What do you consider late?

[TheOnlyWayIsYazz]

I don't mean for something like a job interview where punctuality is vital, or for anything with a rigid start time. I mean just to meet someone or get somewhere in general.

When I'm meeting one friend of mine - who I do love dearly, by the way! - she insists on messaging me to let me know what time she's planning to leave, what time she HAS left and then, if she's even a couple of minutes behind schedule, will message again to say she's going to be a few minutes late; usually with added detail around the tube getting stuck behind the red signal, the escalator being broken or whatever. It makes me laugh, because if two or three minutes either way matters, she could be 30 seconds earlier by not sending the bloody messages 😁

I'm totally different. I wouldn't even notice someone being less than ten minutes late; it just feels like a normal margin of error. I certainly wouldn't message. If you're going to be 20 minutes or half an hour late then yes, tell me, but otherwise, why bother? I'm not your boss; I'm not going to make you do overtime to make up for it!

I would message if I was going to be even a minute late so they knew I was on the way. Late is any time after the agreed time!

She's being polite isn't she? Letting you know she's late. I daresay one text would be enough tho and not so descriptive!

Are you sure she’s not doing it because you, by your own admission, see 10 mins late as no big deal, wouldn’t even bother messaging if it’s less than 20 and she’s annoyed at having to sit in a restaurant or wherever on her own waiting for you and wants you to reply with confirmation you’re also en route and not going to be 15 mins late without telling her??

But in answer to your actual question I’d message if more than a couple of minutes if it was a 1:1 meet up and I knew my friend would be waiting on their own. In a larger group probably wouldn’t bother unless it was more than 5-10.

I guarantee everyone hates you and thinks you're flaky! It's not hard to be on time. If you've arranged to meet someone at a certain time, meet them when arranged, not within some arbitrary time bubble that only exists in your own head

It's soooo rude and arrogant and self centred to be late all the time, purely because you CBA. Suggests very strongly that you think your time is more important than mine, and that you are more important than me. I will tolerate it for a short while - maybe put up with it 3 or 4 times and then I'm done.

Funnily enough, these same people always manage to get to hair and beauty and medical appointments on time, and also manage to get to the airport and train station on time, it's just their 'friends' who have to suffer their ludicrous lateness.

Can't be arsed with tardiness, and inconsiderate, selfish people. Into the bin they go!

Oh, and 15 minutes late with no warning or notice is acceptable. Any longer than that with no warning and no apology and they get 3-4 chances and then I'm done.

I’ve got a friend who is regularly 1-2 hours late so I would really appreciate your friend and her updates 🤣

Anything after 2 minutes is LATE.

DH always faffs before we’re leaving for anywhere and it drives me nuts. One day, I swear I’ll drive off without him.

I’m an arrive early person. Most of my friends are arrive late people. I would expect an update if they were going to be beyond 10 mins late (ideally as soon as they know they are behind schedule - sometimes that could mean I have extra time at home or get a later train in).

I am another person who thinks early is on time. I am not exactly frustrated when someone is late but I do appreciate a text if they are going to be more than 5 minutes late.

10 mins I wouldn't really feel like I was late.
I hate early people, always pressuring everyone else to live at high speed like them. Like the pp above, cross that her tour mates arrived bang on time, 'making everyone else wait for them'. ?!!?! You've made yourself wait!!

My husband thinks upto an hour late is acceptable and doesn't think that's rude. I cannot make him understand he has kept someone waiting. His parents were always punctual so I don't understand why he thinks this behaviour is acceptable

Casual meet up at friends house for example in a bar or somewhere where time isnt essential I'm ok with to 10 mins either side of agreed time.

When I'm meeting friends when time is important, eg to catch a plane, to see a show etc the agreed time is paramount.

I’d give a ten minute grace but if more than that I want to know. And even if just ten minutes I’d text something like ‘just trying to find a place to park’ so they know I’ll be there shortly. It’s rude and inconsiderate to think it’s fine to rock up 20 minutes late.

One minute past the agreed time is late. But up to 10 minutes late can probably be forgiven, and doesn't require a message.
But generally, I consider that being late is rude, and I spend a lot of my time being early, so that I avoid it 😂

If I arrive somewhere I’m meeting a friend for a coffee, or a meal, or a drink, and they’re not there, I’ll text to say ‘Hi, I’m here (in case they’ve forgotten!), just getting a coffee/drink, see you inside’, and they’ll do the same.

No….20 mins is late. If courtesy text if we were meeting for lunch and say I’m about 15 mins away.

I’m like your friend. But to a large part this stems from anxiety as I have ADHD time blindness. I try so hard to be on time and feel awful when I’m not.

Not when you have been invited to someone’s home. Being early is rude

If they are bang on time then It’s weird that you would consider this in any way a flaw

I’d say 5 minutes or less, I wouldn’t bother letting someone know. Once I’m over the 5 minutes (or as soon as I knew I would be, if I knew in advance), I’d send a message. I give others slightly more leeway and wouldn’t be angry if they were 10 minutes late without a message.

I don’t believe people who say they’d let someone know if they were going to be a minute or two late. Absolute nonsense.

100% this. If you’re not early you’re late.

Oh yes you're right there. That's an exception!

Then you wait nearby till the exact time. But you won’t be late because you are ready.

If I say I will meet you at 12pm and it's 13.05, I'm late. Running late. I'd always text.

Keeping people up to date with things is a useful habit which you’ll find most people appreciate, I have friends who would be horrified if you turned up 10 minutes late without messaging them