Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

I’m with OP and also saying this as someone who lives with a person who has a stoma. Yes, that may mean frequent toilet visits, but stoma or other gastro issue aside is absolutely no reason to leave the loo uninhabitable for others for half an hour plus!
Maybe a bottle of bleach and some VIP poo spray left strategically may give a hint and might help?!

He isn't using women's facilities? It's a unisex toilet.

Why is it a race to the bottom on this thread (no pun intended)? @JJWT is absolutely right. I can’t believe this thread and all the people defending this man. There’s no way the OP should have to put up with this. This man is incredibly inconsiderate whether he has an illness or not. He should be using the downstairs loo. Also the OP’s work is at fault here, there aren’t enough toilets for the number of people who work there.

100% this!

And 100% this too. I despair for humanity at 'I don't find the smell of poo that bad!' I don't know a single living human who enjoys the stench of a random man's shit. Come on!

Thank you @Ved At last someone can see my point of view. Imagine a woman holding up 15 blokes while she sits in the loo for 30 minutes. They'd soon have her going downstairs wouldn't they. Just get HR to deal with this man.!!!!

A few thoughts on this @Standingupstream

Disabled toilets are called accessible toilets now because are accessible for those that need them. This would include this scenario. Everyone needs a better ventilated toilet than this office one. However, if the man is physically unable to get to the secluded accessible toilet in time, then he will need to use the unisex toilet in the office.

I am surprised the accessible toilet is secluded as they pose a risk to safety. They should have a pull cord for emergencies and it is best they lead on to a high traffic area. For those saying accessible toilets have to have a radar key - they do not, but radar keys have been used to reduce sex, drugs and other misuse that such private, mixed sex toilets attract.

There is a hygiene problem in that flush plumes cover the sink and handle inside smaller unisex toilets. Men don’t wash their hands as often as women so that’s a problem too (scientifically proven).

The reason traditional single sex toilets within a single sex washroom have a gap below and above the doors and partitions is that they are best for health and safety - ventilation, cleaning, supervision and prevention of misuse. Natural ventilation is better than mechanical ventilation.

But when there’s only one toilet in the office that is going to be unisex. However, like pp have said, this needs to be ventilated sufficiently. https://www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/indg293.pdf

The toilet at present is causing health issues. Woman are affected. They are more likely to need a toilet due to biological reasons. Some women may need a toilet close by because of menstrual flooding etc. So the problem needs sorting. The toilet is being made inhospitable for long periods of the day.

If a window can not be put in, then the mechanical ventilation needs to be upgraded. It needs to be on a timer so it goes on for a longer time to clear the air. The lock must show that the toilet is engaged but have a way of being opened from the outside (outwards) if anyone is in difficulty. The door must be kept shut at all times. It would be best that the door is not too resistant to sound in this case in case the occupant needs help. Rules about keeping the door closed etc could be put in writing on the door.

There are building regulations on toilets and ventilation rates, if you need to go down this route.

I don’t know what country you are in but for England the Approved Document for toilets is:
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/6901feb971b575684c3cf7c4/ADT_2024_rev16Jun25.pdf

The ventilation one is called Approved Document F and can be googled too.

Infantile.

Poo talk is just so childish. Use another toilet if it's that bad.

My father in law had one and yes it was incredibly pungent when he went to the bathroom.

I think that you have many issues in the office.
You don’t know who your manager is. One moment he isn’t, the next he is.
You don’t know how many women work on your floor. First it’s the majority of people, then all are 15 are women trekking 20 seconds to the lower floor.
Your floor has a single cubicle loo where everyone can hear what goes on inside and time the amount of time that they spend in there.
You are confident that he doesn’t have a stoma because someone in another office had sex with him, which the whole office knows about. This isn’t unusual, but it would be very wrong if his sex partner declared that he had a stoma. If you would expect that this would’ve been shared there is much more going wrong than the usual ‘banter’ which you’ve both said happens but also denied happens.

He does sound very inconsiderate though. OP has said that the toilet door opens directly into their office and he always leaves the toilet door wide open after he's used it. However, he has his own office and he shuts that door so isn't affected by the smell that he has made.

