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AIBU?

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AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? PART 2

663 replies

CoventryCity · 24/08/2026 11:09

'Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK

UK arrivals have been told to treat women equally, not sexually assault partners or have sex with children in a new Home Office pamphlet. As well as the guidebook, a series of posters have also been designed by the government.'

https://news.sky.com/story/asylum-seekers-warned-not-to-make-kissing-sounds-at-people-in-new-guidance-about-living-in-uk-13574744

Previous thread here:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Page 40 | AIBU to think if we need to politely ask men not to rape women (or men), then we don't want such people in the UK? | Mumsnet

Don't rape, sexually assault or make kissing noises' at people, asylum seekers warned in guidance about living in UK UK arrivals have been told to tre...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5568695-aibu-to-think-if-we-need-to-politely-ask-men-not-to-rape-women-or-men-then-we-dont-want-such-people-in-the-uk?page=40&reply=154338993

OP posts:
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19
NancyThompson · 24/08/2026 14:28

Pairymoppins · 24/08/2026 13:39

I write this in the full knowledge that it won’t change any minds on this thread. However…
I worked with this cohort of young males for many years, teaching English. We often did have problems with their behaviour and attitudes towards female students. I agree that their cultures have some attitudes to women that are offensive. However in most cases they were very young and this was all that they had known. They were not immoral or evil as a group. Many will over time adjust their attitudes and behaviours towards the norms of where they now live. Some won’t of course and I agree that the numbers and issue of integration are problematic. But demonising a whole group in this way is wrong.

Were you concerned for the safety of women in the time it did take them to adjust their attitude?
Honestly what you say isn't all that reassuring, like using the qualifier "most".

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 24/08/2026 14:34

Pairymoppins · 24/08/2026 13:39

I write this in the full knowledge that it won’t change any minds on this thread. However…
I worked with this cohort of young males for many years, teaching English. We often did have problems with their behaviour and attitudes towards female students. I agree that their cultures have some attitudes to women that are offensive. However in most cases they were very young and this was all that they had known. They were not immoral or evil as a group. Many will over time adjust their attitudes and behaviours towards the norms of where they now live. Some won’t of course and I agree that the numbers and issue of integration are problematic. But demonising a whole group in this way is wrong.

i don’t want to demonise anyone. I’m really happy to have those young men existing in their own countries alongside their own customs and practises. I think they are wonderful, brilliant people over in their own wonderful, brilliant land 👍

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 14:35

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 14:26

Pretty sure that if the majority of men coming in illegally were Israeli or even just Jewish most the 'but white men are as bad' posters would be very keen to talk about nationality or ethnicity. They would supporting closed borders and deportations too.

Oh what very obvious hypocrisy we are witnessing.

Good point. The anti 'zionism' hatred would soon show its ugly face again. No demanding comparative statistics/proof of threat in that case. I mean, a group of Tel Aviv football fans can't even come here legally to watch a match in our second capital city.

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 14:35

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 24/08/2026 14:34

i don’t want to demonise anyone. I’m really happy to have those young men existing in their own countries alongside their own customs and practises. I think they are wonderful, brilliant people over in their own wonderful, brilliant land 👍

😆 🤣

Windsurf · 24/08/2026 14:36

AceInSpace · 24/08/2026 14:20

The previous poster’s suggestion did sound familiar.
Maybe they should pause and see what/who they sound like.

So should you

Nuthatch26 · 24/08/2026 14:39

Pairymoppins · 24/08/2026 13:39

I write this in the full knowledge that it won’t change any minds on this thread. However…
I worked with this cohort of young males for many years, teaching English. We often did have problems with their behaviour and attitudes towards female students. I agree that their cultures have some attitudes to women that are offensive. However in most cases they were very young and this was all that they had known. They were not immoral or evil as a group. Many will over time adjust their attitudes and behaviours towards the norms of where they now live. Some won’t of course and I agree that the numbers and issue of integration are problematic. But demonising a whole group in this way is wrong.

They are demonised as a group because there is no way of telling which ones are dangerous, and we know that the vast majority come from countries where women are treated worse than livestock.
Women here shouldn't have to be the guinea pigs. We rarely deport them even after they've committed a crime, so once they're here, we're stuck with them.
You freely admit that some have problematic attitudes to women, yet go on to defend them. It reminds me of the debates on XL bullies, because 'they're not all bad'. The only way to find out is to wait until they've attacked someone.

