Is it just me or do mums who don’t breast feed seem happier?

[ChristmasBaby2026]

As my username suggests I’m having a baby in December - my first one!

I’ve been thinking a lot about parenting obviously and how we want to do things and I’ve been starting to feel like I don’t want to rely on breastfeeding which is at odds with everyone around me who seems to be exclusively breast feeding, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.

I’m happy to give it a go but I can’t see myself going to great lengths to make it happen if it isn’t easy. The mums I know who are EBF seem tired, stressed, housebound or chained to their baby and their babies seem a lot more fussy. Lots of worry about latch, sore nipples, engorged breasts and whether their baby is eating enough as well. Basically the whole thing seems like it is making early parenting miserable.

By contrast I had lunch with a friend who is exclusively formula feeding and everything seemed like so much less faff. Baby was chill, didn’t need constant feeding during lunch, husband is really involved and sharing feeds. They seemed so much happier!

Never sterilising anything isn't the reach you think it is.

I kind of had the opposite experience to you! Everyone I know who managed to establish breastfeeding found it far easier and seemed quite happy to just pop baby on whenever they needed it. Far less faffing than sterilising bottles, guaging temperature of formula, measuring how much they'd had etc!

Thanks, think I was more like one of those little stubborn dogs that is quite happy to clamp onto trouser legs and not let go until they get what they want than a superstar. 🐶

Well obviously this doesn't happen for everyone.

The NHS can only recommend making up each bottle fresh. The reality is, not many people do that.

I never had any issues and used prep machines for 3 DC’s.

It kind of is. I hated the 4x a day sterilising of my pump fixtures and the bottles the milk pumped into when I ran out of the disposable freezer safe milk bags.

It is so much faff especially when you have hard water.

Respectfully, even formula feeds should be on demand, not scheduled, and feeding to sleep is completely natural and normal and happens with bottle feeds as well as breastfeeds. It’s a developmentally normal behaviour and not a bad habit.

I live in one of those areas but I still used the Milton cold water steriliser to make sure they didn't get ill. You were lucky to get away with it.

Way more faff than sticking a mouth on your nipple

It isn’t a faff at all when someone else can do it.

“I never had any issues and used prep machines for 3 DC’s.”

Lots of babies do ‘ok’ despite various known unsafe parenting practices, that doesn’t mean they aren’t risky. You may have been lucky and not had a baby be poorly with gastroenteritis, but plenty of others have not been so lucky, which is why these machines are not recommended.

Is feeding your baby really such a chore?

Just a reminder before we read more smug mum posts that some women can't breastfeed due to medications or a bad birth or baby can't or won't latch like mine so maybe bear that in mind.

As a single parent i had no choice

I FF and found the first year really easy. Baby was always happy, chilled and slept through from 6 weeks. We shared the feeding and didn't find sterilising a 'faff' at all.

All of my friends and family breastfed and without exception, had difficult and stressful first years, with all of their children.

I dont think this is always the case, but can only speak of what I know.

I would do what feels right for you when the baby arrives. I was set up for both breastfeeding and FF and just went with FF.

You are probably best trying BF and seeing how it goes as you seem interested in trying. If your baby gets a few days or weeks then that's good enough. Formula feeding is not as much a faff as people are making out as pump equipment needs sterilised too. By the time baby is about 6 weeks he or she will likely be sleeping a long stretch through the night from about midnight to 6am so there won't be any "getting up thru the night to faff with bottles"

So you always have someone else on hand to do it?

I think the commenter is saying she didn’t have to sterilise anything as she breast fed, not that she had items to sterilise and didn’t bother.

NHS is always going to recommend breastfeeding. Even if they were the safest formula feeding machines in existence, I very much doubt that they would be recommended.

I didn’t see it as something overly risky and the benefits outweighed any small risks. Especially considering some countries don’t even recommend making up bottles with hot water anyway.

I read the information available, tested my own machines, made sure to use the correct filters and was very happy with my risk assessment and that’s what parents need to do.

She said she didn't sterilise the pump parts.

It makes a significant difference to baby’s future health to breastfeed for the first few weeks. After that it’s much less important.
I was breastfed for 2.5 months, I’ve never had a physical or mental health problem.
Do what works for you, but if at all possible do that first few weeks that really does make a difference.

The rest is noise and all the people who do 1 year or 18 months - it’s about them rather than making any real difference to the baby. I personally fed for 5.5 months and was delighted to give it up despite being surrounded by well educated mothers doing the full year or 18 months…

This is the best comment and I agree with you fully. If you’re considering breast feeding it’s always best to try, even if you do it for a day and decide it’s not for you… it’s better than going straight to formula and thinking ahh I wish I gave it a go.

I did combi feeding for 9 weeks with my son and 4 weeks with my daughter before switching to formula. No regrets and definitely felt a relief after switching but I also know mums who love their breast feeding journey so I think everyone is different

Ignore that. I was reading too quickly. She did do it.

Of course not. With breastfeeding though, the choice isn’t there unless you include expressing and bottles anyway so the apparent faff.

Maybe other family members liked to feed them too?