Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Previously had this with a unisex enclosed cubical toilet and a male colleague who clearly had some sort of IBS or gut issue. It’s obviously not a normal toilet habit. A better extractor fan on permanently, air freshener, open window if possible.

Ask all memeber of staff to poop in downstairs toilet. No discrimation amd make him aware that everyone is being asked due to the close nature of bathroom to the office.

I think an important detail here is that OP said he comes out and leaves the door open.
Also the point about them leaving sachets and he didn't use them.

Any decent person who has a smelly poo in a small office toilet would have the manners to close the door and use sprays/sachets if provided.

The fact that this bloke does neither suggests he couldn't care less about his colleagues.
That is the problem.
Never mind all the virtuous posts about possible health issues..this guy's biggest problem is total lack of consideration and that is definitely cause for complaint.

He very likely has an issue which is classed as a disability. Tread very carefully.

The thing is though, if it were me and I had an issue I would use the furthest away toilet as I wouldn’t want people in the office seeing me disappearing for 30 minutes at a time and then being responsible for a terrible smell. I appreciate that there are some issues where time is of the essence due to urgency but to not do anything to attempt to make it useable for the next person is quite odd.

Has it changed? Two toilets used to be enough for 25 people.

to the best of your knowledge, are there any people working there who either are disabled or need to use that toilet?

you either tell management that men need to use the disabled loo downstairs, or the women will. The unisex approach isn’t acceptable to you

There is not a thing you can do about it. I'm sorry.

Same here. I don't think I know any women who are happy to share toilet facilities with men they are not related to - like in the workplace, or public loos in general. Only on Mumsnet do I see this.

Moreover, every shopping centre, theatre, cinema, workplace, school, college, parish hall, and event location I have visited - ever - has womens toilets and mens toilets. No woman I know wants to share with the opposite sex. Indeed, I believe most men don't. I think it's very odd that some posters seem fine sharing their toilets with men/having unisex toilets, because in real life, I know NO-ONE who is OK with this. All the women I know definitely aren't!!!

Parallel Universe of Mumsnet strikes again!

In theory yes, but I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been stared at for using a disabled toilet. Telling someone I’ve got crohns so will shit myself if I don’t get in this toilet isn’t something I’d like to do lol

Seriously? That’s not what HR is for

100% this. NAMALT of course, but men do tend to be generally more foul and disgusting than women when it comes to issues like toilets, and when it comes to public toilets, they don't give a damn.

A few times when I have been out with DH, the (public) ladies toilet has been out of order, and only the disabled toilet and the mens are available. I have said to DH (only a couple of times ever-) 'can you keep an eye out while I pop into the mens, I am desperate!' And he has said 'use the disabled toilet, you do NOT want to go into the mens, they are fucking disgusting. Some men are pigs. It stinks to high heaven in there!'

I have never worked in a place that has 1 toilet per 12-13 people. Most workplaces have 1 toilet per 3-4 people I would say. eg; if they had 20-22 staff, they'd have 3 toilets for the woman/3 for the men (and 1 disabled toilet.)

Some women have some pretty disgusting toilet habits too - it's not specific to men. I work for a small company which shares single-sex toilets with other businesses in the building. There are women who never wash their hands, and at least one woman who never flushes at all, or washes her hands, and frequent skidmarks despite brushes being provided. All well presented, well-groomed women. It's really gross, and I feel sorry for the cleaner, who incidentally is a man.

I can 'elevenerife' this.

A vet I used to work for used to stink the bogger out entirely but...the bog was also the darkroom for developing XRays so we often had to go in there for a good nine minutes inhaling his shit stink and it would cling to our clothes for an hour. Fun times.

@Standingupstream - get a box of matches - a lit match gets rid of the methane immediately. I have said this so many times on different threads where people complain about their spouses using the en-suite etc etc.

It’s the old fashioned way, but it works.

Blimey that's a lot of loos. I've no idea what the legal requirements is but I've never worked anywhere where there was one per 3 or 4 people.

I don't think the pp meant for HR to get a screwdriver out and fit it rather to raise it as health and safety issue or whatever with them and get them to contact maintenance to sort it out. Alternatively ask the smelly man to get the extractor fan fixed and also to use a loo with a bit more distance from the working area while he works on his diet.

Ffs what absolute bullshit, what does he achieve by this exactly!!! Some people are just ridiculous and no im not a man, I have crohns and had someone bring the toilet issue up.to me. As a result I developed crippling anxiety about using the toilet, time off sick and a crohns flare up

Get over yourself and find an original response

Agreed, it so very immature, and the 'running joke' thing is increadibly school kid nastiness, grow up.
If OP and fellow office members can bare having someone to joke and gosip about, there are potential solutuions like an extractor fans or an air purifier- if it genuinely is that much of an 'issue' - but no, going to the poor man and saying your shit stinks is not one of those nor would it help, what on earth would he be able to do about it? shit outside, hold it in ?

Some of your attitudes are distressing to read and frustrating and the reason I hate to admitting to having crohns

Broken leg, injury, etc you get understanding but stomach problems and you get narrow minded, short sighted, ill informed bullies

Twat, by OP's description he doesn't sound embarrassed at all. We can all have compassion for those with medical issues but we don't have to sit amongst the smell of shite. Everyone's poo smells. If you need to go at work you wipe, double flush and spray. Yes it won't eliminate the odour completely but at least it would go some way to showing respect to those who have to inhale it.

I can’t believe I’ve ended up reading this thread and then responding; I think it’s where I was wondering if it was a previous workplace of mine, but I don’t think it can be, given it felt like there were LOADS of loos around the place… although the one nearest to us that a certain colleague used a lot, with NO soundproofing, and inadequate ventilation despite having a window that opened, eventually just got decommissioned and he had to find another one in the building to use. Heck, maybe it IS my old workplace and they’ve decommissioned most of the other toilets since I left?!!! (This same person was a direct report of mine and although I couldn’t do anything about the toilet issues, they did seem to have very little self-awareness, and I did have to tell them to throw their rubbish away and not leave their empty laxative sachets around next to the tea and coffee making facilities…)

Ultimately what a lot of people are missing here, is that this may be very unpleasant for the man in question but that doesn’t negate that it is very unpleasant for those who have to share the office, especially for anyone with sensory issues. However, like some others have suggested, you raise this as an issue of inadequate ventilation in the toilet facilities, along with requesting an automatic closer on the door to solve the issue if he leaves the door open, and then facilities can decide what to do about it. You can keep applying pressure to them about unsuitable toilet facilities, until they do something about it, and you can point out that artificial fragrance options aren’t a suitable alternative given some people may be sensitive or allergic, and they can sometimes make things worse with a combination of odours anyway.

In the meantime, I’d just go and use the other toilet if I needed to and get as many windows open throughout the whole office for a much higher rate of air exchange.

Had this issue in an office where I worked many years ago. It was a sales office so had the added problem of customers being subjected to it. There was a toilet block in the building next door but certain people were too idle to walk there (about 2 minutes max).

Someone eventually came up with a notice to put on the outside of the door which went along the lines of - 'For the disposal of liquid assets only. More substantial assets should be disposed of in the more appropriate facilities next door'. Not the exact words but along those lines. It worked.