Somerford · 24/08/2026 14:42

AceInSpace · 24/08/2026 14:20

The previous poster’s suggestion did sound familiar.
Maybe they should pause and see what/who they sound like.

PP: "I don't want to increase the risk of me or my children being raped"

You: "I desperately need to call this woman a Nazi"

BasildonBonds · 24/08/2026 15:26

smallglassbottle · 24/08/2026 13:41

But it's being done deliberately. There is no intention of stopping or of putting our own population first. Our council has bought up dozens of houses in the area to house them. Meanwhile, there's a veteran living rough in some woodland because he can't get anywhere to live.

This is never going to stop. This is the UK going forward. We're fkd, Europe is fkd. I want to go and live in the Carpathian mountains or something. Too old to leave the country. Constant worry about the young adult dcs who can't just up and leave either.

Nobody is strong enough to stand up to the forces that are doing this. The west is weak and accustomed to peacetime living. Doesn't value freedom. Only those who know how valuable freedom is, know what it means to lose it. We're fkd.

But it's being done deliberately

By whom and why, though?

SomethingHasGotToBeDoneAboutYourKids · 24/08/2026 15:42

Thanks for the new thread.

Just to correct Nomas’s final false claim on the previous thread, as everybody else will have seen when I posted the spreadsheet splitting the data provided by the CPS/ MOJ (of prosecutions and convictions for rape last year, by ethnicity) I specifically stated that I had used this data and split it per capita of population. That was the entire point of the spreadsheet I posted.

The data regarding the ethnic makeup of the whole UK population as a percentage by ethnicity - the categories that the CPS used to record the crime data - are used across Government and also by the ONS to provide data on the UK population as a whole, so I simply used the MOJ data and ONS data and basic maths to add extra columns showing the number of prosecutions/ convictions per 10,000 of population. This was important to add to the thread because some people were making absurd comments like “most rapes are committed by white men” when in the UK that will obviously be the case because the vast majority of the population is white. What is important is the relative risk that men from different cultures pose to women and children.

This was all explained in the previous thread, but Nomas appeared to have progressed from stating that the data wasn’t included in the thread and there was no difference in offending rates by ethnicity, to then claiming the data wasn’t valid. Then when a link to its publicly available source was provided, he/ she seems to have been trying to claim that the percentages of UK population of each ethnicity are invented despite this data also being publicly available via the ONS.

Yet still, unsurprisingly, her/ his only response was repeated and increasingly ridiculous attempts to try to dispute the validity of publicly available data and basic maths, even with a spreadsheet provided so that anybody who wishes to could verify the mathematical calculations.

He/ she has still provided absolutely no answer as to whether a) he/she believes that we should not discuss the fact that the data shows that men from some ethnicities/ cultural backgrounds are ten times more likely to commit rape as others because this might hurt people’s feelings, and that this fact shouldn’t impact our decisions on who we decide to allow to come to live in the UK because she/ he thinks that the women and children who are exposed to avoidable and higher risks of rape as a result should just be considered collateral damage; or b) whether she/ he will cease their repeated attempts to pretend - contrary to all of the data - that all men pose the same risk to women and children.

I wonder whether we’ll ever get an answer.

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 15:45

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 14:35

Good point. The anti 'zionism' hatred would soon show its ugly face again. No demanding comparative statistics/proof of threat in that case. I mean, a group of Tel Aviv football fans can't even come here legally to watch a match in our second capital city.

I said it less to point out their anti zionist bias and more to point out that to them it depends who is on the boats or fiddling the student or work visas. They would have a different react if it was people that don't support their batshit crazy politics or in some cases their ideology

GunnelVallquist · 24/08/2026 15:46

Somerford · 24/08/2026 14:42

PP: "I don't want to increase the risk of me or my children being raped"

You: "I desperately need to call this woman a Nazi"

👏

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 15:54

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 15:45

I said it less to point out their anti zionist bias and more to point out that to them it depends who is on the boats or fiddling the student or work visas. They would have a different react if it was people that don't support their batshit crazy politics or in some cases their ideology

Yes we are saying the same thing though. They have one goal in mind and that's to support any brown or black skin colour no matter what. They have tied themselves up previously when they didn't realise all Jews weren't white. Look at another recent major headline, involving education. Culture wars are prevailing over Europe because liberals refuse to see beyond race. It's actually them doing the racial profiling. I'm sick of the lot of them and their shit stirring division.

