Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

If my workplace is anything to go by, this would be best handled by passive aggressive signs stuck up everywhere. Preferably laminated.

I hope you know it’s perfectly fine for an able bodied person to use a disabled toilet at work if there is only one other toilet available in the whole building.

But everyone had to function together.

If he does have an issue, he could and should be sensitive to the impact that will have on others.

I have an issue and am very aware, both at home and out of the home. I try to manage accordingly.

The only times my poo leaves an unbearable smell (according to my H) is after a heavy night with alcohol. And there’s plenty of visits to the bathroom that day. Fortunately, it’s only once in a while. Could he be a regular drinker?

It could be mentioned that as he likes to spend 30 minutes or so in the bathroom each time, could he possibly use the downstairs toilet as it’s causing queues.

Also ask for the fan to be fixed.

Your office is breaking the law by failing to provide single sex toilets.

The obvious temporary solution is to repurpose the downstairs toilet as male/disabled. That's what we did when we had a shortage and a sex imbalance. It's perfectly acceptable to do this, especially if the disabled toilet isn't routinely needed by someone with accessibility issues. Label the toilets accordingly and send round an email noting that, in order to comply with H&S law, toilets are single sex from next Monday.

But perhaps you could also ask for better ventilation in the upstairs toilet and a review as to whether more toilets should be provided.

The point about a loo for disabled people is that it can be used by disabled people as it’s big enough for a wheelchair, and has a rail, an emergency cord and a low sink. Thse adaptations don’t mean that nobody else can use it.

That said, your employer should be getting the extractor fan fixed.

Absolutely this ⬆️

I’d have to use the disabled loo. Is the loo the problem though, it seems more to be the odour remaining in the actual office you are working in.
I would think how can he not know…. he’s going an inordinate amount of times per day isn’t he? There must be a medical condition surely to god! I know you don’t want to embarrass him but how can he NOT know.

What about an email to say that number twos need to be done in the downstairs disabled loo due to bad ventilation. Get a fan and point it at the door! Get a can of air freshener.
Realistically the loo needs better ventilation, 2 flushes, if he’s in there ten mins he’s ’sitting on it’ that’s not going to help!

Though several people are suggesting “go to HR”, this is a facilities management issue, not an employment issue, so it’s not something to take to HR.

It’s for management to pick up and deal with as a facilities issue, whether that’s by resolving the set duration that the extractor fan is on, or getting it upgraded to a stronger, more effective extractor fan.

Ensuring that there’s adequate and suitable toilet provision for the building’s occupancy, in line with the Workplace Regulations 1992 is also a facilities management issue, not an HR issue.

Accessible toilets, like the one you have downstairs, are suitable for use by people with disabilities, but aren’t exclusively for use by those with disabilities, so of course that’s what you should use if the one on your floor is occupied or not currently fit to use.

Now what you don’t want to do is have a collective revolt against your male colleague using the loo on your floor. That would sail ever so close to harassment of a colleague on the basis of a disability (if he’s in the loo as much as you indicate, he’s highly likely to meet the definition). And that would very much be an HR issue, but not in a way that you would like.

Rather than approaching it as he needs to use a different loo. Approach it as, due to ventilation and privacy the in office loo should only be used for wees as it impacts everyone working in the office.

Does the toilet have an extraction system? Should do if no windows.
Sounds frustrating and really he should be using the other toilet if possible (although maybe struggles with urgency so can't) however like others have said you do need to tread carefully as it could well be a medical issue as going for a poo that many times a day doesn't sound normal to me.
How do you know he doesn't have a stoma bag?
Can you or others not use the downstairs toilet if really needing to go before the small has eased?

This.

I agree with this ^

What on earth is the matter with ANYONE using a toilet designed for disabled people?

And get the extractor fan fixed

And get some pre poo barrier spray to help with the smell

This man MUST have a medical issue with his bowels and you, @Standingupstream,need to grow the fuck up and stop being so horrible

I can’t believe everyone defending this bloke -He must know he stinks out the office, yet chooses to not use the downstairs toilet.

Imagine sitting in an office that stinks of shit half the time because he won’t go downstairs, that would make anyone feel sick.

I think the way it needs to be addressed is by saying the downstairs toilet is now to be used as a designated men’s loo. Stick a women’s sign on the office toilet.

If there are 15 women all using this toilet, your employer is in breach of Health and Safety guidelines. If there are between 6 and 25 employees, your employer needs to provide two toilets.

The some of the posters on this thread with similar conditions to this man take huge pains to try and mitigate the impact on other people and use all the products available to reduce the smell and the impact on other people.

I don’t know how HR can legally deal with this but hopefully it can be resolved. Not sure if they can realistically ask him to use another one?

But I do feel this is part of the lack of consideration many men display .

My mate has IBS type symptoms. We shared a hotel last year and she used the hotel toilet that was in the basement on the same level as the gym so as not to stink out the toilet in the room she was sharing with me.

I didn’t ask her to and wouldn’t have but it was kind she was so considerate. If this man has any level of self awareness he’ll use the other toilet - if that’s situated in a place that doesn’t affect another team that is?

My sister had most of her bowel removed due to cancer. Only has a few cm left. She has to go numerous times a day. She has permanent diarrhea. Noisy and smells. She is mortified and gets so upset. Doesn't socialise anymore as she is too embarrassed to use the loo at people's houses. She's only 38.

It's on your work to provide an appropriate shared toilet. Eg with a window.

Also VIP poo spray is amazing. Can you spray it in the toilet before he goes or leave it in there and hope he uses it.

Can you, or the bravest in the office Siddle up to him and say “Tom there is a bit of a queue forming for the loo, are you aware there is another one downstairs? Might be best to use that if you need more than a quick wee”

then it’s about nothing more than the practical- others also need to wee and there is another loo to use for longer bathroom trips

I mean I have IBS but that doesn't entitle me to stink out the office four times a day. I would have some thought for others and go to the loo downstairs so that didn't happen.

This. I was thinking the same and wondering if the OP would have more sympathy if it was a woman experiencing toileting issues, or was spending longer in the bathroom due to menstrual problems.

Also did those saying why doesn't he use the downstairs disabled toilet, maybe he doesn't have time to make it?
Again people have pointed out many conditions that might affect him and getting to the toilet urgently could be a priority.

I was going to say the same. I had a relationship with someone who had an ileostomy bag, and the emptying stank, but there was absolutely nothing that could be done about it.
OP, you have no idea what this man is dealing with, and you really need to not say anything to him.
Chances are, he's suffering a huge amount more with his digestive issues than you are suffering with the smell.

Hi Steve,

I’ve noticed that you need to use the toilet frequently and for extended periods, so I’m wondering if you’re aware that there is a disabled toilet down the corridor and whether you would be comfortable using it? It’s just that in the office there’s 16 people to one loo, and sometimes people can get quite desperate by the time the toilet becomes vacant, so having another option will really help the situation if at all possible?

Only have this discussion in private, and don’t make it about the smell. If he’s spending half an hour in there 4 times a day, you can use that

OP stop trying to banish people to other toilets because you think your shit doesn't stink. If you have a problem with people using the toilet how it's intended, you go use the other one.

This seems like absolutely the right answer. This is a management problem - they are the ones not providing adequate facilities for their staff.

Those suggesting he uses the downstairs disabled toilet, what if he has a bowel issue that requires him to get to a toilet immediately? He might not have time to get to the downstairs one.

Besides, 1 toilet for 15 staff members seems unreasonable anyway and this is what I would be bringing to the attention of the upper management!