AIBU to think a 10pm bedtime and 6am start is relatively normal in your 40s?

[Alwayschillyatnight]

A recent ex found it a real issue that i would go to bed between 9.30 and 10.30 (this is going upstairs to bed, not going to sleep. That takes a while longer!) and then regularly get up around 6-7am.
Twice a week i had to commute into London, about 90 minutes, so i would have to be up by 6 on that days immaterial. The rest of the week it just suited me to keep to that routine. I like being up early and going to bed a bit earlier stops me late night snacking.

The ex, a man in his mid 40s, without children stated categorically (and dont get me started on his always thinking he was right) that "most people our age wouldn't go to bed that early and get up early".

I believe he is skewed by his own - responsibility-free life and his ex wife who was also nocturnal in tendencies.

Personally everybody else i know my age generally keeps similar hours to me , except on rare occasions when you might stay up late to socialise and then regret it the next day!

So who is being unreasonable? This has been bugging me for weeks, despite the fact he is now an ex!

YABU - you live like a nun, he is right. Lighten up and stay up late.
YANBU - you are right and he is living like a teenager because he can and assuming its normal.

FWIW I would love to have the discipline to go to bed at 9.30 in order to get a full 8 hours but inevitably I’m still faffing around at 10.30-11

11pm.is an early night for me. I go to bed around 11-11.30 and wake at 7-7.30am.

Id like to be better at getting up earlier, but I definitely couldnt go to bed at 9.30.

It just depends how your day/schedule works. Most days here, at least one person is doing sport until 8.30pm.so we eat around 8.45pm which is fairly late, and doesnt work with early bedtime.

Neither I nor @Timeforachange26 has suggested that all partners have to go to bed at the same time, or even that our own partners have to go to bed at the same time as us. We’re merely saying that for us, having a partner who had to be in bed by 10pm wouldn’t work.

My partner and I don’t always go to bed at the same time. But neither of us would ever go to bed as early as 10pm - if we go to bed at different times it’s more likely one going up at midnight and the other going up at 1am or something. If one of us routinely had to be in bed by 10pm, it would mean we wouldn’t actually spend much quality time together. It’s not about right or wrong - just about compatibility. People can have their preferences.