What do you consider late?

[TheOnlyWayIsYazz]

I don't mean for something like a job interview where punctuality is vital, or for anything with a rigid start time. I mean just to meet someone or get somewhere in general.

When I'm meeting one friend of mine - who I do love dearly, by the way! - she insists on messaging me to let me know what time she's planning to leave, what time she HAS left and then, if she's even a couple of minutes behind schedule, will message again to say she's going to be a few minutes late; usually with added detail around the tube getting stuck behind the red signal, the escalator being broken or whatever. It makes me laugh, because if two or three minutes either way matters, she could be 30 seconds earlier by not sending the bloody messages 😁

I'm totally different. I wouldn't even notice someone being less than ten minutes late; it just feels like a normal margin of error. I certainly wouldn't message. If you're going to be 20 minutes or half an hour late then yes, tell me, but otherwise, why bother? I'm not your boss; I'm not going to make you do overtime to make up for it!

All the messaging is odd. However, for me the following applies, in any situation...

Being early is on time
Being on time is late, and
Being late is unforgivable

;)

I would always let someone know if I was going to be even a minute late - it’s just common courtesy.

I would do what your friend does. Better than just swanning in late without warning. Late is late so turning up at 1.01 for a 1.00 meet up with no warning is rude.

With mobiles there is little excuse

My husband and his family think 2 hours either way is acceptable so I feel like I've been conditioned just to never expect any one to be on time at this point 😂

Your friend sounds like my kind of person TBH.

I don’t really think about 5-10 minutes if it’s seeing a friend, on their part. I tend to aim for 10 minutes early so if the train gets stuck I’m there on time. I wouldn’t notice a couple of minutes at all.

I did have a friend who was constantly half an hour late, in my mind that’s incredibly rude.

I think what she's doing is within the realm of normal. Surely if she is on public transport or has been delayed by traffic then she is sending the messages whilst waiting to continue the journey, and isn't delaying herself at all by sending a text.

We all know there are plenty of people who are mortally offended by anyone arriving late even in short increments. I usually update out of politeness rather than fear of recrimination.

I don't mind or take it personally if others are late but if it's going to be more than 5 or 10 minutes it's nice to know so you can get on with other things. For example I met a friend in the city recently and we agreed a meeting point, she messaged to say she'd be 15 mins late so I spent 15 minutes browsing a bookshop rather than standing around doing nothing, which was preferable.

100% this. 1 minute late is late!

I always let people know even if it is just a minute or 2

In part I think it depends what we're doing. If it's just a coffee and we agreed about 10, I'm not going to complain that you turned up at 10.10 bit different if it's a hooked event

Anything after 5 mins

Absolutely,rather that than wondering where she is!

I’d let someone know if I was going to be 5 minutes late or more so they can get a drink without me or whatever instead of sat there waiting

Late is late. That’s not necessarily a problem, especially if you let the person know (particularly if they are waiting to meet you somewhere rather than at home anyway).

But standing around outside when someone is more than 5 mins late and they haven’t let you know is rude and inconsiderate. It’s not the lateness itself - that happens. Just tell me and I’ll go off and get a coffee or whatever..

My sister is late to everything always has been I know if I say meet at 11am coffee she’ll turn up at 20-30mins late so I just say 10.30am now assuming she’s late. I’m more a if I’m going to be over 5mins late I’ll text. Depends on the person your meeting. My youngest DD teen can never get ready on time the oldest dd is always ready on time. It’s in built I think!

Anything more than 5 minutes needs a message. Anything towards 20 or 30 minutes is rude, depending on how far we were meeting

I might be in the minority but I think late is anything past the time you agreed to meet, so I'd really appreciate the updates.
It's normally people who are late who have no problem with lateness as they have never been the person left waiting.

It depends on a few things - some friends I would plan to be early and would let them know if I was going to be even 2 mins late as they are anxious. Others I would probably say ‘see you at 1, or quarter past ish’. It would also depend if we were meeting at a cafe/pub where they’d be comfortable, or outside where I’d feel bad at them standing like a lemon. And of course it depends on mobile signal!

I'm one of those people who would rather sit outside in their car for 10 minutes rather than be late.

But for meeting a friend, anything more than 5 minutes would be late to me. It's just rude not to bother to arrive on time.

I'd message if it would be more than 5 minutes. If I was in a position where I could message without it delaying me further, i.e. on a bus or whatever, I'd message if I would be late at all.

I think late is any time after the arranged meet time. 10 minutes is taking the piss if its a regular thing.

I generally message people to let them know I'm leaving mine and that I'll be "however many minutes it takes to get there" if I was then going to be late for whatever reason (sudden traffic, bus not turning up) I'd let someone know even if it was by a short amount of time, and roughly by how long, thats just common courtesy

I’d message if I thought I was going to be even 1 minute late, I despise lateness in both myself and others so it very very rarely happens!

I am more like your friend. I don't constantly message but if I was going to be even slightly after the agreed time I would. That rarely happens though because I tend to get places early as I leave in good time, build in contingency and so on.

Being early is on time
Being on time is late, and
Being late is unforgivable
@Queenncat Yes! This is me too.

Twice this year I have been on tours with other people. Frequently there is an arrangement that we will all meet at a certain place at a set time for whatever the next activity is. It soon becomes really noticeable that it is always the same person/people who arrive last. Not late necessarily. Bang on time in fact. But still last while everyone else in the group gets there a few minutes early and is then waiting for this person/people. Same person. Every. Single. Time.

Exactly!

I'm with your friend. I'll always let people know if I'm a few minutes late.