what I’ve just read. I’m so sorry OP. I feel so upset for you. How dare he. I wouldn’t have given him the creams back - that’s your dad’s money.
I agree with the others. It’s emotional abuse and I would absolutely divorce him over this.

Please get yourself and your children away from him, can you go stay with your dad?

Tell your dad what he's done and see how this abusive pig behaves when a man confronts him.

Unless there's some huge backstory, where you have blown thousands of joint money and are in massive debt or something similar, then this is financial abuse, and you should leave him - you can't live the rest of your life like this.

Why don't you have any money of your own? Why does 100% of your money go on bills? Does his too? If he has even a single penny of his own money that you don't have the equivalent of, then this is abuse, and you need to make plans to get out

He says I’m a liar and stealing our joint money. I tried to keep it a secret as I knew this would happen. Yes surprise surprise this kind of stuff has happened before. He loves to confiscate things from me.

Where do these monsters come from?

Sounds like theft to me...those possessions are yours

He's a complete cunt and needs to be told that. Prick

He is the breadwinner so my contribution to the joint bills is about 40%, he does pay more… because he gets paid more than me.

If he wants things back, give him your wedding ring!!!

If he treats you like this he is not you”Dear” husband.

He shouldn’t be your husband either.

He's not actually the Boss of your household, you know?

Seriously the only advice is to leave him, he's an abuser and he won't change.

Start making plans to get the hell out of there asap. This is abuse and you need to show your kids it is not acceptable.

Everything everyone else has said about your DH is true @BeRedUser and he is teaching your kids to be abusive bullies too.

I’m so sorry he took away your presents, the miserable, grabby sod.

edited for typo

He needs fucking snapping in half

Tell him what your dad said and tell him you are h b going to say to your dad what he’s done.

Then consider your relationship. I get if money is tight then he might be worried but you discuss it, not you are shouted and forced to hand it over.
And you need some general spending money normally- as much as him at least.

easier said than done. I have a 3 mo baby and 3 kids under 5, on maternity leave. Where do I go? After this I’d love to but staying for the kids really.

What sort of evil man demands his wife's birthday presents as well as her birthday money from her Dad? What a bastard.

Oh yes. You are totally spoilt 🙄

Honey, need to leave him

We’re all saying pretty much the same thing - you do know you deserve better, right?

You should LEAVE for the kids.

This doesn't make sense to me.
He spends money on a Garmin watch and LED mask (which correct if I'm wrong would cost far more than £50) and then is bothered you spent £50 on creams with money you dad gave you?!

Either way he is obviously abusive and you shouldn't tolerate that.

So he's stolen from you (twice), dictates how you spend your money, doesn't let you have any money outside of what you spend on bills, think it's OK to call you names and degrade you, and thinks it's OK, and to top it all off he couldn't be bothered to take his pregnant wife out for a meal on her birthday...
Surely op, you know you deserve more than this.???

First step is talk to your Dad

The kids won’t thank you for staying in this situation 🙄