DD overdose. The system is broken? Any advice?

[BeethovenNinth]

I have posted about DD before. Broken by lockdown, anorexia age 12, school drop out, burn out, self harm extreme. We are five years in.

we have repeatedly been told she doesn’t qualify for help and have tried various therapists ourselves.

she is out of school and self learning. Very lonely. Seems ok recently ot so I thought.

due to intense sadness last night she took an overdose of aspirin. I suspect a cry for help and she phoned childline who got her to phone 111. (She didn’t think to wake any of us). I suspect A and E will just kick us out soon.

we are a loving family but this is a huge setback.

we are Edinburgh based, desperate desperate for the right help.

private psychiatrist? Do we suggest sertraline? Anyone in Scotland have any good suggestions?

thanks from a broken mother

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m not in Scotland so I can’t help you from that perspective. I assume she doesn’t meet the threshold for camhs? I mean, who does?

What therapy have you tried already? Does she engage at all? I would go private if you can afford it.

I'm so sorry, you must be feeling so panicked and stressed and worried: go to A&E and demand a CAMHS referral before leaving. When DD1 was self harming with suicide ideation, it was seen as highest priority in my GP and she was referred quickly. She was also triggered by lock down and they really helped her with CBT.
If she is 18 can she be sectioned due to imminent risk of self harm? some medicine sorted out under section?

I hope she is OK x

No advice but I'm so sorry to read this and I hope you can get the right support for your DD. It's terribly sad that she's feeling this way at such a very young age

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.

I don't know much about the support available for that issues, but I notice you say she is lonely.

Have you tried getting involved with placed like this (Edinburgh based home education networks) to try and foster connections for her, with people in a similar situation?

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1C566rjCXY/

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I'm sorry this is happening and its been going on for so long.

My son was under CAMHS. It was only when he took a large over dose that they done anything. It seems our children have to do something drastic before theres any help.. i hope they step up now. It really shouldn't take this though.

I hope things get better soon 💐

I have walled this road and it is horrific. We were completely abandoned by CAMHS, who wanted to offer only six sessions after coming out of tier 4 after a suicide attempt, which saw her AN come back even stronger. I followed the complaints process and went to the Ombudsman, looked at how they were not following NICE guidelines, got a youth worker for my daughter. I feel this process eventually secured decent support for her and she was not discharged until she was 18. I’ve made it sound easy, it wasn’t. Sertraline did not work for her. In the first few weeks. She got hold of a sharp and cut herself deeply 16 times requiring hospital, stitches and glue. So, my advice would be complain, try to get a youth worker for your daughter. My dd was also autistic and knowing this helped. I have to say tier 4 was a horrible experience for her and traumatising for us all. I fought not to have her sectioned (it would be in a setting that didn’t support AN, but she was Anorexic - mind blowing).

She won’t be sectioned for an overdose.

Is she 18 OP and still Anorexic since 12?

I can't imagine what your going through it must be awful. Anything wrong with my kids literally creates this awful dark cloud over me 😞

I cant help you but it might be worth exploring something private and see if it helps 💞

I’m so sorry OP
Maybe she’s ND
My child was affected by lockdown
Not got Anorexia
But her life changed after sertraline
Your daughter will probably have anxiety I’m guessing?
Trial it.
We are still grateful for sertraline and no longer need it.

Good luck
It’s so tough for youngsters and a terrible journey sorry to hear these stories.

I might be able to suggest something, unsure if I’m correct but once 18 she could do The Mantra - The Maudsley method. Ask the GP about it? Boost her esteem as much as possible. Set goals.

Thanks all.

i have begged for help. After her anorexia relapse I refused to leave without seeing a psychiatrist but was told admission would make her worse.

she isn’t anorexic now. Her self harm was horrific and we pulled her out of school. She has had an ok summer and volunteers and seemed engaged with learning.

I have no idea what has happened to be honest.

i can pay privately for a psychiatrist - sertraline - but i worry about suicidal thoughts. But we are already there I guess.

Look up Janet Treasure at the Maudsley. You might find her on u tube. She was on the radio once and I distinctly remember her saying that ketamine can help. I really hope you can get the help you need and the earlier the better.

So sorry op. Cahms was really quite shit where I am in Scotland. I would definately pay for private cbt therapy as a first step before medication though.

