Loo issue in the office

[Standingupstream]

NC for this..
I work in an office with mainly women. There is one man who is senior to us, although he isn’t our manager, and he only started coming over to our office a few months ago.We only have one loo that we all share, and before he started working in our office, this was never an issue.
Now, about 30 minutes after arriving, he disappears into the loo for ages. When he finally comes out, the smell is absolutely suffocating. There’s no window, in the loo and the air fresheners just seem to make the whole thing even more vomit-inducing.
Then, a couple of hours later, he goes again. And again after lunch. And usually once more in the afternoon. This happens pretty much every time he’s in the office, which is around 3–4 days a week.
It has now become a running joke amongst us. If someone needs the loo and it’s occupied, we ask ( other people ) if it’s him, because we all know there’s absolutely no point even attempting to go in for at least half an hour. 😂
My DH actually uses a different loo at home because I hate a poo-smelling bathroom, but obviously if it happens occasionally I’m not exactly precious about it because he’s my DH. I just find it rather gross being subjected to this at work by a man I barely know. 😂

The problem is, we genuinely don’t know what to do about it. How on earth do you approach a grown man about the fact that his toilet habits are basically fumigating the entire office, without completely humiliating him?!
I actually started to worry if he has some serious stomach issues. That would be actually completely different matter.
How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

Why?

I've had a 30 year difficult journey with severe IBS and I hate leaving the house purely because of other people as I know how much people hate toilet issues.

I feel really sorry for this guy but on the other hand I have no idea why he doesn't come prepared. I also follow a special diet and know that I never leave a smell (I have a very honest dh, ds, dd and sister!). Some people don't care how they leave a toilet as my dh would testify, he works only with men and is always disgusted that some leave the toilets in a terrible state.

I feel for you all round, it's not nice for you but not too grand for him either I imagine but being a man he's probably not going to do a lot about it.

At the risk of cancelling the cheque, this is a facilities issue. Someone needs to report it to management / estates that there is a serious ventilation issue which means that the office is unpleasant to be in for a large portion of each day. They then need to address this, with a more powerful extractor for example, and perhaps they could make recommendations in the meantime that all office users need to ensure that they close the door following use of the toilet so that the extraction system can work properly.

😂😂

Because it is disgusting.

Obviously we don't know the man's situation and he could just be incredibly inconsiderate but sometimes special diets don't make much difference. My son's special diet helps somewhat with his medical issue but not to the point that there isn't a very strong smell unfortunately or the fact that 4-6 times a day is a good day for him.

Because in this case he stinks

how does any of what I have said in my post have anything to do with stomas . There are plenty of single loos where I work that people with stomas can use . By this token the people with stomas should not use the ones with mobility aids just in case someone comes along who requires them. This may include some one who is heavily pregnant or something and doesn’t have an official “disability “ as such . Maybe there should be a strict hierarchy of need and a policy put in place .

I agree. I am not a fan of mixed sex toilets either. I have NO desire whatsover to be using the same toilets as men who I am not related to. I don't share public toilets with random men/men I am not related to, so why should I have to share toilets with men at work?

.

I was pointing out that not every disabled person is obviously disabled. And someone with a stoma would be classed as disabled under the Equality Act 2010 so perfectly entitled to use a disabled toilet with mobility aids, as changing a stoma bag often requires the facilities available in them - such as a washbasin next to the toilet, or a changing table.

But they don’t have changing tables in the workplace anywhere I’ve worked . And all our single loos have sinks in them . Your user name is quite apt because you are being like a dog with a bone here . My workplace has no one in it who requires that particular toilet stop trying to persuade me it does .

I'm sorry that you have a medical problem but as you say you do whatever you can to reduce the effect on others, you're considerate and this stupid man is not.

Many of us will manage medical problems either ourselves or our relatives and one of the things you do is think of others.

So whether he just overdoes it on the vindaloo, has chronic diarrhoea or whatever he really does need to go elsewhere rather than stink the office out.

