Is it just me or do mums who don’t breast feed seem happier?

[ChristmasBaby2026]

As my username suggests I’m having a baby in December - my first one!

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting obviously and how we want to do things and I’ve been starting to feel like I don’t want to rely on breastfeeding which is at odds with everyone around me who seems to be exclusively breast feeding, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.

I’m happy to give it a go but I can’t see myself going to great lengths to make it happen if it isn’t easy. The mums I know who are EBF seem tired, stressed, housebound or chained to their baby and their babies seem a lot more fussy. Lots of worry about latch, sore nipples, engorged breasts and whether their baby is eating enough as well. Basically the whole thing seems like it is making early parenting miserable.

By contrast I had lunch with a friend who is exclusively formula feeding and everything seemed like so much less faff. Baby was chill, didn’t need constant feeding during lunch, husband is really involved and sharing feeds. They seemed so much happier!

“I’m happy to give it a go but I can’t see myself going to great lengths to make it happen if it isn’t easy.”

This is exactly how I felt when I was pregnant but when the baby arrived my hormones were crazy and convinced me that I HAD to do it, so I persevered even though it was pretty hard. I’m glad I did.

At the end of the day though, fed is best, and whatever you pick is totally valid! X

Love this 👏

I have 2 year old twins and they just go to bed at bedtime. We have a routine but it isn’t long and they don’t need me to go to sleep which I see as a good thing.

I FF my babies. There's pros and cons. Obviously others can feed your baby. But ff comes with a lot of stuff, its expensive. Some partners sadly dont help and the mother is still exclusivey feeding. It's a faf prepping the bottles. Would I do it again. Yes, because I didn't want to breast feed. But honestly do whatever you want to do. A lot of my friends breast fed and loved it. Some didn't. Best of luck with your little one

I was the same.

anecdotally, in my friendship group of 6,
half of us FF and the other half BF. The BF babies were the ones who didn’t sleep.

Also, my mainly FF children are never ill (touch wood), have no allergies… 🤷🏻‍♀️

My son who was breasted is hardly poorly and no allergies.

Not really the main thing I am concerned about but it seems to be that some women lose the weight breastfeeding whereas others are more likely to hold onto it or eat more because it makes you so hungry - so difficult to predict really could go either way in that department

Tbh I was quite worried about this, but with my first I was back down to 9 1/2 stone around three weeks after my son was born, and with my second less than two years later I went down to 9st 2lbs less than two months after she was born so don’t worry that you won’t lose the weight unless you bf

Combi feeding and pumping would be my last choice! Its the worst of both worlds 🙈
I formula fed my older two and breastfed my youngest til she was almost 3.
They main benefit I found of breastfeeding was the pure handiness of it. Food in tap whenever you needed it, no prep, no washing, no sterilising.
If breastfeeding hadn't of worked out I would have just went to formula.
I notice zero difference in my children from who was breastfed and who wasn't.
I may just be lazy though, but man pumping just seemed like a lot of work 🙈
The first 8 weeks are rough anyway no matter what way you feed your baby

No, mothers with easygoing babies are happier. Mothers with Velcro babies who cry all day are unhappy.
I BF DD. She was a great baby. I bottle fed DS he was a crier, Velcro baby, he’s still unhappy and grumpy, she’s still a sweetheart. I don’t think it has much to do with feeding, if anything the breast was easier for me with less preparation required.

I wonder why so many people failed at it . Jus t a thought

I was just pointing out that you don't have to be breastfeeding to lose the baby weight. If you are lucky it can come off anyway.

I said don’t come for me - I said what worked for me.

Succesfully fed 3 and had 3 sleepers. I think on demand is misinterpreted as when a baby cries. I don’t care if it’s natural to fall asleep on the boob - I would not do it had had 3 excellent sleepers as a result.

Bf is a great calorie burner. I lost all my baby weight (and I'd put on waaayyy too much) in six months. Both times. Midwife told me bf burned 1000 calories a day.

