Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Well as I said it’s a disabled loo It’s fitted for use with the wheelchair too. I’m just flabbergasted that people are saying we should actually use that loo

I was going to suggest pooper swooper until you mentioned the satchets. However if you know his habit is to go 30 mins after he has arrived can one of you add the satchet a short while before? This way you can find out if it is a further issue or if the satchet will work.

If the satchet works one of you is goi g to have a very direct. "Hey Tom when you go to the loo going forward can you make sure you use the satchet as its rather hammy after you have been and that will clear it. Thanks."

As for the separate toilet issue

Employers in the UK must provide separate toilet facilities for men and women, unless each toilet is in a separate, fully enclosed room with a lockable door from the inside

I also share a toilet with others at my work place however everyone is very respectful and use sprays to avoid this issue and the fa. Works so its not a issue.

The something wrong can be IBS 1.in 5 in the UK are affected by it.

If there’s no window in there how is he supposed to get rid of the smell? As you’ve said, air fresheners often make the smell worse. My husband and I both have bowel disease (different types) and can spend a ridiculous amount of time in the bathroom and, yes, it often smells awful. Luckily we have more than one toilet in the house so we’re not inflicting that on other people! I have been in a situation at work where I was quite poorly. I couldn’t get in the disabled toilet because a male colleague had gone in with his newspaper so had to go in the ladies. I was mortified when a queue built up and everyone was ‘whispering’ about who could be in the stall, why there were taking so long and even spraying body sprays etc. I ended up staying in there until they all left. It’s a horrible condition that can take over your life and if anyone had mentioned it to me at work I’d have been really upset. Like what happened to a PP you just don’t know when/if you’re going to develop it yourself out of the blue and I’m sure you’d like people to be respectful and sympathetic towards you if you did

What is pooper swooper? Our loo is just one small room, you walk in and lock the door. I mean entire office can hear you in there so it’s not a lot of privacy

I can poo way more than that on a bad day, I’d class four times as a good day!

Can you email HR with a very brief factual note requesting someone from maintenance checks the extractor fan in the loo.

and put a sign up in the loo on how to use the sachets

if you mention briefly there is a problem with odours coming from the toilet into the wider office space and it is unpleasant to work in, hopefully they’ll be sympathetic (no need to mention the culprit!)

https://amzn.eu/d/07HQFwFp. Couldn't find the brand I mentioned but there are plenty out there. Lu-mist is another.

Its a spray that's layers over the water and traps the smell in. They do work. (If people use them)

If you think he isn't aware that you are all discussing his "issue" then you will be very much mistaken.
Believe me he will know.

Describing it as a "running joke" when you no nothing about his circumstances (and yes he may have a stoma) is just plain cruel. It puts me in mind of school bullies whispering and giggling "behind someone's back" assuming the person they are referring to doesn't know or feel the hurt.

Ask management to fix the extractor fan ASAP !

"Ok so you are seriously suggesting 15 woman using disabled loo because one man who might have some condition won’t?"

I'm not sure if this is ableist or sexist.

Why should this man have to use the disabled toilet? He might have a condition like IBS but does t sound disabled in any way and having a penis does not entitle him to use the disabled toilet.

Yes, in which case the OP can't say anything about it as it can be classed as a disability, depending on different factors, under the UK equality act.

You sound absolutely pathetic.

If the toilet on your floor is occupied and makes you feel ill then of course you go downstairs and use the other toilet available.

I have a disability (blue badge too). And if I worked in your office I wouldn’t give a fuck which able bodied colleagues used the disabled toilet if the other one was occupied for 30+ minutes at a time.

Grow the fuck up!

@PrincessofWills summed up perfectly. OP, your thoughts are really insensitive and I am surprised, that as an adult that you cannot fathom that some people have bodily issues outwith their control and that they will be very aware of this themselves. I speak from experience, something you are lacking as well as a good dose of empathy. Your post reads like you are a young and very immature adult.

Disclaimer. Generalising here
In my experience people with IBS are paranoid about leaving smells so satchets if available would be used.

I carry one of those sprays in my bag as I know I get caught out at times. And like @Needtocomeupwithabetterusername 4 is a good day.

You say you dont want to use the disabled loo incase a disabled person needs it.
If he knows he will be in there for half hour, thats the reason he doesnt use it surely?

How do you know he doesnt have a stoma? Unless you have seen him naked, you wouldnt know

I mean, you said he spends ages in the loo multiple times a day so it might be worse if he was to use the disabled one rather than the women. Also, the fact your DH is banished to the spare loo sounds a little bit controlling, sorry.

I had 2 decades of IBS - it was a nightmare. He cannot help needing to go more often, whatever the reason. When you've got to go, you've got to go.

And unfortunately shit smells.

You need t speak to your boss about mending the extractor fan.

Just to clarify - a disabled loo is not just for someone with a disability. It is just a loo that happens to be adapted for someone with a disability. It does not mean no-one else can use it!

@Standingupstream what is the reasoning behind your point about it being mainly women working in the office and using this loo, and the fact the loo user is a man? As that reads strongly that you are comfortable to use the shared loo with women but when this man visits on occasion, you don’t like it. Would you have the same complaint if it was one of the women you share an office with?

There is absolutely no way on Earth I could tolerate the unventilated stink of someone's shit 4 times a day. You are being ridiculous to suggest that this is ok. OP has said there's a different toilet available downstairs. Why the hell should these wonen out up with this ignorant man imposing his odor on them. He's completely out of order. What the hell is he thinking?

OP, I suggest you raise this with HR, or your employer. For a start it sounds like the toilet is in breach of building regs. It has to be ventilated. I am a union H and S rep. Do not put up with this.

Well you might have to explain that to another poster who said that this man might have IBS and that doesn’t make it disability so he shouldn’t use disabled loo

Thank you. I feel like I’m in alternate universe. Why on earth 15 people need to tolerate this. If I had medical issues like IBS there is no way I would subject my co-workers to that and I would actually want to remove my self to a loo where is more privacy.

More than likely a medical condition. I don't agree with with communal toilets shared with males though , but usually because of urine mishaps.

Where do you expect the man to do his ablutions then? He's using the toilet for it's intended purpose - to shit in.

Maybe its because I grew up with one bathroom and three brothers who stunk out the loo but I honestly don't find poo smell that bad. Spraying air freshener just makes it worse imo.