AIBU to still feel shaken after drunk men made vile comments on Wizz Air flight?

[morello1]

I think I need a bit of a mum hug, because I keep wanting to cry about something that happened on a flight recently.

I was with my DD9 and there were three very drunk men I'd say early 30s sitting behind her. They'd moved seats during the flight and had been drinking heavily, getting louder and more obnoxious as the flight went on - really vile stuff. She had head phones on so I thought don't start a scene just ignore and get off.

Towards the end though you have to put away devices and as we were standing to get off I pointed at my DD and gave them a pleading sort of look, just so they realised there was a child sitting in front of them. I didn't confront them just guestured.
One of them put his hand on my arm said, “You're right, it's not funny. sorry love”
The other then said grinning:
“It is funny if I rape the fucking kid.”
The first one immediately said he'd gone too far using the “R word”, and they all laughed.

I was completely stunned. I didn't know what to say. I just wanted to get my daughter away from them, so I got her off the plane as quickly as I could. I told the staff as I was leaving that I needed to make a complaint and I was crying at that point but the staff were kids and just looked at me blankly I wanted to get my DD as far away from them as poss as quickly as poss

back in england I've reported it to the police. They initially seemed to take it very seriously, particularly because these were three drunk men on a flight making an explicit comment about a child. I've got a crime reference number and the airport police have contacted Wizz Air.
It seems to be difficult to identify the men because they'd moved seats during the flight, and the police are having difficulty getting the booking/payment details relating to the seat changes. They haven't said it's closed, but I have a new officer who gives the impression they were trying to manage my expectations.

I've also complained to Wizz Air and, despite sending everything they've asked for and chasing them twice, they've basically not responded. ZERO.

And now I don't know whether I should just leave it.
I keep thinking I should have done something differently. Got the cabin crew details. Confronted them. Made more of a fuss. But honestly, I was shocked and my only thought was getting my DD away from them and fast.

I know I've reported it and I've done what I can. But I can't seem to stop replaying it.
How do you actually move on from something like this? Would you keep pursuing it, or would you draw a line under it and try to forget about it?
I think I just need some mums to tell me I'm not being ridiculous for still being really really upset about it.

Why was OP crying?
She sounds very rational in her posts and not like someone who cries at the drop of a hat.

I can only assume that its because she had to witness the horrible behaviour and was getting more and more upset at the thought of her 9 year old DD having to experience it.. and the final remarks were shocking and said to OP directly, with the full intention of upsetting and shocking her.

The cabin member serving them was very young and out of her depth as she walked away each time the discussion of her was so disgusting but I honestly felt like it was better for her if she didn’t have to deal with them any more than they had to.

they whole crew were really young late teens maybe early twenties I just think it’s so unfair to put them in this situation there were men in their 30s gym guys and large and loud and threatening I’m sure the crew are under pressure to sell alcohol by the airline it should be banned on flights full stop

this one was delayed and so they were steaming when they got on already they made a big scene moving seats and making it hard for the crew refusing to pay for an up grade then finally agreeing and shouting etc etc they were a live wire

and tears were anger and shock.

THIS

I too would have got my kid and myself away from those men. I wouldn't have been able to ask my body not to! Because, like far too many women, I have prior experience of what violent misogynists can do.

But no way should this be let go of.

Just because we live in a misogynistic society it doesn't mean we shouldn't expect more. Of course the airline can help police identify them. For a man to say such a terrifying thing to a 9 year old child is awful. It's shit like this that marks so many girls' passage into womenhood. Slow handclap for the pathetic prick upholding the patriarchy. I hope his dick and balls get infected and slowly and painfully shrivel up.

Do not let up with either airline or police. Their list of suspects is bloody tiny really. This ought to be an easy solve. I've been on buses and trains recently advertising campaigns to end violence against women and girls. Please remind both organisations they're supposed to give a shit, even if it's just for optics.

I would write to the CEO.

I would also consider going to the media with the slant that the staff need better training.

The police take it seriously, they agree it’s more than “being obnoxious” - it’s a public order offence also drunk on a flight is a separate offence

for reference if you all ever need to know this info- until a flight disembarks it is under the jurisdiction of the airport so report offences the police local to the airport.m you took off from in the UK

i did a 101 and didn’t expect much really but they called back swiftly. And apparently they’re is an uptick in men committing public order offences so they want it reported for the figures even if they can’t resolve them all they need the numbers for the resources to be allocated they reassured me in this at least I was not wasting their time

reporting is never wrong or a waste of time if the crime has been committed

Sorry to hear all that but cabin crew late teens and above isn't that uncommon these days, even at some legacy airlines, even on Long Haul flights......TBH it's at least part a consequence of the demand for Low Fares driving costs down.

Anyhow regardless of age and wages the cabin crew should have been trained in how to handle disruptive passengers, and most places the regulator insists on some degree of experience across the crew as a whole, so you shouldn't have a whole team of newbies...

I wish you luck in getting some resolution with this but for reasons previously stated I think it'll be a struggle to get much beyond a generic reply.

