Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

So to address a few things..
I absolutely did not mean that we approach this man in person. As I said he is senior to us and my manager. When he is in the building he is the most senior person there. I think it would be very awkward because he would know it’s obviously us complaining.
He use to work in main HQ site and only started coming to our site more recently. Before that, we would see him once a year at Xmas party. Our office is largish, he has separate office in our office. So he goes to the loo, comes out ( leaves the door open which we close) then walks across the room to his office and closes the door.
We are left dealing with the stench from the loo.
We will ask maintenance management about the extractor fan. I think it comes on and off with the light. Something needs to be done about that.
And for the love of god he does not have stoma. And no, I did not see him naked, someone else did and that’s why he is in our office 3-4 days a week! So please stop going on about stoma.

We would actually quite happily go downstairs to the loo ( there is only 3 people downstairs and loo is completely secluded) and it’s not far at all. But that’s not going to solve the issue of the smell in the office after he goes to the loo.
You would just think he would be courteous enough to go downstairs himself same like other woman and men do when working in our office and need to do no2.

We had someone in my workplace who smelled incredibly bad. He got diagnosed with a bowel condition, got treated, and it's been so much better. I wouldn't make too big a deal of it for that reason, but might make an argument that more loos are needed on the floor for the number of staff. At least that gives you options.

You're accusing me of misogyny while I'm seeing misandry. It's that more acceptable behaviour?

Get your manager to crack on. It isn’t fair that he’s preventing 15 people from using the loo so frequently throughout the day, regardless of any condition he may have. If, like I was, he’s very overweight, he is possibly needing the loo more often than someone who doesn’t eat as much. When I was eating too much, I needed to get rid of the resultant poo quite frequently.

So, what exactly do you intend to do? You've had a lot of practical advice on here such as getting the extractor sorted and using the downstairs loo or are you just going to continue gossiping behind his back or worse still, saying something to him. Has it occurred to you he could have Crohns Diease and wouldn't get to the disabled loo in time? Your behaviour is pretty immature and awful when there are practical steps that can easily be taken.

Why is it ok for the three people downstairs to be exposed to his stench but not you?

'If hes going frequently then he may have a medical condition which he doesnt have to tell anyone in the office about'

Doesn't matter. Loads of people have medical conditions, you still consider others when using shared facilities.

4 times a day is normal if you have Crohn's disease which I suspect this man does. Poor fella.

I mean, what can you do? He's not forcing them out for fun, it's the only bathroom and he clearly has a digestive issue. Is there an extractor fan in the bathroom? If not you could speak to your facilities manager about whether such a thing can be installed, but I don't think you can approach your colleague about it.

What exactly do you expect him to do about the smell of using the bathroom for its intended purposes? There is no mention that he isn’t leaving the toilet clean.

I'm intrigued how someone from a different office seeing him naked means you are now certain he doesn't have a stoma. Have you been in contact with this person to ask them? Are you discussing his toilet habits beyond the 15 people already involved in the conversation in your office?

If the disabled loo is cleaner and fresher, I'd start using that one myself. And get onto your employer about the non-working extractor, as that would help things a lot. Its horrible, but not much you can do, he's not doing it intentionally, and as others have said, may have bowel issues he's not going to share with work colleagues.

If everyone else goes downstairs to poo, it should be possible to convey this with a tactful comment from whoever gets on with him best, plus notices in the loos.

You don't have enough toilets. For 15+ people you should have 2. Iirc it's actually in regs/acop

Get the disabled changed to Gents and disabled and get the office one changed to Ladies.

And get the extractor fan fixed!

This.

Does the downstairs disabled toilet have a window? If so, it could be suggested that that toilet needs to be used if anyone isn’t just peeing as it has better ventilation. Also the window (if there is one) in there could be left slightly open.

She's said the downstairs is separate from the work area. This man is stinking the whole of the op's office out. He's either lazy, stupid, inconsiderate or all 3.

Just tell him op. In a kind considerate way like you would a small child 'please use the downstairs facilties it's really unpleasant they we are all subjected that'.

You say one of the women has seen him naked, suggesting an affair. Why can't she be the one to tell him @Standingupstream

Whilst I agree in part, equally depending on how many people there are in the office, one loo is probably not enough? I do feel for the man as something isn’t right, but surely one toilet is therefore not enough. Sometimes on my time of the month I have a need to almost run to the toilet - it would make me anxious if it was in use so much (less so about the smell - kind of need to suck it up).

Well you’re suggesting the man uses this one. You’ve also said he uses it for 30 mins at a time so what do you propose anyone who needs the disabled toilet does during that period?

Whether this man has a condition or disability or not, OP and her colleagues shouldn't need to sit in this rancid smell and use the toilet downstairs. He has absolutely no respect for his fellow workers.

He could easily use the loo downstairs but he chooses not to.

For those giving it 'poor man'. Poor man fucking nothing. He's a disrespectful cunt!!

How does someone ensure they leave a toilet fresh smelling if it doesn't have adequate ventilation?

This, and get your awful management to build another toilet, 2 between 15, no extractor, no window is gross,

I don't think you are at all unreasonable to object to spending your working days in a miasma of the stench from your colleague's bowel motions. l wouldn't be too worried about his feelings either because, rather than using the loo downstairs, he chooses to subject his colleagues to the stench. He must know that the stench permeates the entire area. It seems he is not in the slightest abashed though. Given that everybody at times might on some odd occasion be in this situation, I'd think most reasonable people would try to deal with it. At home, we might open the window, turn on the fan, use air freshener, light a match and so on or not use the main family bathroom. He didn't use the sachets provided. Honestly, this man knows that he is a stench hazard and he doesn't care.

Yes,he might have a disability, but that doesn't trump other people's rights to a working environment reeking with the contents of his colo. Let's say you have somebody who has a mental illness that makes them cause harm by, lets say, uncontrollably attempting to stab all men with blonde curly hair. It might not be their fault - a horrible accident of brain chemistry - but nobody is suggesting that men with blonde curly hair should put up with being stabbed "because their attacker has a disability and it's not their fault." If your colleague has bowel motions this frequently, which smell this bad, I would think he would qualfiy as a user of the disabled loo on any reasonable basis. Frankly, management should encourage him to work from home on a permanent basis.

I fail to see how the women all trouping downstairs to the disabled loo would remove the stench when this entitled man installs himself in the nearest loo and lets loose. They would just be going out of their way to return to an office with stench of their colleague wafting through the premises.

I think the poo smell is the least of the worries in this situation. You sound awful.