AIBU to lie about my holiday plans?

[whirlingswirlingsaucepan]

"Any plans for the holidays?" Is allegedly just an innocent, small talk question when conversation dries. In reality it isn't innocent and I really dislike the question.

We are fairly well off (I did not grow up wealthy). And enjoy travelling to far flung locations as a family. Always have. Whether on a budget when younger, or to nicer hotels now we have abit more cash. Somehow, most people around me, both rich and not-so-rich prefer to/can only afford to holiday in nearby/familiar locations (as another recent post has suggested).

As a result, my holidays gather undue interest. People get jealous or judgy. ("Oh, those awful rich kids that travel to South Africa for their holidays", as my teacher-friend once said about wealthy kids in her class). My holidays get talked about (People I never mentioned my holiday to ask how my holiday to so and so was). When asked my plans, I'd honestly rather just say "mostly going about town, maybe Brighton for a long weekend".

I do answer this at work, very successfully. Its nobody's business. Once I did mention to my boss that we were going somewhere nice, and he had this self-pity thing about only being able to afford to go to Dorset. Never again. In reality, SOME people are abit dishonest, and can afford more exotic locations, but choose not to prioritise them. Which is fine, but why the self-pity? (obviously most people can't afford expensive holidays)

The problem at home is: a) My husband is incredibly honest, and doesn't care what people think, so tells our plans exactly when asked. b) My 6 year old mentions our holidays to his classmates, (he enjoys the attention that he gets from teachers, other parents "ooooh, that's niiice"). c) I feel dishonest if I answer "Not much really", only for my child's friend to say "I thought you were going to Malaysia?".

Am I being unreasonable to want to lie about where I go on holiday? My holiday destination is for me and my family. Why is it such a common question to be asked (and judged) by people at work / I barely chat to at the school gate? Also by friends, who then get jealous.

YANBU unreasonable: "Lie away". Also suggestions please on how to overcome stated husband/child disclosure difficulties.

YABU: Please do tell me why it's unreasonable, and what I should do instead?

Completely agree with this. How utterly self centred to think everyone cares so much about your holiday? You’re making yourself look ridiculous if you lie.
A not so subtle stealth boast, both here and IRL.

I get this 100%. It feels awkward. Especially when they never go on holiday but you have to say, 'and what about you?' I sometimes feel almost embarrassed especially when they say 'oh i'm so jealous' and mine aren't even far flung holidays!

@whirlingswirlingsaucepan

This.

Enjoy your lovely holidays!

I can't say I've ever given it a second thought.

You are so massively over-thinking this.

The ONLY holiday I would raise an eyebrow to is Dubai as it is so soulless. (Yes, been there as my best mate lived there for 3 years and she also found it soulless).

Who cares what people think or say? If theyre interested then answer their questions. If they say "only" France I'd say that I LOVE France and hope they have an amazing time.

You are being unreasonable to want to lie at all. Find domething proper to worry about

Are you judging every poster on this thread too? Tech & Cloud has surpassed the airline industry.

Aviation Industry: Produces roughly 1 billion metric tons of CO2 annually globally (about 2% to 2.5% of global emissions). Domestic U.S. commercial aviation accounts for around 131 million metric tons.

Tech & Cloud Industry: Responsible for 2% to 4% of global greenhouse gas emissions. Driven by rapid digitization and artificial intelligence, the cloud and data center footprint now rivals or surpasses commercial aviation.

I have this too! If I ask about someone's holiday I'm genuinely interested but a lot of people know that I don't fly for leisure trips any more and so they get all defensive. It genuinely fascinates me how people put together their holidays and all the details about what they've chosen to do and where they do it and there's no judgement there*

I love to holiday both in Europe and close to home. But I have been told by certain people that my holidays are rubbish and I should go to the Caribbean where it's warmer and the drink is cheaper (I hate the heat and really don't drink enough to care that much about price of it). People are weird about holidays but don't add to the awkwardness by trying to lie about it - that would just make it worse.

*Well, a tiny bit of judgement for things like a helicopter flight over a glacier, resorts built on rainforest land, unethical wildlife tourism but even then I'd try really hard not to show it and i'd still be interested in what they were looking forward to/what they thought of it when they got back.

It's divided by a lot more people though. And the decision to fly is much more discretionary (most people have no choice about using tech for work and home. Most airline travel is leisure and therefore personal choice, most people would opt out of AI and bug data if they could)

Up to you how you answer but i am very very grateful we can do the amazing trips we do so i don’t hide it. As long as not bragging it’s fine to say where your going.

Haha. No stealth boast in the slightest. Just the reality of my existence. You illustrate my point perfectly. I'm just stating, as pure unadulterated fact that (through no fault of my own) I am able to afford pricier holidays than alot of people (including some of my friends and family).

But you take it as a stealth brag. Which other people also do.

So I either have to apologise to you for having more money than you. Or find richer friends. And I don't want richer friends. I really like my friends and family. So my options, as far as I can see, are lying, apologising or crossing my fingers.

I have plenty of friends that can afford pricier holidays than me. That's life.