I wish I knew too! Honestly I’d nip over and see how they faired when their mum girlfriend and boss knew about it all in a heartbeat

Trustpilot and linkedIn.

I would not be letting this drop. It is a dereliction of duty by the airline if their staff continue to serve alcohol to drunk passengers. Write to the CEO of Wizair and the Civil Aviation Authority, outlining everything that happened on the flight quoting the crime number. The airline could find these people if they wanted to and i would ask what additional staff training they will be putting in place. If they fob you off, post the details of your experience on every review you can find. I would also be approaching a national newspaper who are often more than happy to run stories like this.

We were on a flight to a very popular holiday destination recently and had the misfortune to be on the same flight as several groups of men who had been drinking before the flight and carried on drinking during it. They were very loud, foul-mouthed and intimidating. I was sitting next to my teenage niece and was braced to react if anything was said to or about her. Imo airlines need to stop serving alcohol. The cabin crew on the flight were young and predominantly female. Given that safety is supposed to be the priority I do wonder what risk assessment had been carried out. Splitting up some of these groups may go some way to clamping down on the frankly disgusting behaviour.

@morello1 I don't know where you flying from or to in the UK but I never fly from Liverpool now because of the swearing (it's nothing more than punctuation locally), loud. inconsiderate and inappropriate behaviour - it's horrible when you have kids with you too... and yet - if you go to Liverpool there are so many friendly and likeable people there as well as the odd scally. I go out of my way to East Midlands where possible as I loath Manchester Airport.

Yanbu.
I've seen some drunken assholes call adult women names, and if they called you a fat cow as unpleasant as that is I'd try to move on.

What you describe here goes beyond drunken misogyny.

This isn't a random drunken t*at. This guy is a psycho.

Who says something like that? Even his idiot mates, if they're vaguely normal, must have thought, 'who IS this guy?!'

Yeah take it all the way. You never know maybe they're (the mates) as disturbed by it as you are.

I’d have got my phone out, pressed record and asked him to repeat the comment.

I’m sure they’re vile specimens with or without alcohol but I think there needs to be a massive rethink about the extent to which people can get totally shitfaced in airports and on flights.

I accept banning alcohol penalises perfectly law abiding and sensible people who want a drink, and don’t act like this (which includes me), but too often flights are effectively taken over by chanting, loud, drunk wankers.

Go on twitter and tell this story, and Wizz Air will be getting in touch in minutes. I did that with Air Canada, when I was bitten all over by fleas during one of their flights.

I'm very angry for you OP. Sometimes men just are appalling. I think you have to detach from it for your own sake. You did the right thing at the time. Don't let it live in your head all the time. Having said that, I'd write to your MP and copy in the CEO of WizzAir and say their response to police enquiries has been pitifully inadequate. Clearly if someone can escape police attention by moving seats that's a failure of flight security.

It's been an offence to be drunk on board an aircraft for years.

A decent airline has cabin crew and ground staff who are empowered to deny boarding/offload anyone rocking up drunk without having to worry about whether they are going to be sanctioned for delaying the flight.

If you talk to some inside the business some routes are notorious for it....some airlines seem to make the news more often than others with regard to drunk passengers.

One might suspect some airlines care more about online departures than perhaps policing boarding.

Personally I'd rather see the regulators having a hard look at what is going on on some specific routes and even specific operators before thinking about blanket measures..

Get on social media. Name the flight, the time of arrival etc. Ask everyone to share it.
You never know, someone might know them...
But even if not, it'll publicise the story and we need to start shining a light on this sort of behaviour.
Despicable

Far too men are far too vile.
And I bet these people had partners or mums who think they're not one of the bad guys.

Sorry this happened OP, but yeah, I don't think you're going to get the help you want out of this, sadly.

Agree, awful for you OP, I'm so sorry for you and your daughter

How very horrible.

Unfortunately I think you needed to complain about their behaviour and increasing drunkenness during the flight while staff could still do something about it.

Absolutely this. Get on all social media and tell your story tagging the airline. They will soon contact you.

I'm so sorry and absolutely disgusted you and your daughter experienced that. It's a disgrace that grown men think it's acceptable to behave like that. They should never have been served alcohol on the flight.

Sometimes the crew don't see or hear everything on a flight so if something like this happens to anyone, please tell a crew member what's happening and also ask to be moved (if there are spare seats). I've moved people to crew seats before, obviously whilst the seatbelt signs are off. I've had flights diverted due to bad behaviour and police waiting down route to arrest people so there are things that can be done.

You would have been much better off explaining to your daughter that drunk people can say horrible things, that could cause them to be arrested, and that's why alcohol abuse is a terrible thing.

It's you making a big deal out of it that causes your DD to be affected by it. It's dreadful behaviour but it's not like she was in any real danger.

Op hasn't said she made a deal of it around her dd??

This.

You can find his email address here: https://www.ceoemail.com/s.php?id=ceo-82005 (a very handy web site indeed for escalating complaints where the rest of a customer service team appear not to give a shit)