I exclusively breast fed my dd and it made me extremely happy.

It wasn’t always easy at the beginning but once I mastered it I loved it. It definitely helped forge our bond, I loved not having to faff around with bottles and sterilising etc, we co-slept so nights were easy and we both slept better as there was no wait for a feed and no getting out of bed. We could go anywhere any time without all the planning ff requires.

But what will make you happy is doing what works best for you and your baby. Why not wait until baby arrives and see how you feel. I had no idea bf’ing would be such a wonderful experience for me.

I have four kids. Two bottle fed, two breastfed for 2+ years.

I was happier when bf. No spending £11 on tins of formula , worrying what we would do if suddenly skint/had power cut etc. No having to sterilise and make up bottles and warm them or cool them. No having to pack up and plan if we were going to go out for the day and lug it all around.

That is a massive faff compared to popping your breasts out where the milk is ready to go.

It’s all very individual though. Not everyone finds formula feeding a faff and some people don’t find breastfeeding as easy as just popping your breasts out.

I breastfed both of mine, one has a number of (minor) health issues, allergies, prone to infections, needs glasses. Things like that. The other is the opposite, never unwell and not a single health issue.

Both breastfed for the same length of time. Obviously my sample is small, but I don’t think how you feed has much to do with it in the grand scheme of things. My dc’s health problems are probably down to genetics more than anything.

That only applies if you have good supply. I didn’t, had milk delay because of a difficult birth/haemorrhage and then low supply because of a medical condition, so BFing was uncertain and didn’t properly feed my baby.

I do remember going to a BFing support group for help with combi-feeding. The other mums were sat in a group looking exhausted and pretty miserable. Periodically someone would say “it’s so worth it” or similar. And everyone would nod and agree. It was like no one was allowed to say anything else. My combi-feeding raised eyebrows and I was made to feel very unwelcome.

You can’t just dismiss the huge pressure on new mothers as “relationship problems” like it’s some regrettable anomaly when fathers dont support their wives effectively.

the sleep issue was a huge deal for me. Some people don’t seem to mind missing sleep but being sleep deprived for months continuously really knocked a hole in my heath and happiness. It was hard to enjoy anything when I felt that ropey. I did - I enjoyed my babies very much - but I never felt well or energetic.

I went to a wedding, child free, when my first child was about 18 months and spent time with another friend whose baby was something like 6 weeks, also attending child free. Her bottle fed baby spent every Saturday night at his grandmother’s house, so this night away with her husband took no special planning. She looked as good in 6 weeks as it had taken me nearly a year to achieve in terms of post birth recovery. I was jealous that her maternity leqve was fun and relaxed, including days out and weekends away, and all kinds of things I was far too exhausted to plan or execute.

many will say that that is my fault - days out with bf babies are easy etc etc. sure, that’s just me, it was only my temperament stopping me. But that’s my temperament. I can’t change it. I certainly tried! I was never happy until I was able to have enough time on my own to sleep and relax for a whole night, or enough hours in the day to concentrate and get something done.

i know nature didn’t intend it. But I need it

“Popping “ breasts out isn’t that simple . For one thing you can end up cluster feeding for hours on end at the start. Then there is the possibility of a poor latch , poor supply , sore nipples . The fact you can’t really go out for an hour or two without your baby and let a partner take over . One great thing about formula feeding is that you have so much more freedom and sleep when a partner can feed the baby . Also you can buy ready to feed bottles and just pour them into a bottle when out . Which is easy .

I think EBF is harder at the beginning, but much easier in the long run. The cluster feeding only really last 8 weeks or so, by four months, we were feeding every 3 hours for so for only 10mins. Getting out of the house was very easy, only needed to grab the nappy bag, no prep needed.

We travelled to Malaysia at 6 months and I don't think I could have managed it if I wasn't breastfeeding! Fed to sleep on my lap for naps on the plane, if he got a bit fussy or hungry, the boob came out. Other babies were screaming for hours.