AIBU To be excessively worried about DD’s safety as she leaves for university?

[MimiGC]

My DD has grown up in a small, very safe town. She’s a sensible girl, but never really had to be overly concerned for her safety on the streets before - public transport isn’t great here, so we’ve often given her lifts late at night. She’s now about to go to a big city (Birmingham) and I’m so worried for her. Obviously what you see in the media is always the worst of a place and I know I need to get things in perspective a bit more. I am thinking of getting her a personal alarm, for when she she’s walking home in the dark. AIBU?
If your DD has been to university in Birmingham, can you put my mind at rest?

I think we can all see your Birmingham hating agenda.

Most of us who have had student reside there say their students have been really happy and , importantly, safe.

I was actually struck by how clean Birmingham was looking around the station last week.

DS didn't see any rats in Selly Oak , unlike in our provincial back garden.

Any major city will have issues. Avoid drugs would be my first piece of advice. Doesn't matter what Uni you are at, taking drugs which are apparently easy to obtain could be fatal. Any bar in any town could see your drink spiked.

Yes, my concerns aren’t about Bournville- she be in Ruskin Hall all day and the travel there and back to the city centre on the train will be fine. It’s more going out socialising in the city itself I m worried about.

Where did you live in Birmingham? It certainly isn't extremely dangerous in the student areas or in many other areas. Stabbings can happen anywhere unfortunately.

She'll be fine, try not to pass on your fear into her. She's about to have a fantastic experience, let her enjoy it.

This

She's been applying for jobs outside of the city for ages, just nothing has come up as a result. She's trying! And yes, she's in a bad area.

Although I did read elsewhere in the thread that OP's daughter will be living in Bournville which is lovely and not dangerous to my knowledge. I was under the impression she was talking about central.

UoB campus is very nice, has great public transport and mostly academics hang out there.
The university in City centre is in a very busy area so I would also be concerned.
Any Uni can be daunting, it's very hard to fully prepare your child.im sure you will advise her to be alert and stay with a group when it's dark etc

I doubt that students go out a lot in the city centre tbh. It's probably more lively in the student areas.

She won’t be living in Bournville, just travelling there every day. They don’t have any student halls there. She’ll be living in university accommodation in Curzon Street, which is in B4. I don’t know Birmingham at all, it’s a long way from here and I’ve never had cause to go before.

How you feel doesn't necessarily reflect reality though. It depends where you walked. Some areas of Birmingham are much safer than some areas of manchester.

She’ll be ok OP. We are in a big city and you get used to it. Can you add her to your Uber account and encourage her to not walk alone at night.

I live in Birmingham and work near Bournville. I feel much safer here than I have in London, Manchester or Leeds.

Bournville and surrounding areas are very safe. Brum centre is like any big city in any country - don’t walk around pissed by yourself after dark.

I’ve never felt unsafe in an uber here. If it’s late and I’ve been drinking i do the uber ride share with DH so he can see where I am.

Just tell her not to go out on Broad Street, it’s a horrible shit hole. Tell her to get her mates and bus out to Kings Heath or Stirchley for nights out. They’re much better, nicer and safer, and have better music and cheaper beer.

It's by Aston university then. Fine in the day time and there are a lot of people around early evening too. Later at night walk with friends or use ubers.

Bollocks. Obviously some parts of brum are rough but the area around the uni is not and is adjacent to some of the nicest areas in Birmingham. City Centre is fine too.

Your niece needs some help for her anxiety if she genuinely won’t go out after dark. People live in far more dangerous spots than Birmingham (hell, I did as a young woman - central London has a higher crime rate than what you mention) and manage to venture out after sundown. The vast majority of those crimes will be people known to each other, if you’re sensible and take the precautions you’d take anywhere you’ll be fine. I find it really sad to think of a young person hiding at home.

It doesn't.

Everything you have written is absolute nonsense

I’ve never used an Uber in my life (they don’t operate here, though we have normal taxis of course). She will set up her own account.

Fair. Having my DC connected to mine means in an emergency he can always get a cab at my expense.

What a strange thing to suppose. My daughter has a place at the Royal Conservatoire, which I can assure you is very selective and has a lower acceptance rate than Oxbridge.

well as 1 in 4 women get sexually assaulted in their lifetime OP is right to be thinking about safety.

Every single one of us had rape alarms at uni. That was over 20 years ago. Never used it.

The advantage of linking it to your account is that she can always get an uber even if money is an issue- we put our 2 on the account even before they went to uni.

I lived in Birmingham in the 80’s and loved it- I still work there and walk through the city centre, I don’t feel afraid at all.

She doesn't have to apply for jobs outside the city. Lots of areas of birmingham are safe to walk around early evening regardless of whether it is dark. And there are trains into new street from most areas that run very regularly.