Is it just me or do mums who don’t breast feed seem happier?

[ChristmasBaby2026]

As my username suggests I’m having a baby in December - my first one!

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting obviously and how we want to do things and I’ve been starting to feel like I don’t want to rely on breastfeeding which is at odds with everyone around me who seems to be exclusively breast feeding, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.

I’m happy to give it a go but I can’t see myself going to great lengths to make it happen if it isn’t easy. The mums I know who are EBF seem tired, stressed, housebound or chained to their baby and their babies seem a lot more fussy. Lots of worry about latch, sore nipples, engorged breasts and whether their baby is eating enough as well. Basically the whole thing seems like it is making early parenting miserable.

By contrast I had lunch with a friend who is exclusively formula feeding and everything seemed like so much less faff. Baby was chill, didn’t need constant feeding during lunch, husband is really involved and sharing feeds. They seemed so much happier!

Can you show me the peer reviewed evidence you’re referencing for this claim?

I’ll wait.

No. Formula feeding was great. Sharing the feeds was part of the reason why it was so great.

You’ll get the full range of comments here because every baby is different.
I breastfed mine and found it easy after a difficult few weeks. I aimed to get to 6 months and then carried on because the faff of taking a bottle out with me at that point seemed silly compared to popping my baby on the boob. They took a bottle for my husband/grandparents so that was fine. Kept going to 16 months because it was easy, even going back to work part time at 11 months.
Sleep was up and down but honestly didn’t see a link with breastfeeding either way. The nights they had a bottle vs boob made no odds.
You have nothing to lose from trying! It was one of the best things I did, but that’s my personal experience, and I know plenty of people who didn’t get on with it. All our babies are fine and healthy.

Especially as you had twins.

@OtterlyAstounding

before becoming a parent you never went to pubs or restaurants or whatever that weren’t family friendly? why? The food is often much better in restaurants that are more adult focused

I covered this in my first reply. Newborns need to form secure attachments to their primary care givers, predominantly mum, and then dad/other parent. Newborns are not dolls to be passed around so that great aunty Margaret can enjoy giving a bottle, they are developing humans, and the early weeks and months are important. If other family members/friends want to help they can bath, change nappies, rock, cuddle, baby wear, play/sing songs etc. Giving bottles is not the only way to help new parents or interact with a baby, and a superficial reason to put mum and baby’s health at risk from lack of breastfeeding.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2812877/

There’s that too. I wasn’t going to breastfeed anyway as I didn’t breastfeed DS but twins? I know some people do it and good for them but it wasn’t for me with one baby, nevermind two of them.

Two boobs, two babies, bottles are only easier for twins if there’s always someone around to help with feeds. Once you’re home alone it’s not as easy and often results in bottle propping etc.

@Boobiez

it can be yes, especially at 5am for example. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

Do you have twins?

Or 12am, 2am or 3am.

I found it really easy (once I got the hang of it!) and lots less faff, especially compared to friends with babies who had intolerances to certain formula etc. I think it just depends what works for you - I didn’t mind doing all the feeding, and I was able to go out for short periods early on, not that I ever really did, and longer periods from 6months once they started food.

Mine both started nursery around 6-7 months, and I breastfed them until 2. That said, as above, I found it pretty easy and it just didn’t bother me doing the night feeds etc. I’d just go with the flow once baby is here - my only parenting advice is that they are unpredictable little things so you really can’t plan things like this too far in advance! Just roll with it, and how you’re feeling, once they’re here.

I used distilled bottled water. I had a microwave steam bags for the office, and then did a full boil every evening.

Roll over, pull baby close, put boob in their mouth.

vs

Get up, soothe unhappy hungry baby whilst making a bottle, sit up to feed bottle, burp, rock and resettle baby, go back to bed.

I know which one of those sounds like a chore….

Except I’ve formula fed 3 children from birth and that 2nd option you describe isn’t my experience at all.

I’ve supported quite a few twin mums with feeding, both ebf and combi feeding. I’m not just guessing.

sure

So that’s a no then?

Its great when it works (did for some
of mine, not for others)

However breastfed babies are far worse sleepers than formula fed

Quite a few of these posts are saying that FF is easier based on practices that aren't recommended - improper heating/cooling/use of perfect prep.

We all make decisions as parents based on perceived risk but I think that that is worth highlighting.

You still have to burp baby after BF I presume. Let's not mention the added SID risk of them in your bed.

To be clear early weeks = 7-8 weeks as a newborn.

Nothing wrong with having a bottle of expressed milk by another primary care giver after that. I am glad you said primary care givers (plural) because we do need to get away from the myth that mum is the one and only primary care giver if one chooses to breast feed.

It’s funny how there’s no mention of the NHS recommending bedsharing above separate sleep spaces amongst all of the warnings stating the NHS not recommending perfect preps.

Oh wait.

The first one doesn’t match mine and I breast fed.
Roll over, pull baby close, put boob in their mouth.

The above is not a safe co-sleeping or breast feeding practice. I always sat up and held baby and baby was never so close as a roll over to me, they were in side car cots. Also, baby would usually need to be burped and fill their nappy towards the end of a feed, so a nappy change came with each night feed. We used cloth nappies but even if I’d used disposable ones, I wouldn’t let them sleep in their own urine or feces.

No, NHS recommends co-sleeping not bed sharing. There is a big difference between the two.

oh wait, I just realised perhaps you were being sarcastic? 🙃 we are in agreement then, :)