I went to visit a friend once, his downstairs loo right near the door. As I knocked he came out of said loo and omg the smell. I knew him well enough to say fgs why not go upstairs and open a window, he just laughed and said he cba. That's some men and their awful loo etiquette for you!

Poo smells. It's not nice (unless you're a bit of a weirdo). However, the problem is not the man, nor how often he has to evacuate, nor how smelly it is. He should NOT be subjected to gossip nor questioning over his bowels. To spray air freshener and the like is not the solution - to do so, in itself is an added problem and you are merely masking one smell with another.

The inadequate facilities and lack of privacy especially if a toilet door opens directly into an office, and the unpleasant atmosphere should be raised with management as a general 'for everyone's comfort' request.

From the drip feed, it sounds like he is the subject of gossip (and possible dislike) due more to a questionable relationship in the workplace.

The ableism on this thread and mumsnet generally never fails to disappoint.

@Standingupstream I think you need to start spraying air freshener and saying very loudly "what is that smell". Yes he may have a condition but he could do his best to minimise the stink. Does he wipe the toilet and spray before he leaves ?

Nothing like a bit of workplace bullying to fix an issue.

https://www.hse.gov.uk/contact/faqs/toilets.htm

'The relevant legislation is the Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992. Regulation 20, Sanitary conveniences, states:

1. Suitable and sufficient sanitary conveniences shall be provided at readily accessible places.
2. Without prejudice to the generality of paragraph (1), sanitary conveniences shall not be suitable unless -
3. the rooms containing them are adequately ventilated and lit;
4. they and the rooms containing them are kept in a clean and orderly condition; and
5. separate rooms containing conveniences are provided for men and women except where and so far as each convenience is in a separate room the door of which is capable of being secured from inside.

The Approved code of practice goes on to give minimum numbers of facilities'

One man does some smelly poos and so you think all unisex toilets should be illegal?

I love the insanity on here. I'm so glad the people I meet in real life bear no resemblance to the opinions on Mumsnet.

I do think that and so do most people I know ,, sooo

This 100pc
Same has happened to a close family member too

Mens poos and farts definitely smell worse than womens. It is because they eat a lot more red meat and drink a lot of beer IMO.

First - how do you know he doesn't have a stoma?

Second - if he has a condition such as ulcerative colitis he would have an urgency to use the toilet, so suggesting he uses a toilet further away is ridiculous.

OP, rather than bitching to your colleagues, how about YOU use the toilet that is further away, if it bothers you that much.

How would you approach it? Or should we just leave it. We are becoming very cross about it.

What on earth are you going to do ? Sit him down and tell him he can't go to the toilet while he's at work. Everyone smells.

Whilst I hate gender stereotypes, I think this one exists for a reason.

Myself and virtually every other woman I know are very aware of smells we create in the toilet. I would guess that the market for po drops, sprays etc is dominated by us. Certainly I've spent a lifetime ring to find more isolated loos for poo in public, lining with toilet paper so there's no splash, waiting for hairdryers to come on etc.

Not all of us are that ott, but I think a desire not to leave a stench behind (or it be obvious that we've had a poo) is very common. And that's also what makes it so hard for women with bowel issues.

Many men on the other hand do not care. Shit smells, get over it. Some are proud of the smell or find it funny. Men's toilets have a reputation for being stinker for a reason - men!

So the 15 women using the toilet for wee only, and using the distant disabled if they need a discreet 💩 is not unexpected. It's basically unspoken women toilet etiquette. Universal enough that the 15 women in the office stuck to it without anyone saying a word.

Then this man comes along, and uses the loo in a stereotypical male way, not caring if he's left a stink behind.

I'm not sure what the answer is, it it's a stark reminder of yet another reason why single sex toilets are important.

You genuinely think unisex toilets should be illegal because one man's poo smells? That's actually the reason you think they should be illegal?

You are the dog with the bone. I’m only answering your posts because you’re insistent. From my own experience many disabled toilets have changing tables depending on the space available. A lot double up as baby changing facilities. I couldn’t care less what your workplace provides - it’s not a universal experience and you’re very rude. Have a nice day.