AIBU to feel uneasy about mothers leaving successful careers?

[Toodledootwo]

All my friends are quitting their successful career jobs after having children. They all seem to be throwing their hands in the air saying what’s the point. Is there a revolt happening against women working? It seems we were encouraged to get to work and be independent….but when becoming a mother….still be that mother, still be that provider till burn out?

Very many people have untapped talent and the OU is all about this. Fair enough really and not aimed at anyone giving up a highly paid role. Women are not duped into anything but students are definitely duped into degrees with poor grad employment prospects. I think we all know this - just look at the grad unemployment stats. They are awful.

That’s a sweeping generalisation. It’s far more nuanced than that.

@MickyMoonshine And so is you thinking duping is not widespread amongst the young and more definitely need better critical thinking skills. But, yes, there are nuances to making these decisions.

supporting women who stepped away from a corporate career when they had children - that is a whole different story, women of substance stepping away to have children for a while and then returning to work - they are mega-valuable. My story was fake Open University adverts, advertising a course in accounting, basically mis-selling to older people, telling them that if they do this course - their lives will change and they will be employed as accountants. No, they won't. Not in their late 50s, they won't. And this advert was mis-selling to older people. How do I know it won't help? A woman I knew, as I said, mega-intelligent (academically) who bought the lies that her PhD would land her a job in EU - PhD in East European Political Institutions (LSE). She is now working in a charity shop, £40K later, reproductive years ruined later, years of unsuccessful job hunting (what, you are 45, this is the first time you are applying for a serious job, I can see you have a PhD, but?) later. Led up the garden path, most of her life. Realised it was a lie in her 60s.

With regard to your question about defining a useless degree - I can only reply in relation to people who have to earn their living after university. So for such people it would be a degree that would not lead to employment in the desired area, related to this degree, such that it would pay enough to live OK-ishly. Obviously, there are no such things as useless degrees for people with inherited wealth, all degrees are useful for them.

@HollyhocksandPeons What an odd take. All women have substance, not simply those who return to a professional job after children.

Many people also retrain and do work in that field in later life. Your weird anecdote isn’t reflective of the majority of women.

Of course - I meant substance for employers, not for their families or in general. Substance for employers - sorry, I forgot to tag the person I was replying to. It is a specific reply - I was only saying that mis-selling OU courses to older people, telling them they will have substance for employers with an accounting degree is wrong and to employers they won't have the same substance, as accountants, as those who stepped away from a corporate career and came back, that is all.

Well you didn't hras that did you. ?

It was people becoming accountants AFTER having been dinner ladies

Yeah, I’ve already acknowledged that.

How is saying the situation is nuanced making sweeping generalisations?

What are you talking about?

Can you share the statistics on accountancy degrees that make you think women who retrain later in life have no substance to employers and are unemployed with their “mis sold” degrees?
The employment figures for the OU graduates are generally pretty high.
This all seems like a sweeping generalisation based on your own bias.

I don't have the statistics on old re-trained dogs being gainfully employed in later life by police as sniffing dogs either, but I shall hazard a guess that police would rather select puppies?
I don't know about accounting from personal experience, but from personal experience in the litigation and arbitration field, there is zero chance that any firm would employ an Open University young graduate, never mind a 50-year old graduate, to be a paralegal, never mind anything else. I have also seen an LLB from Open University with the slogan 'it is never too late to change your career'. Aye, right. All I am saying is that it is immoral to mis-sell degrees to (vulnerable) adults. It is cruelty.

@HollyhocksandPeons
But an accounting course doesn’t mean the person has to go into accountancy and do client work. Every company has a finance function that requires people with accountancy qualifications. They won’t all be chartered.

Stop dissing the OU. I have now been a student with them for 4 years and counting. I have a chance to do a degree I am interested in and add something to my CV before rejoining the workforce in a few year's time.

So a whole load of sexist, ageist nonsense that’s not related to the thread and not based on any sort of facts.
Merely the incoherent ramblings of a loon.

All I am saying is that it is immoral to mis-sell degrees to (vulnerable) adults. It is cruelty.

As opposed to the other section of the industry that makes its money from minors committing to 10’s of thousands in student loan fees before they are even legally an adult. Got it.

Why on earth would someone be “vulnerable” because they are retraining as an adult?
Your logic is very, very odd.

I don’t have kids and I would GLADLY quit my high flying career. I’m burnt out, bored and fucking hate it. Unfortunately I literally can’t quit (expat on a non-transferable visa) so I’m stuck here.

My dream would be to re-train as a fitness/pilates instructor and live/travel around somewhere low-cost like SE Asia (I also absolutely love travel).

I know both men and women quitting the rat race, in fact it has become something to aspire to in some circles (FIRE, child-free, nomads etc.). It’s really not limited to mothers…

There's more to life than working for someone else. You feel uneasy because it's against the narrative of getting women into work. The debate has always been too simplistic. Women can work, be at home with kids, then go back to work again (if they want). Kids grow up. But happiness can come from both home life and career and depends on the individual woman.

The unintended consequences of financial freedom for women has been horrible inflation and house prices going through the roof.

The unintended consequences of financial freedom for women has been horrible inflation and house prices going through the roof

Oh dear god not that old chesnut!!

Please educate yourself on the deregulation of the financial markets, and MIRAS

The unintended consequences of financial freedom for women has been horrible inflation and house prices going through the roof.

Its the other way around.

The short answer is, get men to take on an (at least) equal share of all the parenting.

Everything - not just equal time physically looking after the child/children, but equal getting up in the night, equal knowing what works in a tantrum or a sobbing fit, equal knowing what snacks they like, equal googling what that weird rash is, equal batch cooking of child meals, equal checking what clothes have been outgrown, equal calling round nurseries for spaces and so on and on and on.

Most of the women I know who stepped back (including me) didn’t do so because they absolutely loved spending all day with their babies and small children. They did it because they were knackered from trying to juggle their job with 80-90% of the child and home demands - something had to give, and it couldn’t really be the kids.

Get fathers to step up more- and crucially to do this even if it impacts their career - and you’ll see more mothers staying on.

@Melograno Please educate yourself on basic inflation.

Read what the Pp wrote -inflation and increased house prices were not caused by women working!
Same old misogynistic bullshit

There is a very valid theory that increased purchasing power in families absolutely does inflate prices. There’s nothing misogynistic about it.

Seriously look at the financial issues that arose in the 80s , specifically MIRAS and Financial Deregulation
That is why house prices rocketed not women joining the workforce as PP suggested