Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

I understand that it's unpleasant but that doesn't justify ridiculing someone for something they have no control over. Several of the suggestions on here amount to office bullying. I don't think that is an acceptable way of dealing with this. If you do then we will have to agree to disagree.

There have been practical suggestions made, for example speaking to facilities about getting a more effective extractor fan. They could also politely ask that people be sure to close the door after they have used the toilet. OP said this man tends to leave it open which I do agree is inconsiderate.

I needed a job around 5 years ago and worked as a cleaner at a construction site. There was a block of around 5/6 cubicles. It was just after COVID so I was asked to check them every hour. Every fucking time I went round at least 2 of the loos had shite up the pan. On a bad day there would be shite on the walls and shitey toilet paper floating about. I doubt all the men who worked there had IBS. They were just disgusting inconsiderate bastards.

He might be leaving the door open to try and air the toilet and reduce the smell. He's not necessarily being inconsiderate.

I agree it's not good though.

I have sympathy as I have bowel issues and need to go multiple times a day. I don't know what i would do if I had to go in an office environment. It would be as embarrassing as hell. Mine are often urgent so the poor guy is probably similar in that he wouldn't get to a toilet further away.

Why?

I spent 18 years working in a building where all the toilets were for either sex, and no-one ever seemed to be in the least bit bothered about it.

Each cubicle was self-contained, with a basin, a mirror, a small bin and a sanpro bin. They were in groups of 4 off the main corridor on each floor, with a large accessible toilet on the ground floor as well.

I never heard anyone complaining about them being for mixed-sex use, and they were always immaculately clean.

That's rather dramatic. Thing is they share a work place. He has the choice of using a loo directly next to the workplace and subjecting everyone to his bowel motions aromas or use a loo a bit further away. He should use that one. Common courtesy seems to be awol with some on mn.

I can't believe the mental gymnastics going on here.

Everyone is entitled to a work place that is not offensive. You should go to HR, the management, whoever is responsible and explain that the toilet becomes intolerable at certain times of day. Without naming names you can outline the situation and ask for it to be addressed.

This is not 'bullying' or 'being disablist' or any of the other expressions PP are bandying about. This is about the work situation for every employee. For all you know, your colleague is aware of the problem and has begged for some alternative toilet arrangement and has been dismissed because 'no one has complained' so there isn't an issue. There is an issue; make it a problem for the person who has the power to deal with it.

It's not dramatic at all. Please don't be so dismissive of people's experiences. I've found some of the posts on here upsetting as well and agree that some of the suggestions made amount to blatant bullying.

It has been mentioned multiple times already, but using the toilet downstairs may not be an option if this man experiences bowel urgency. There are also people working downstairs so I don't see how it's any more considerate to use their toilet than the one near to OP.

Finding a practical solution is not bullying and I haven't seen anyone suggesting it is. Lots of people have suggested requesting a more effective extractor fan, for example, and no one has said that would be bullying.

It's things like OP describing the situation as a "running joke" and people suggesting performatively spraying air freshener every time the man goes to the toilet that many of us are objecting to.

How about trying Vicks Vapour Rub inside your nostrils when you go in after him?

How about he goes somewhere not directly adjacent to the work area? Are some women so very meek they'd rather suffer than tell a man he is being hugely inconsiderate and to go a bit further to do his smelly dumps?

My office has mixed sex loos. They are all individual cubicles with their own sink and hand dryer. It sounds like OP's office floor has one toilet used by both sexes.

But think of the poor men who just want to poo.

Echoes of something else I think.

Exactly. Why is he actively choosing to shit near to where his colleagues are sitting, when there's a toilet further away? (But still not too far away.....)

A poster further back suggested a good idea - put a sign up telling EVERYONE that the toilet close to the office is for 'whispers' only. If you want to 'SHOUT' then you need to use the other toilet that is further away.

I am sure someone will suggest that he may not be able to get to the other toilet on time, but if that's the case, they need to start questioning if the workplace is suitable for him. It's not fair that 15 other people (in the office) should be subjected to the foul stench of someone's shit, 5 times a day when there is another toilet further away - in the same building, and still in easy reach - that this person can use.

Stop tolerating this @Standingupstream ! Address it now. Go to head office if necessary (if he won't adhere to the 'use the toilet further away' request.) No-one should be dreading going into work because of someone's awful smell of shit 5 times a day, right near where they sit!

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Where do you want him to go for a poo?
He is doing it in the toilet which is the correct place.
It's not his fault that there is no window.

Exactly. The sooner some women realise that men are NOT more important than women, (and their needs do NOT trump theirs,) the better!

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Did you miss the bit where the OP said there is another toilet further away from everyone? And this man doesn't NEED to inflict his shitty smell on his 15 colleagues!

He can use that one!

So people with bowel urgency shouldn't be allowed to work in offices? Is that what you are saying?

And no, I did not see him naked, someone else did and that’s why he is in our office 3-4 days a week!

What do you mean by this - someone saw him naked and thats why he is in your office!?

Read the OP's posts. She has explained this.

Or maybe they are already aware of his medical issue and he has green light to spend as much time as he needs in the loo. Neither he, nor his line manager are required to inform the entire office of his medical condition or reasonable adjustments he has in place because of it.

Just stick a ‘Ladies’ sign on the toilet door upstairs and a ‘Men/disabled’ sign on the toilet downstairs.

If he has a medical condition he should be using the toilet downstairs anyway.

Why should other men in the office have to go downstairs to use the loo? And why should any women who work downstairs have to come up? Why does him having a medical condition mean he has to use the downstairs toilet? So many questions...

Yes, he should definitely be using the toilet AWAY from everyone else.

Buy him some vipoo

Oh that’s awful for you op