Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Had the same problem at work a few years back. The loo was right by the kitchen area as well. Same man, every morning and it reeked. There was another loo avaliable just down the corridor, which male students used when training courses were running. He knew we found it unpleasant and seemed to take a perverse pleasure in using the 'kitchen' loo . I spoke with my female manager and basically campaigned for separate male and female loos. The other men also piddled on the seat and on the floor. Took a while, but we got there eventually. There were only about 12 of us in the office, roughly split 50/50. Try escalating it to line manager or HR. He is the one that should be using the other loo. Most men and women have different sensibilities around using a loo.

That’s quite a lot of people for one loo. Surely there should always be two loos anyway. What if two members of the team had IBS, period poos, bowel disease? I’d complain (you don’t even need to mention the man).

She also says they can't use the toilet for 30 mins after he has been in so it's not just about the smell in the office.

As someone with Crohn’s disease, it makes me so upset reading posts like this. I honestly HATE going at work. Trying to decide which toilet to use, having people know I’m going for a no.2 if I go in the disabled or feeling judged by those that don’t know of my disability. Hating the thought of someone going in after me. Wondering if I can make it upstairs to a quieter floor etc. The thought of people talking above me after. Just awful.

Yes 🙌 after surgery my toileting habits are now different. We never know what people are going through ❤️

I'm a woman and really struggle with my stomach. When I need to go, I NEED to go and the smell isn't pleasant.

But guess what? Nobody's shit smells of daisies and I can guarantee yours doesn't either. Get over yourself.

So you're happy with disabled people having to wait for the smell to disperse rather than you having to go downstairs occasionally?

"Management should require him to work from home on a permanent basis"

Good luck with that on a legal standing. Thank fuck I'm retired.

Honestly all these posts about medical conditions, yes he may have a digestive issue, or just a bad diet. It doesn't matter the effect is the same.

When there is one toilet practically in the office where everyone else has to suffer the after effects of a smelly poo or one downstairs that is separate from the work are you use that one!

Where's the misandry?? I'll help you - there's none. This person is being disrespectful to their colleagues leaving them to sit in their shitey fog.

Ugh OP I feel your pain. I’ve had a similar situation twice before at work. Although just to caution, one time I went into the tiny shared office loo and found literal poo smeared on the wall and was so disgusted I put up a small (and what I thought was polite) note about keeping the toilet clean inside the cubicle. I was almost immediately called in for a meeting with a senior manager and told off because someone in the office had a stoma and they felt I was targeting them - which I 100% wasn’t!! I tried to explain I’d found poo smeared in a horrific way all over the wall, hence the note, but was told it was inappropriate to put it up as it had upset someone (even though the issue I was writing the note about wasn’t connected to them!)

The manager needs to address this, it's unfair on everyone. No one with half a brain cell would build office toilets without windows or a working extractor fan, they need another toilet built.

I've always felt like this about needing the loo at work, without Crohn' disease. Think a lot of women do. Turn ourselves inside out over it. Ridiculous. Men don't give it a second thought! 🤗

Why do I need to 'get over myself'. I'm not the one leaving a terrible stench in the toilet four times a day.

When I've been to the loo in a public place I use post poo drops to ensure the smell isn't going to choke the person using the toilet after me.

It's always men with their appalling toilet etiquette isn't it <sorry for sexism but it's true >. I used to do some cleaning yonks ago in my student days and omg the mens toilets just bleurgh.
I wonder why it is, some seem oblivious to their mess and stenches .

Where's my misogyny? You've called this bloke a disrespectful cunt so it's clear how you are approaching him. I wonder if you'd be talking about him the same if he was a woman.

Is it as simple as putting a sign on the door saying number 2s are for downstairs?

What do you suggest for disabled women if the adapted toilet is for men only?

Because the problem is the stench across the office - it’s not limited to the toilet.

Because the loo is not in the office but in a secluded part of the building

Is this man aware that there is a toilet (the disabled one) on another floor that he can use? He is certainly aware that he stinks the whole office out. The whole office full of women. Yet still he stinks it out. I'd say he's getting off on inconveniencing the women and enjoying their disgust. Unfortunately I found this out the hard way.

But knowing that your colleagues will smell it whilst they are in the office, most people would try to make it to the alternative if possible.

Gossiping women - the old misogynistic stereotype...

Labeling a woman a "gossip" shames her into silence and invalidates her perspective before she even speaks

And yes, if it was a woman she would also be a disrespectful cunt.

I'm afraid you're bringing a potato masher to a gunfight.

I don't think people are saying that OP should put up and shut up. They're saying she can't approach the man about this because it is likely that there is not much he can do about it, and because really it is office management they should approach about their inadequate toilet facilities and inadequate ventilation. Also, she could use the downstairs toilet.

I think it would be unreasonable to ask him to use the downstairs loo- he might have a condition that means he has to rush to the loo.

Your management needs to sort out the ventilation.