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I don't agree with your idea for two reasons:

  1. Identifiable clothes /badge /sash or whatever rings a little nazi style to my liking.
  1. They would still likely be a danger to women and girls no matter what they were wearing if inclined that way. If a man is hid in a bush or toilet cubicle being able to spot who they are after they have you trapped isn't going to help stop assault. It just may make it easier to identify after a traumatic life changing experience.
  1. I firmly believe if you enter the country illegally you should be held in a detention centre or one of these military bases without being able to leave at all. Therefore are no threat to local people in area.
seanconneryseyebrow · 24/08/2026 15:59

Anyone got a link to that pamphlet please?

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 16:01

Somebody had a great idea about housing them in military bases, training them up ready to fight back in their home countries them sending them back. Won't ever happen.

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 16:06

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 15:54

Yes we are saying the same thing though. They have one goal in mind and that's to support any brown or black skin colour no matter what. They have tied themselves up previously when they didn't realise all Jews weren't white. Look at another recent major headline, involving education. Culture wars are prevailing over Europe because liberals refuse to see beyond race. It's actually them doing the racial profiling. I'm sick of the lot of them and their shit stirring division.

True they really are the ones that put everything through the lense of race and insist that others must stay in the race box they have put them in. Hence calling people coconuts, choc ices etc for daring to have another opinion that isn't group think. When a white saviour does this though it isn't racist of course just a political opinion. They don't see that they are basically saying brown people are not allowed agency. Never in history have anti racists been so fuckwitting racist.

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 16:06

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 16:01

Somebody had a great idea about housing them in military bases, training them up ready to fight back in their home countries them sending them back. Won't ever happen.

I find that rather scary for several reasons

autumnwitch4 · 24/08/2026 16:07

Pairymoppins · 24/08/2026 13:39

I write this in the full knowledge that it won’t change any minds on this thread. However…
I worked with this cohort of young males for many years, teaching English. We often did have problems with their behaviour and attitudes towards female students. I agree that their cultures have some attitudes to women that are offensive. However in most cases they were very young and this was all that they had known. They were not immoral or evil as a group. Many will over time adjust their attitudes and behaviours towards the norms of where they now live. Some won’t of course and I agree that the numbers and issue of integration are problematic. But demonising a whole group in this way is wrong.

Is this supposed to be reassuring?

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 16:11

Neverstopwondering · 24/08/2026 16:06

I find that rather scary for several reasons

I know what you're probably thinking but so long as measures were tightly controlled, they would have no reason to say they were unfit to fight. Obviously it would be crucial that they were seen off out of the UK. As it's a strict idea. It's pie in the sky anyway.

5MinuteArgument · 24/08/2026 16:37

It's like being given a box of chocolates and being told 'only one of the chocolates is poisonous ... well, maybe two.'

What person in their right mind would eat the chocolates?

ProudBlackMomma · 24/08/2026 16:41

CoventryCity · 24/08/2026 13:26

They and the UAE have actually warned us about it. They can't believe how utterly stupid the west is being in accepting the worst of their societies without question. Not only that but housing them, paying them and giving them free medical care. At the expense of our own population.

Edited

It’s absolutely bonkers isn’t it? I fear in thirty years time we may all look around and shake our heads sadly at the mess the UK has become. It’s upsetting.

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 16:43

Why don't people understand that on average the average white British male is a lower risk profile than the average asylum seeker who is from a nation where women have no rights.

LuckyHazelFox · 24/08/2026 16:51

BubbleAndLeek · 24/08/2026 16:43

Why don't people understand that on average the average white British male is a lower risk profile than the average asylum seeker who is from a nation where women have no rights.

...because they'd rather back an unknown entity and lump most of our concerned men in as knuckledragging DV abusers. These are the same people saying not to demonise certain men and group them together. White British men are fair game though.

CoventryCity · 24/08/2026 16:53

Rape is a serious crime in the UK. You could go to prison, it could affect your asylum seeking case. Just could mind you. Cos actually it's not that serious. It's just women, and it's just rape. You see consequences for sex crimes in the UK - not that apparent actually. Good job you didn't end up going to another muslim country like Saudi Arabia, eh? They have serious consequences for such things from foreigners (not so much home nationals, that's another story). But not the UK. They'll give you a house, and cash (tax free!) in case you're sad. And there's no could there - you'll definitely get one! You knew that though didn't you? You lucky so and so.

OP posts: