AIBU to insist my parents book a hotel for their visit?

[WalkBackwards]

We have moved house recently and our parents have been wanting to visit. We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet, or they can wait another couple of months and everything will be done in the house so they can then stay with us.

They asked if there are beds in the spare rooms, which there are, so they suggested one of our children (adult and teenager) could sleep in there and they could have their room. I said no as the spare rooms are messy and being used for storage. They have now messaged our children to ask if they mind sleeping in another room so they can have their bedroom. I called my mum and told her not to do that, we had said no and if they want to visit, they need to get a hotel or wait.

Were we unreasonable to say no to this? My parents plan to visit for 2 weeks at the start of September. My oldest child is only here til just after they plan to leave as he is going back to uni and my teenager needs her own space for studying as she is starting year 13.

I note @Duckiewasthefirstniceguy that you have chosen not to quote OP's update where she mentioned that both children have studying to do, all their notes, books etc are in their rooms, including their desks.

So why have you subjected yourself to the thread?

You literally have no intention of changing your mind, fair enough, so… why the thread?

I know, I'd be nipping that in the bud. Fair enough if they lived abroad or the other end of the country.

The thought of having my parents (or anyone else) stay with us for 2 weeks is horrific. I'm breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it😂

Do your parents have medical issues as I'm astonished that a couple only in their 60s can't drive 3 hours without a 2 week stay to recover. I would think that a weekend stay would be ample. I thought you were going to say they were in their 90s.

DH is 70 and drives 2-3 hours as his daily commute depending on which hospital he is working at.

She wouldn't be "subjected" to anything if people actually read her posts.

FFS! Why are people making things up? In my first post I said they asked if there was a bed in any of the spare rooms and when they knew there was, they suggested my children sleep in there. They didn’t suggest sleeping in there themselves. They are not willing to sleep in there!!!!

Are people just trolling?

Is there a particular reason why they wouldn't look at hotels or AirBnBs? Is is cost?

Personally I'd want to visit when my child was ready to welcome me rather than insisting on specific dates which don't suit. Particularly given you will be working & there is work being done in the house.

Absolutely this!

I think you misunderstood my comment! I think @WalkBackwards is being more than reasonable and has made sensible suggestions to her parents. I was responding to a certain poster’s misrepresentation of what had been said.

My mum gets anxious. She hasn’t been diagnosed with anything but I think she has anxiety/ocd. She gets nervous travelling and likes things to be a certain way. She is a good mum so I make allowances.

Dead.

Try again.

If the OP is old enough to have a child ready to go to university, the parents aren't youngsters, unless they had her at 17. So I think it's unreasonable and they'd be a lot more comfortable in a hotel. We had friends to stay days after moving into our current house but we were all in our early 30s at the time, it's a bit different.

My mum stays in a hotel when she comes to visit us now as she's more comfortable and also has a walk-in shower which we don't have. I don't think it's that unreasonable.

Also two weeks is a long time! Surely you'd want your own space? If they really want to come earlier I'd suggest just coming for a long weekend.

Just to help....

This is taken wors for word from your OP

We have said they can but that they will have to book a hotel as the spare bedrooms aren’t ready yet

Because the Op's parents want the spare room to be finished.
They won't accept a room that is still work in progress.
They want their grandchildren to stay in it.

RTFT

Specifically, the OP's post about ensuite bathroom being replaced.

Try again.

🧌

Regardless of the bed situation, who agreed to 2 weeks for a visit?! It's well known that 3 days is the absolute maximum for guests.

I think they might stay in an airbnb, I hadn’t thought of that and just suggested a hotel which they didn’t seem keen on. I think they may be ok in an Airbnb with more space so I’m going to suggest it to them.

Her bedroom will be chaos (and dirty and messy, based on my experience last week) because workmen are in there at 7:30 every morning working on the en suite.

(Chances are OP and her DH will end up crashing in the spare room a couple of nights at least. The grit, brick and plaster dust gets absolutely everywhere.)

The daughter needs her clothes, her school stuff supplies each morning and a place to do her school work when she gets home as she's in Year 13. The son is enjoying his last few weeks at home before going at university and has his girlfriend staying.

The OP's parents can rough it in the spare room, can book into an hotel or can postpone their visits for a month or two until to get place is more habitable

Or the entire lot of them could meet halfway for a weekend stay at an Airbnb so they can spend some time together.

If you've read all OP's posts why are you criticising her for not giving her DP the master bedroom?

OP- I hope that YOU aren't planning on paying for their Airbnb??? They are CF's for going behind your back to ask the kids. You've made reasonable options and given you are renovating, that is more than generous IMO. And 2 weeks! They are in their 60's! I'd be asking your mum about her anxiety and what support she is getting for that?

We've just finished major renovations and lived in a tiny, static caravan in the garden. DH's good friend, who is very tight, was warned that there was no where for him to stay, so sent him a list of hotels/BNB's. He bought a camp bed and thought he'd sleep in the house or within our van somewhere. The house had no doors, windows and a temporary roof. The van's spare room was filled to the roof with storage boxes. Friend was very aggrieved that he had to pay for a hotel so only stayed 1 night, not the whole long weekend he'd planned. 🤭

There are a few trolls on the thread that have form for being aggressive on threads. Advanced search is great. 😉

If anyone knows if it’s ok to negotiate price on Airbnb, that would be great? Someone mentioned doing it as it’s for 2 weeks and out of school holidays but we’ve never done it, so is it something that is commonly done and expected?

Well if your reading comprehension improved she would need to keep repeating herself only for you not to read it

The OP's parents want to come at a really difficult time for OP and want to stay for 2 weeks while OP has

• building work in the house
• OP and husband work from home
• school starting for DD who is starting her final A-level year and needs access to her desk, textbooks, computer equipment etc etc
• DS heading off to Uni and needs to pack up room and also wants to spend time with his stuff

OP's parents refuse to stay for shorter than 2 weeks because a 3 hour drive is apparently too much for a couple in their 60s
The parents refuse to stay in

• OP's room - because of building work
• the spare room because it's not decorated

OP would rather they didn't stay in the kids' rooms for 2 weeks (see above) Parents won't compromise with spare room or hotel

If it was me I would be giving the parents my bedroom as I said on my original post that we had done and would willingly do again!!

I agree! Though wouldn't move DC just let them sleep in the clutter or a blow up in living room.

Your parents said very awkward so I don't blame you.

that good - hopefully a workable compromise that will work for everyone.