Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Well someone may well have issues, but why should everyone else in the office have to be privvy to them? It sounds awful!

In the first instance OP, your employer should be providing more loos - one loo.for 15 people is ridiculous. Secondly, they should provide single sex facilities. I really object to ever sharing a loo with any man. Let's face it, men are prone to widdling all over the toilet seat and floor, never checking whether the toilet is adequately flushed, leaving the bowl in a disgusting state for the next person to find and never dream of replacing the loo roll either. I know this because I once had to share a loo with five men and it was a revolting experience. So much so that I simply went home every time I needed the lavatory - fortunately I lived near enough to the office to make that possible. I also extended that privilege to any woman who ever worked or visited our office.

In your position, I'd talk to HR and tell them that the extractor fan needs to be repaired or replaced immediately and that toilet provision is completely inadequate and the company needs to rethink it as a matter of urgency. I wouldn't mention the stinky colleague, but I'd simply point out that at present people are frequently having to use the disabled toilet on the lower floor, which has to be affecting productivity. Make it their problem and see what happens. Good luck OP!

Ugh sounds horrendous OP. I’d speak to HR and facilities for better provisions. Why should you have to put up with all that?

but the key point here is that everyone knows he's going/gone for a "no.2" anyway because they can smell it for ages after!

We can have a lot of sympathy for the man IF he has additional/complicating toileting needs (which we don't actually know!) whilst also recognising that most decent people would try and minimise the impact on other people (as well as their own embarrassment if they felt it, which he doesn't seem to) WHERE POSSIBLE.

So yes, he might not always be able to make it downstairs, but from what OP said he sounds like he is pretty regular! Even if he tries where he can to do so, or pre-emptively poos as soon as he gets in and at lunchtime to lower the chances he'll need to go again soon after (yes I know that's not a failsafe!) it would be better than always using that loo 4 times a day.

At the end of the day if his needs are so urgent HR should be aware of them anyway, as with just one toilet (which I agree doesn't sound sufficient), there's a good chance that if he does often IMMEDIATELY need to go that sooner or later he will get caught out anyway because someone else is in there. Same with if he's in a meeting or travelling to/from work.

I have not read the whole thread but I do hope that you have bought some Toilet Duck, got over yourself and found a brain cell amongst you.

HR may be aware of a medical condition, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the staff will be. Employers aren’t allowed to directly ask if an employee is disabled so if he hasn’t disclosed, the employer can’t really do very much unless/until he does. I think the real problem here is that one standard toilet between one male and fifteen female employees, isn’t adequate.

That could be construed as workplace bullying and if it does turn out that he has disclosed a medical condition to HR, discrimination.

I haven't managed to read the whole thread so someone may have already suggested this but we had this issue at work (not unisex, actually - female only toilets) and bought some 'VIPoo' spray and not really had a problem with smell since. It seems amazing stuff! The key is apparently using it beforehand. Could some be bought and put quite prominently in there - even with a polite sign to feel free to use, if you think it won't be picked up on?

The only thing you can do is ask management to have single sex toilets, e.g. downstairs loo for men, upstairs loo for ladies. Really they should have windows in the bathrooms anyway, plus one toilet for a full mixed office seems weird to me..
There is absolutely no way you can bring this up to him, he may have a medical condition as others have stated, try to empathise as I'm sure he is embarrassed by this already.

I don’t mind sharing with the men but would you suggest that maybe he could use the downstairs loo?

No you can't say that. You can use the downstairs loo.

I think the OP said they’d bought some sachets of something similar to put in the toilet beforehand to stop the smell, but the man hadn’t used them.

OP, maybe he doesn’t know the sachets are for anyone to use and so thinks he can’t use one? Maybe he has no idea what they’re for or how to use them? Why not put a nice sign up aimed at everyone, saying they can use a sachet beforehand if they need to poo?

If there was no smell or, at least, a mild smell only, that would help a lot.

I don't think it is 15 female employees. Initially OP said her office was mostly female and she also stated she didn't mind sharing a toilet with the men. It only seems to be this particular man she has a problem with. But later she said 15 women so who knows. It's tricky when people don't keep their stories consistent.

Anyway, I share an office with around 30 people (approx 2/3 are women). We have two unisex toilets close by and other toilets in the building but a bit further away. So a similar set up to here where there are two toilets (one upstairs and one downstairs) that people in OPs office can use. It's not loads but it is adequate.

That's grim, OP, talk about male privilege. He knows exactly what he's doing.

Bloody men. Thinking they have a right to poo when they need to. In a toilet, no less! What is the world coming to?!

Sounds like you need to get your firm to fix the extractor.

He is using the toilet for what it is meant for... but the extractor is not doing its job.

A discreet word not in the hearing of others, expressed in a concerned way. If you feel that is possible.

Well here’s your solution… use that toilet instead

Risky. If it turns out he has a medical condition they would be on very shaky ground. OP says they’re reasonably sure he hasn’t but if he had disclosed to HR it would be confidential.

There are so many people who are dealing with challenging gastrointestinal conditions, you are all showing total immaturity and unbelievable lack of empathy!! I have worked with GI patients and on some of the wards in my role and believe me, what some people have to cope with is really unpleasant for them and I’m sure they are well aware already 🤦‍♀️

It's horrible isn't it? Fifteen adults all making jokes about someone leaving a smell in the toilet. Immature and downright cruel.

I used to work in colorectal and my husband had bowel cancer. The attitudes of some of the people on this thread are really upsetting.

How is that going to help with the fact that he's causing a terrible stench in the office every time he goes?

Can you spray an air freshener when he comes out?

Is he a shagger OP? Just nosy after the nakedness comment

They have to sit in an office that stinks of shit. Do you think they should just grin and bear it then? How is that fair on them? It's disgusting and probably illegal to work in an office that reeks of human excrement.

Leave an anonymous typed message on his desk asking him to use another toilet as none of you can use this one after he's been in it. Tell him to see HR about special facilities if he has a medical condition. Deny it was you if he asks.

Start smoking heavily too. Then you won’t be able to smell anything 🚬

No-one should have to work in an office that smells of shit. Regardless of "reasons". It is completely unacceptable.