To still be hurt and angry that I was ‘Wendied’ 15 years ago

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DH and I were very friendly with a group of people, 3 couples. They came to our wedding, one of the men was my husbands best man etc. We all had children around the same time. Kids all got on in school and were invited to each others parties etc.

Then, two other couples joined the group, one woman was always a ‘Queen Bee’ type but nice enough, the other got a job as teacher in our small local primary school.

The teacher taught my daughter but unfortunately I had some issues with the school and had to raise a complaint eventually. Suddenly I was the complete outcast, the group closed up and ostracised myself and DH, despite the complaint not being directed at this teacher.

We lost our friendship group and even wider friends in one fell swoop which hurt so much. I suspect that the teacher (who is so far up her own backside she can kiss her teeth) did her level best to drag our names through the mud even though we had a legitimate complaint to make about the school and how they were treating a number of children who were set to go to a secondary school that wasn’t the choice of the school. Not one of them have actually ever had the guts to speak to me or tell me what I was meant to have done and even 15 years later it hurts when I see them and they blank me.

I’d love to ask them what their problem is after all this time, it was a hurtful, childish and ‘mean girl’ thing to do. I’d have preferred it if one of them had the guts to actually tell me at the time that I’d done something to upset someone. All I can think of is the school complaint. I can absolutely guarantee that if there was an issue with the schooling of one of their children they would have done exactly the same thing.

Did your husband never ask what was going on? Does he think the school issue caused it?

Why does everyone else here know what “ wendied” is?

To be honest the way you write about the “queen bee” it sounds as though if there hadn’t been the issue with the school you would have found some other issue to gripe about.

I think after 15 years you do need to move on. What’s the saying? A grudge rots the pocket you keep it in, I don’t think you can have many pockets left.

The way you refer to this group is a bit drama/immature tbh. The name-calling, this kind of thing ^ (which is simply ridiculous); people 'dancing to the tune' of 'the main instigator.'

Whatever the issue is, the way you talk about them is a bit distracting.

What a set of witches! So sorry OP

I think the reason the OP can't get over it is because she still sees these people around and they blank her. People who used to be her close friends. And she doesn't know why. It's pretty disturbing really.

No. A lot of people take the path of least resistance. It’s shitty when you’re on the other end, but it’s true.

It's gone past time to let it go, though I can see how living in a small village might rub your nose in it a bit. But 15 years later and you're still very aggrieved - I think you should work on discarding these people from your thoughts.

Oh, I like that saying, never heard that one.

This. I get it from the context, I think, but 'wendied'. Where does it come from?

I am aware of that and it is using a specific female name in a negative way.

15 years. 15 years. 15 bloody years. Who have you affected by holding all this anger and resentment for this long? YOU!!!! Nobody else at all in this silly childish scenario, they probably never give you a second thought. FFS forget the whole stupid episode, it's ridiculous to witter on about it 15 years later!

How kind.

It’s very hurtful. Did DH not ask his best man?

what was the school complaint about?

What?

It’s the other people blanking her in the street that are holding onto it, surely?

I can’t believe anyone would be fine about their close friends blanking them for years especially when they regularly bump into them. And presumably if you live in a village it’s not that easy to avoid them or find another group of friends to replace them.

I agree with those people who think your ex friends who dumped you can’t be real friends if they did this so easily. And they all sound a bit pathetic if they copy each other’s hobbies and all gang up against someone. I’m in a group where two people have fallen out and the rest of us refuse to take sides.

We are definitely seeing only one side of the story here.