AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

[WalkBackwards]

We have moved house recently and our parents have been wanting to visit. We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet, or they can wait another couple of months and everything will be done in the house so they can then stay with us.

They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage. They have now messaged our children to ask if they mind sleeping in another room so they can have their bedroom. I called my mum and told her not to do that, we had said no and if they want to visit, they need to get a hotel or wait.

Were we unreasonable to say no to this? My parents plan to visit for 2 weeks at the start of September. My oldest child is only here til just after they plan to leave as he is going back to uni and my teenager needs her own space for studying as she is starting year 13.

Is there another factor here eg do the DCs rooms have en suites and they don’t feel comfortable sleeping in a room without one for medical reasons? I admit I find it hard to not have one now, I manage currently but add 15 years and I might be wanting one too! Just a thought

What you'd make your parents stay in a room they don't want while building work is in progress in said room?

How very inhospitable!

2 weeks? I couldn't do that.
If the spare room is good enough for your kids to sleep in then it's good enough for them.

But if you had RTFT (as you say you have), you would know why this isn’t an option.

Yup! Totally common. If you go in to book, it’ll be cheaper per day the more days you block out and you can message the hosts and ask if they’d consider an additional discount for a two week booking.

I don’t know how you would negotiate on the first visit as you don’t necessarily have contact with the owner. A couple of ones we have stayed in several times have now suggested we book directly with them. If you only paid a deposit when you book you could then maybe message the owner, haven’t tried it myself.
Might be worth asking around for personal recommendations if your parents like a good standard.

Thank you. My son has found one so I will enquire now and speak to my parents. 🤞

This poster is just attention seeking. Or at the wind up.

Jesus wept.

This thread is insane. It's as if OP 's posts are invisible to an awful lot of posters.

For the benefit of @Loulou4022 et al:
BUILDERS ARE IN OP'S BEDROOM RENOVATING THE EN-SUITE. THEY START AT 7:30AM AND OP'S PARENTS AREN'T WILLING TO BE UP AND ABOUT BY THEN

Im glad you've found a way through it OP.

I was going to say that time speeds up when you are preparing for a uni departure and each of your family unit will want time with him. He will have all kinds of social stuff planned with all his mates saying goodbye to each other .. and then there's the sourcing all the bits and bobs for his digs..

Make sure you have a bit of one and one time with him. Its a big change in the family dynamics and your DD will feel it too.. that's probably when it would be more useful to have the GPs around.

But it won't be long before he's back for Christmas. Wishing him all the best

You can ask for a discount, which the host may or may not agree to.

I agree that the timing of the visit for two weeks is awful.
You have work, your daughter needs to get stuck in with her A levels, your son wants to enjoy his last days at home and needs to sort himself and his stuff out before he goes to university. That’s besides all the workmen around.
How much do the parents want to see of their grandchildren?
I would suggest they have just a couple of days nearby to see you all and wish your son well, then come for a proper stay with you when your house is straight. Anything else is excessively inconvenient.

Do you have a severe reading comprehension problem?

I'll spell it out for you in the smallest words and shortest sentences possible:

The ensuite to OP's bedroom is being ripped out.
A new one will be fitted during the period her DP want to visit.

Work will start at 7.30am every morning

DP do not want to have to get up and out of the bedroom by 7.30am.

So DP do not want to sleep in OP's bedroom.

HTH.

Your reading comprehension skills are shocking @Loulou4022

I'm sorry, but your parents are being very selfish.

You've offered them the spare room, but they refuse. That is their choice.

To go behind your backs and directly message your children asking them to give up their rooms for two weeks shows a serious lack of boundaries, especially as you had already told them no.

Your parents are only thinking of they want. It's important to stand firm and protect what your children want.

Since they don't want the spare room that is available, or to wait until your new house is better fit for guests, then they can stay in a hotel or stay home.

Did you not read any of the OP's other posts?

I suggested my parents that they sleep in the spare room but they didn’t want to

We are willing to let them sleep in the spare room but they won’t

We have said they can sleep in there and we will sort it out enough for them to do so

OP has said that is having a new ensuite bathroom being fitted in her bedroom so workmen will be there during the day.

What’s the problem? Is it the money? 2 weeks in a hotel might cost £1400? I don’t blame you for not wanting them staying all that time, why does it have to be two weeks, are they abroad?

OP has said that they are in their 60s.

Yes I've read them all.

The OP was frustrated as people are focused on that her posts changed. Did you not see her post I quoted when I replied with her own words?

The thread started with her saying they couldn't not stay, not the parents refusing.

OP has said that the ensuite in her bedroom is being replaced during the time that her parents want to stay and the workmen start work at 7.30 am.

For someone so invested in this thread and so determined to put OP in the wrong, I'm not sure why you don't read all OP's posts before asking questions that she has already answered.

In my opinion you are being unreasonable. Your parents are the senior members of the family so absolutely the younger members should move out to the storage rooms while the elders visit. It is the right thing to do and if you don’t teach your children that then be ready for the lack of respect you will get when you are the senior family members. Good luck with your decision.

Do you have a rudeness problem??
I don’t have a reading comprehension problem!!
It just seems as though no one involved is willing to compromise! No one is willing to move out of their room, book a hotel, get up early or do anything to make anyone else in the scenarios life easier!!

And your rudeness is shocking!! So we’re even Steven’s!!

I was responding to another person who quoted me and said why wasn’t I suggesting the OP move out of their room!
Jesus wept!!!

This thread is ridiculous!! Everyone just needs to bloody compromise!! And that’s not just aimed at OP but at the parents too!! Such a lot of drama over a bloody visit!!

I do know why this isn’t an option I was responding to another person who quoted me and said why wasn’t I suggesting the OP share their room so you obviously haven’t RTFT!!!!!