The fact that he is only working in OP's office to avoid the woman that he had an affair with seems to add insult to injury.

I presume that OP and the other women in the office do use the disabled toilet if they need the toilet after he has just used it. However, he leaves the toilet door wide open after he has used the toilet so the smell engulfs the whole office. He has his own office and he always shuts that door so he isn't affected by the smell.

I can’t wait 5 seconds, if I don’t get to the loo in a second,it’s too late.
sady, you don’t understand the issues with IBD. Which is completely different to IBS.

Ask if that toilet can be designated female only. Then he'll need to go downstairs.

If his poo is very frequent and stinky then I think you know he has a medical or an undiagnosed health issue. I don't think you can say anything without causing embarrassment and/or harassment.. Just use the loo downstairs if you need to.

You could ask your employer facilities management person if they can provide separate male and female facilities ( but they may feel unisex is adequate) , or if not, improve ventilation with a mechanical ventilator.in a shared facility.

He doesn't rush, he stops to chat en route to the toilet! He clearly doesnt have urgency which would be the norm with bowel disease.

The loo opens directly into the office area. I've no idea why some think him subjecting them all to the after effects of his smelly dump is ok when there is another option.

So many enabling his lazy, absolutely inconsiderate behaviour.

Have you actually read the thread?

This is clearly not the issue with this man if he is able to drop and chat on his way to the loo, is it!

You don’t seem to understand the difference between ‘enabling lazy absolutely inconsiderate behaviour’ and treading very carefully in light of the fact that there may be a disability there - the fact that there is no urgency doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem. And if there is, a lot of what you and a couple of other posters have suggested would absolutely be unlawful under the Equality Act 2010. You can’t ask an employee if they have a medical condition, even if you suspect it. OP and her colleagues are already on shaky ground having asked a colleague who has ‘seen him naked’ if there is a disability. Even if there was, it is not their information to disclose. And you can’t force an employee to use a particular toilet. The most sensible suggestion is the one OP has followed - a blanket complaint about the toilet facilities, not singling anyone out. Which OP’s manager is taking forward.

But the fact that there is no urgency doesn’t mean there are no issues at all.

It's very convenient OP only said that after 20+ pages despite many people mentioning possible urgency issues.

Even if that is correct, there may be other medical reasons as to why the nearest toilet works best for him.

'You don’t seem to understand the difference between ‘enabling lazy absolutely inconsiderate behaviour’ and treading very carefully in light of the fact that there may be a disability there - the fact that there is no urgency doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem.'

We've been told repeatedly by some if he has a medical condition he will have urgency he must go to the nearest loo or he will soil himself.

The op says he takes his time though, he doesn't dash he stops to chat en route! This is all relevant, inconvenient to those supporting his gross habits but relevant nonetheless

He can therefore take the 20secs to go further rather than subject them all to the after effects of his dump by using the toilet that does not open directly into the workplace.

If you read OP’s comments, she says that the entire office smells after he’s been - not just the bathroom.

So your advice is based on the personal experience of a couple of posters. No medical condition affects any two people in exactly the same way. Some bowel conditions involve urgency, some don’t. It could also be that he’s taking medication for an entirely different condition that makes his poo smell so bad.

There is clearly a problem which is affecting the rest of the staff, and it needs to be sorted. But that doesn’t mean people can go wading in asking personal questions and insisting he uses a different toilet, on the assumption that there is no disability and he’s just an inconsiderate pig. I’m stunned that OP and her colleagues actually asked someone who’s seemingly had an affair with this man, whether or not he has a disability. That’s not their information to share either way.

'So your advice is based on the personal experience of a couple of posters. No medical condition affects any two people in exactly the same way. Some bowel conditions involve urgency, some don’t'

Yes I get that. The thing is many people have excused what he is doing by saying he'll soil himself, he must have urgency. He clearly doesnt therefore he should show some consideration and use a toilet that doesn't open directly into the work area. Stop enabling his very poor manners. Raise your bar a bit.