AIBU To be excessively worried about DD’s safety as she leaves for university?

[MimiGC]

My DD has grown up in a small, very safe town. She’s a sensible girl, but never really had to be overly concerned for her safety on the streets before - public transport isn’t great here, so we’ve often given her lifts late at night. She’s now about to go to a big city (Birmingham) and I’m so worried for her. Obviously what you see in the media is always the worst of a place and I know I need to get things in perspective a bit more. I am thinking of getting her a personal alarm, for when she she’s walking home in the dark. AIBU?
If your DD has been to university in Birmingham, can you put my mind at rest?

I live in Birmingham and work in the city centre. Your DD will be fine, so long as she does obviously sensible things like sticking with friends and not wandering off by herself into the night completely rat arsed. It’s no better or worse than any big city.

Set up the Uber app on her phone, linked to your credit card and she’ll be able to get a safe taxi in any part of the city, at any time day or night, regardless of how much money she has.

I expect it will be a big change for her, but hopefully a great adventure. You’ll probably worry wherever she went and us Brunmies are by and large friendly sorts - she’ll be grand.

Also, I spent five days in Naples eight years or so ago, and I’d had enough after a couple of days. There were some amazing Roman sites but the place was absolutely filthy - dog poo, rubbish and graffiti everywhere - you spent a lot of time trying to not be run over by mopeds, people were not polite and the place generally had a bit of a dodgy air. I’d expected to really like it, but it was unsettling.

According to UK police tracking data, Birmingham ranks first out of 99 cities in England and Wales for the rate of "possession of weapons" offenses, sitting at over 300% of the national average.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy51kv7zq0vo

How is this helping OP

Both women assisted by members of the public……

no idea what your point is but offences like this occur in all cities- some other cities more recently than the report you linked

Yes, and unlike some cities people will help. Strangers don't ignore you.

My daughter is also going to Birmingham in September. The area where the university is situated is actually really nice - it's very leafy and a beautiful place to live. It's not massively close to the city centre. We live about half an hour away from Birmingham so she knows the city well. I'm no more worried about her than I would be about her going to any other university.

I'm sure there are. She's been trying to move for some time so I'm not about to start convincing her to stay!

I am not suggesting you convince her to stay. I am just making the point that her view of Birmingham is incorrect.

Obviously you are being unreasonable to be excessively worried.

FWIW, our daughter did her degree at University of Birmingham and loved it.

Honestly it just gets easier once you start to know their routines, and when they’ve established a good friendship group and have found their favourite local places to hang out.
My uni aged daughters and their friends are all so alert to safety issues these days , always checking each other get home safely, looking out for flatmates if one is on a date/ doesn’t return home when expected, watching each other on life 360! They really take care of one another.

By strangers or people they know?

Both Strangers and people they know well and people they have just met. But always male.

Are Ubers safe?
Forgive my ignorance, I've never used one.
Can't anybody just become an Uber driver, unlike licensed Black Cabs?

They are tracked and your friends, family etc can track it live. Also audio, video recording (if you switch it on).

And the drivers are properly checked - criminal records and all that?

Yes

Thank you.

I think her lived experience in her area has given her a different insight and I'm not going to demand she change her feelings based on the assertions of people online that she "should" feel safe. She doesn't.

I am not saying she should feel safe. Why would I when you haven't said what area she lives in Birmingham. My point is you can't extrapolate that and say that Birmingham isn't a safe place to live as a student. You don't live there and don't seem to know what area your neice lives in.

She lives in central Birmingham in the city centre. I'm not about to disclose her address!

You don't have to disclose her address. 1000s of people live in each ward. You obviously haven't got a clue where she lives. 1.2 million people live in birmingham and all live an easy commute to the centre. Do you seriously think everyone is too scared to go out at 5 p.m in winter?

I also have no idea how Ubers work. So if my daughter has the app on her phone, how can I track it ? And how does the audio and video recording work?

https://www.uber.com/pl/en/blog/share-your-ride/

It’s still worth taking the safety measures described in my and others posts. There have been incidences of other family members or friends ‘subbing’ in for the designated approved driver.