Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

I give zero shits (pun not intended) about your attempts to derail normal people having normal conversations. Your fascination with shit talk is noted.

Move on.

Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticular disease/diverticulitis, oesophagus/stomach/duodenu, ileostomy/stoma, coeliac disease, gastritis and many more besides are considered disabilities.

If he's shitting 5 times a day there's a good chance he has a disability. But whether he does or not, it's for management to sort out. And no, there's nothing "horrible" about not being able to stand the constant stench of shit. It's quite normal, in fact.

Tell him to use the disabled loo.

And yes, other than that tell them the extractor fan explicitly does not work.

Just put a sign on the door for female toilet and downstairs male one. If it gets taken down day after he will always see that as women’s loo and go downstairs.

“he is not in the loo for 30+ min, he is there probably less than 10min”

But a couple of hours ago you said:

“he disappears into the loo for ages”

So which is it?

@21stNightOfSeptember I know right and she said "when he finally comes out" but now it's less than 10 mins!

Work should be providing adequate toilets with proper ventilation. Not fair to be singling out individuals on their toilet habits.

He doesn’t have stoma but he could have different issue

How on earth do you know this? ‘Hi Steve, do you have a stoma’, ‘No Kathy, I don’t’. - I suspect that never happened and you have no idea.

First port of call would be to tell management that the extraction fan must be fixed. Second port of call is people using the downstairs bathroom if the one on your floor is occupied. No idea what people being male vs female has on this issue either🤷‍♀️.

Dont be so ridiculous, no matter how much he cleans, you can’t get rid of smells in the air instantly! She doesn’t say that he leaves the toilet dirty, just smelly. This woman clearly has a problem, given her husband has to use a different loo! If this loo doesn’t have a window it should have an extractor fan, if not it’s breaking regulations and it’s management that need to deal with that, it this poor man who clearly has issues.

Ten minutes in the loo is ages, and especially at work.

Don't be so ridiculous the permanent stench of shit he leaves is affecting 15 women in the office, not just OP.

Obviously, instructing them to just keep breathing in the stench of shit for hours every day and shut about it is not any sort of option.

I would inform HR.
Then put up signs on the toilet door saying use the air freshener provided.
I would also get in first and absolutely douse the toilet in strong smelling air freshener before he uses the toilet. From what you say he is in there a lot, so time the spraying of air freshener to just before he goes in. Make sure you spray a lot so ye might stop going so much or use the other toilet.

Yes he definitely should be using the other loo, given that 15 women are having to tolerate the stench of shit throughout large parts of the day, and it would be nonsensical, of course, to suggest they all troop up and down and try to use the other loo, when he is the one creating the problem of the stench of shit.

If I was you, I would quietly go downstairs to the disabled toilet. I don't think you can say to him or even to everyone, go downstairs if you need to do a No 2 as that would quite rightly enrage disabled people.

Nah. There's 15 of them breathing in the stench of his shit for large parts of the day.

He can go downstairs.

WTF are you talking about? Your idea of "normal conversation" seems to consist of suggesting things OP's workplace won't do if they don't want to be sued. You aren't making suggestions that will be useful so your outrage is just pointless wanking on your part.

He can but should he be asked to? I wouldn't handle this situation by talking to any colleague about their bowel movements but you disagree and that's fine, if I was the OP I would just nip downstairs.

I very definitely wouldn't be ok with everyone having to use the downstairs loo to suit one person. I'd talk to management about it.

Rather than speaking to him directly, which wouldn't be appropriate, the coreect course is to speak to HR that your team as a whole is inadequately provided for because you just have one loo between you and the needs of the team as a whole are that this is insufficient particularly because there is one member of the team whose particular additional needs mean that the rest of you have no access to usable facilities for large sections of the day. Your team office space needs to be moved to a different part of the building where there is better loo access and a smaller team need to be moved into thr area you thereby vacate.

We have a relative who does this. Every holiday the toilet stinks for several hours a day due to his Ibs. He took daily Symprove for a while and it really helped him go less. Can you suggest this?

Of course there is no law. I didn’t suggest there was. Doesn’t stop it being highly inappropriate.

So anyway, weird posts by some people aside.

Obviously, it's not ok, in any way, for 15 people to have to use the downstairs loo, meaning only one loo between 15 people, to suit one person who may or may not have a disability.

If part of that disability is that he has no sense of smell, fair enough. Otherwise, he knows he leaves the stench of shit behind, and could use the gel provided, but doesn't. He could blast the place with air freshener, but doesn't. He could go downstairs, but doesn't.

He's the problem, regardless of whether he's disabled. People can't pretend they don't mind a strong stench of shit just because they feel compassion for you.

You've had some decent suggestions in amongst the usual "but won't somebody think of the person causing everyone else to feel miserable" nonsense that inevitably pops up. Talk to management, get it sorted.

This is gross he should use the downstairs toilet

I don't know why you can't use the disabled loo. I also think the only way for you to know for certain that he doesn't have a stoma is that you've seen him naked. Agree with others you are probably a poo troll.