My dd did similar.

personal advice:

get all drugs either out of the house or into a locked drug cabinet you keep in your bedroom.

remove all blades from her room and ideally from all common areas as well (knives, scissors, my dd used blade from pencil sharpener).

private therapist who specialises in self harm

private psych will also help. Sertraline is the usual but some people feel worse on it so might have to be other options.

I second MANTRA if she still has Anorexia. We endured years of FBT under CAMHS that did not work. MANTRA via adult services was a game changer. I think Anorexia with suicidal idealisation is seen as more serious. Assuming the support offered now is still pants( I agree with the op the system is broken) could you go to the GP and attempt to ask for an urgent referral to adult ED services and mention MANTRA. They may not do it or want to do something else but it’s worth raising it. I think you can get MANTRA private now.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I would absolutely go private. ❤️

I’m in England but when I couldn’t get my DD seen in a similar situation I went to CAMHS and refused to leave. Literally. I followed someone in and said to the receptionist I wanted to see a manager. They said there wasn’t one so I said I would wait until they found one. After about 30 minutes a manager of another team was found. I told him if my daughter killed herself or others I would go to the press and say I came for help and no one would help me. Extreme but it worked and we got seen regularly after that.

it’s a long story but CAMHS did over medicate my child and Fluoxetine helped initially but things went from bad to worse even with CAMHS involvement.

Happy to say after about 5 years of an utter nightmare and lots of self harm / suicidal attempts my DD is now ‘ok’. Hope that gives you hope.

if you are not already I suggest joining the Facebook group Partnering not Parenting and doing the course. There are lots of great things in the course to keep you healthy while you battle this.

Hi OP. This may not be suitable but Im edinburgh based and I know of PF counselling on Balcarres st. It's very affordable - its suggested donations each session (around £20) and it is volunteer counsellors. My Gp suggested them alongside trying sertraline. I hated he drugs but I enjoyed the counselling! It might be a starting point to get her talking. I went on Friday afternoons and there was often teens in the waiting room. Apologies if that isnt helpful - I dont know the full range of services they provide but as I'm Edinburgh based too, I thought I'd add it as a suggestion for you to look at.

@Weeellokthen CBT is intense I think? The person having it would have to be on board. OP’s DD seems like it’s urgent. CBT would take a while and that’s if she’s engaged. I would say try meds until stable then CBT but I’m no doctor.

Hi op-

can I ask why GP is not involved and prescribing an SSRI? This is normally done in primary care and not by a psychiatrist.

yes they can have side effects but with careful monitoring and careful explanation to her that they may make suicidal thoughts/ anxiety worse in the first week or so they will start to work after this .

good luck op. It’s so hard seeing our children suffer.

@BeethovenNinth a private adolescent specialist psyciatrist turned dd round. Full bloods to discount the physical (there was something and immediately treated). Fluoxetine, therapy/CBT, day therapy, diagnosis of ADHD and also ASD traits but not enough for a diagnosis (this was the root of the escalation), anxiety and depression.

She was cutting, overdosing and witholding food but never went below 7st6lb. Awful 15 to 17/18. CAMHS were diabolical and say more from the perspective of competence than resources. We did, with the help of our MP get her into the adult ADHD service which is excellent, when she turned 18.

AD's were essential because they got her to a place where she could engage with therapy. The ADHD diagnosus was a turning point (masked due to high academic functioning but not to potential).

Regarding therapists, they are like shoes. They have to try a few before one fits so don't get frustrated too much if at first this doesn't succeed.

The downside, including BUPA contibutions it cost about £20k. BUPA covered about half.

The upside, whilst she will always have ADHD and liable to depression and anxiety, she manages it. After a year out she went to uni, qualified as a teacher (secondary) and is getting married next year. She's 28 and doing OK.

It's a disgrace that far too many young people are falling through the NHS net.

I’m so sorry you’re living with this and the fight to keep her safe. Strong recommendation for stepping stones psychiatry clinic in London. You can self refer and most is done online. I’m in slightly similar position here in Edinburgh and found all help here utterly useless. Pleas feel free to DM me.

Yes sorry - her eating is okay just now.

she bounced from disordered eating to self harm to “cope”.

she isn’t autistic but has neurodivergent traits. I think Covid and or lockdown fucked her brain - being blunt about it

she has seen therapists - she says she is done talking.

she is sweet and kind and caring.

I feel medication is our only option from here

If she might be autistic, find a therapist who specialises in autism. Some therapy can have the opposite effect on autistic people.