AIBU To be excessively worried about DD’s safety as she leaves for university?

[MimiGC]

My DD has grown up in a small, very safe town. She’s a sensible girl, but never really had to be overly concerned for her safety on the streets before - public transport isn’t great here, so we’ve often given her lifts late at night. She’s now about to go to a big city (Birmingham) and I’m so worried for her. Obviously what you see in the media is always the worst of a place and I know I need to get things in perspective a bit more. I am thinking of getting her a personal alarm, for when she she’s walking home in the dark. AIBU?
If your DD has been to university in Birmingham, can you put my mind at rest?

Lol. Where do you live?

😂

Firstly, that is not true and I think you may have made up your facts about the Russell Group university of Birmingham.

Secondly, if you RTFT you would see that the DC in question has a place at the Conservatoire so your nonsense about University of Birmingham is irrelevant.

My DS went to Birmingham very recently and experienced no crime or concerns at all, and nor did any of his female friends. The transport networks are excellent so getting around is easy. The advice about walking in pairs or groups is sound and applies literally everywhere.

I , sadly, knew three young women who have been murdered by males. All by boyfriends and all in a very affluent small town.

I know of a student who was stabbed and killed in Manchester, then there was the poor girl in Hull and of course the two in Nottingham. These are isolated incidents , of course but none of them is in Birmingham.

Birmingham has long had this reputation. I grew up in Glasgow, of all places and the one place my mum would not let me apply was Birmingham. I have never picked up any bad vibe in Birmingham city centre. The last place I went where I thought 'oh, this is a bit dodgy just outside the centre at night' was York... (that's where I went to uni so I know I came to no harm but it's less quiet in the dead of night now).

Exactly. Birmingham is my nearest city. I go out there all the time. It's a great place. Like an place/city, you have to be careful but people do sound a bit dramatic about not being able to go out at night

It's not even the second most dangerous in the UK so it's definitely not the second most in Europe. Turn off GB News.

if she’s anything like the youngsters in my town, she walks around with her phone in her back pocket, that needs to stop, it will be stolen- local pcso was lecturing local teenagers recently about taking sensible precautions (a kid had there’s stolen at the mall a drive away) also don’t cut down alleys. I went to Birmingham

Unless DD is planning to join a gang I think she'll be fine. Most of the crimes in big cities are organised crime groups, not petty theft. Make sure she always pays her dealer and doesn't lose her stash.

The most ridiculous is when people just leave their phones on tables. Can tell a tourist a mile off with that.

She later admitted she went to Edinburgh which is below Birmingham in the university league tables.

Birmingham is an excellent university and the Conservatoire is world-renowned.

Ah, yes, Edinburgh. Heroin capital of Europe...

Edinburgh is also the AIDS capital. Lots of awards. No wonder they're so snobbish 😂

That is such a great idea about the taxi fund - as long as it isn't 50 quid a week!

Myself and a close friend were both rped at uni. I was in my student room and it was a boy I knew who I thought was safe, and my friend got attacked in a car park walking to her car after work. Prepare her as much as you reasonably can. But once to have, you'll have to trust her that she will be sensible.*

This.

I am so sorry this happened to you Goldensandy I have heard about two incidences of this sadly.

She may well have evening lectures so that's a non starter. We don't finish until 7 or 8 sometimes!

My daughter is just starting her 4th year at Birmingham and loves it. I asked her your question and her experience is that it is a very safe place for students, based on following the excellent advice you're getting here. For example she and her friends stick to the bigger clubs in the city centre - the students know which are the safest and which to avoid - they always go (and travel home) with friends. You say your daughter is sensible: she will have loads of good advice from the uni and other students.
The hard thing though, as a parent, is letting go of the worry when your child is away from home. I would recommend arranging a trip to Birmingham in a few weeks, when your daughter has had a chance to settle in (if she is happy with a brief parental visit!). She can show you her room, (which she will have personalised creatively), and if you are not too embarrassing, you may be allowed to bump into some of her fellow students. Treat her to a meal at one of the places she has discovered to eat, and get her to show you her favourite bits of town. Have a stroll round the Bullring.
That way when you are at home thinking about your daughter, you can see her in the places she is, with like-minded peers, rather than in the threatening environments it is very natural for us as parents to imagine.
Also congratulations to her on getting into the Conservatoire. What an amazing achievement and opportunity.

My daughter is loving Uni. She has learnt by watching her peers various dangerous situations around female safety; drink spiking, drinking too much and losing control - becoming vulnerable, being alone in vulnerable situations such as walking alone late at night in back streets, drug taking (unfortunately rife where my daughter is). Your daughter sounds level headed and you don't want to worry her unnecessarily but I think it would be useful to have discussions around this especially if she has not been exposed to issues such as drugs and safety as a female (obviously it is not all males, no-one would suggest this, however having a daughter comes with a different set of issues - not more, not less but different and we can't avoid that).

The induction at the uni should cover personal safety in the city. Get her a personal alarm to carry if it eases your mind.

WTF has GB News got to do with Birmingham? Oh i forgot, it's the go to comment for lefties with their head in the sand. Do you remember a certain Israeli team not being allowed to visit Villa Park? There are unrecognisable parts of the city but you just trot out GBN/Reform/Farage to shut people up. Its now a shit hole save for select areas.

ETA no it's not one of the most dangerous places in Europe but it certainly doesn't resemble the city I grew up in.

I know Birmingham extremely well. I moved away from there to raise my family in a much quieter and safer place… Birmingham is extremely dangerous at the minute, my friends still live there… she won’t let her kids in the city centre anymore because of how bad it is. My advice is to get her on Uber, life360 and warn her. Even the “nice” bit of Birmingham had a woman stabbed recently. Not trying to worry you. But from someone who knows, it’s not safe.

https://www.numbeo.com/crime/region_rankings_current.jsp?region=150
Marseille at Number 1. Birmingham is number 2 for crime, Coventry at number 4.

Incredibly safe - maybe if you compare with Los Angeles

Go a bit further down the list Bradford, Manchester, and London. Frankly, we are being continually gaslighted by the likes of the London mayor.

Perception vs. Reality: These rankings largely reflect public perception and visitor surveys on Numbeo rather than official police records.

just a quick google

Lefty because I don't watch GB News. Give your small minded head a wobble.